why didn't I stay in California?

I grew up in San Francisco, so I am used to moderately cold rainy days. Especially during the summers. I just assumed growing up that summers were like that everywhere. We would drive to some of the surrounding suburbs to visit pools and beaches and 75 or 80 degrees to me seemed inconceivably hot. In fact, if you are ever planning to visit the bay area, don't go in the summer, go in the fall. Some strange weather phenomenon occurs in the summer making it colder and rainier, while the fall is gorgeous, warm, and sunny.

Moving on.

Then I came to Boston for college and met this lovely man, who would later turn out to be the hubs. The hubs is from a suburb of Boston (Andover, for those familiar with Massachusetts) and his dream was to be in Boston, and he couldn't conceive of living outside of the East Coast. So we made a deal. He would follow wherever my career would lead, so long as it was the East Coast. And he did. We lived in New Haven, CT for law school, New York, NY for my first job, and when an opportunity to move to Boston came about, we took it. It was a no-brainer at the time. With the same salary that was barely affording us a two-bedroom apartment in New York, we could buy a house, own a car, and save money in Boston. Not much money, mind you, and we are pretty much scraping by, but we still were able to buy a house.

Honestly, though, the 4 years I spent in Boston weren't bad weather wise. It barely snowed in the winter and the summers started later, perhaps in early May, but it wasn't that bad. My 3 years in Connecticut seemed far worse! It snowed constantly, it was rainy and dreary all the time, I even got Seasonal Affective Disorder from my many hours spent in the library.

New York was far better. The weather was decent with not much snow and lots of sunshine and hot summers. Too hot for my tastes, but it was definitely doable.

And now we're just outside Boston. This winter, if you'll recall, there was a lot of snow. In fact, January 2005 broke a 113 year snowfall record in one month. Fabuuuuulous, no? Particularly considering it was my first year as a snow-shoveling home owner. You'll recall also, from this post, that the hubs traveled every week. Thus leaving me to shovel alone. More fabulousness, no?

But now its May. I took this week off of work to plant all the plants I ordered from the online nursery. They have arrived, and they are sitting in my garage waiting to be planted. I also bought this lovely dwarf lilac tree and a white azalea. Also sitting by the house waiting to be planted.

Why? Why are they waiting to be planted? Only because May 2005 happens to be the coldest May EVER in Boston. Yes, that's correct, EVER. They announced it last night on the news. This whole week has been days like this one. Monday- 40 degrees and raining. Tuesday- 40 degrees and raining. Wednesday- 40 degrees and huge rainstorm with thunder, lightning, and 50 mph winds. It is enough to drive a girl over the edge. So no planting has happened in the halloweenlover household, and not much house work has been done because we are devoid of energy given the gloomy weather outside.

If you know anything about rain gods, please send some non-raining prayers our way. And if you can spare some sunshine, I'd appreciate it also. I have about 40 plants sitting in the garage in need of some planting. They'd appreciate it too.

And for those waiting to hear about A? She is still in labor. Still going back and forth to the hospital. Still not progressing. Apparently they can't do anything about it until she progresses on her own or she reaches her due date, which isn't until June 6th. You could throw some positive thoughts her way too.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

on the vomiting thing

She is STILL IN LABOR. A got sent home last night because she is not progressing and is on her way back in again this morning. The kicker is that she lives an hour from the hospital, so each time in and out is a 2 hour fiasco.

Ahhh, the joys of being a woman.

is it wrong that I feel like vomiting?

My friend, A, just called me and she is on her way to the hospital in labor. She said that she has been having contractions since yesterday morning but as of last night she was only one centimeter dilated. I am really happy for her because she has been ready to post an eviction notice on her belly any day now, but now I am a huge bundle of nerves. I also feel sick to my stomach! I will go about my business for a few minutes and then remember that she is in labor and I have to struggle not to puke. I am just a bit ill at the thought of her in pain, even though I know the end result is worth it.

Blech. And this, I suppose, is why I don't have a baby yet. I have to stop wanting to puke at the thought of labor. Positive thoughts folks, positive thoughts for A, her hubs, and her (hopefully doc not wrong) baby girl!

in honor of my last day

I'd like to share with you a departure memo that I didn't write, but that has cracked me up many a time over the last couple of years. YG&B refers to it in her comment below.

This was written by a law firm associate when he left a shall-remain-nameless LA firm.

Oh, if only we all could write our own versions of this...


From: [REDACTED] Sent: Thursday, May 27, 2004 1:11 PM Subject: FW: Goodbye...

As many of you are aware, today is my last day at the firm. It is time for me to move on and I want you to know that I have accepted a position as "Trophy Husband". This decision was quite easy and took little consideration. However, I am confident this new role represents a welcome change in my life and a step up from my current situation. While I have a high degree of personal respect for PHJW as a law firm, and I have made wonderful friendships during my time here, I am no longer comfortable working for a group largely populated by gossips, backstabbers and Napoleonic personalities. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a pinata and beaten than remain with this group any longer. I wish you continued success in your goals to turn vibrant, productive, dedicated associates into an aimless, shambling group of dry, lifeless husks.

May the smoke from any bridges I burn today be seen far and wide.

Respectfully submitted,

[SIGNED]

ps. Achilles absent, was Achilles still. (Homer)

in other news

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK!!!!

Well, until Monday May 31st, when I start at my new job. BUT, my new job will be wonderful and exciting and DOWNTOWN!!!

Do you know what DOWNTOWN means??? It means THIS. And THIS. And THIS. And a little of THIS, sprinkled with some of THIS.

I love downtown Boston. We sacrificed on the size and state of our house in order to live closer to downtown, but we still don't get in enough. And now that my office will be downtown, it means that I can do all the fun stuff when I get off of work. Which is never, but still, a girl can dream.

who the hell asked her?

I would like to know who told Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd that what this world needed was an study stating that the female orgasm is archaic and unnecessary.

Seriously. Who told her to waste her time, energy, and brain power on a thesis that encourages people to ignore the female orgasm? I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. Please send their address also.

What would be helpful is a study that finds that humankind will suffer, crash, and burn if a woman doesn't have the big O EACH AND EVERY TIME she has sex.

In fact, I'd be willing to send some funds to such a study. Heck, I'd be willing to wreak a little havoc each time I am not fully satisfied.* Any joiners?


*to me dear sweet hubs, not that I am EVER EVER EVER not fully satisfied. I am just pretending for the sake of this blog. Kisses.

what we will NOT be doing on Friday

I suspect the Hubs doesn't want THIS kind of celebrating.

OUCH.

an end to the madness

I have a little secret. I've been keeping it because I am a bit afraid of crazy internet stalkers, even though I am fairly secretive about location and names. But still, my mom, she done taught me to be paranoid, so paranoid I am.

Anyway, my secret is that the hubs is a consultant.

What? So boring? Well, yes, I suppose it is. But being a consultant means that he is away starting in the wee hours of Monday morning to the late hours of Thursday night. It means that I am all by my lonesome in our tiny house, at the mercy of the crazy masturbators that haunt the neighborhood. It also means that for the almost 3 years we have been married, including 2 years before then, we have been a 50% of the time kind of couple. I call it our trial marriage.

But now the time to share this secret has come because this Friday is the last day of his job. Which means that I will now be in a full-time marriage. Oooooh, very scary.

You can laugh, but it is a little scary. Scary and wonderful at the same time. You see, traveling was awful for a number of reasons.
1. We had to be apart during the week.
2. All tasks like paying bills, cleaning house, seeing friends, fixing the heat, getting nooky, etc. have to be left to weekends.
3. I miss him.
4. I have to do lots of things by myself.
5. I want him to be home with me.
6. He is tired when he gets home and doesn't feel like going away for the weekend or taking a road trip because he has been away all week.
7. My bed is lonely without him.
8. He can't help with the dogs or emergencies.

And did I mention that I love him and I miss him?

Traveling wasn't a bad thing for a few reasons, though:
1. We really make an effort on the weekends to spend quality time together (not that others don't, but we had to try super hard every weekend).
2. We have had to learn to solve problems by talking through them extensively, often on the phone (this really is a big deal, because we couldn't just huff or yell our way through bumps in the road, it took learning good communication skills).
3. Made us appreciate the times we spend together more than we would have otherwise (not that you, dear internet, don't appreciate time with a significant other, but we wouldn't have).
4. Keeping very individual lives and personalities (couldn't become too dependent on each other).
5. Frequent flier miles + frequent stay points at hotels = free vacations.
6. Allowed us to live in Boston, MA, New Haven, CT, New York, NY, and now secret suburb, MA (i.e. move around like crazy people) without worrying about his job.

All these travel perks were great, but I am beyond ready for him to be home with me full-time. I am ecstatic at the thought of sleeping together every night, eating meals more than 3 nights a week together, waking up with him, and most importantly, doing normal couple things during the week. Hurray! It also means that I will be more willing to go away without him on a weekend, or make plans with other people, since I'll see him other days besides Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Plus, he is leaving his job to be a full-time MBA student, and that totally means I can boss him around. I mean, I'll be working, so I think he should have to walk the dogs and do the laundry and take out the trash, right?

But the real reason I had to share this secret, or the end of this secret, is because a friend pointed out that I make him seem rather lazy on this blog since I talk about having to do so much. And now you know the truth. I have had to do so much because he is off visiting exotic places like Louisville, KY, or Binghamton, NY, or Madison, WI. I trust that he would rather be with me to help with the broken heat, but this has been his reality for 5 years.

So Friday evening, feel free to have a drink to the end of this crazy commuting schedule and send me suggestions for how we should celebrate! Ummm, besides nooky, I already have that one down.

I have a syndrome

Sometimes when I am really really overtired, and I mean really really tired beyond reason, I lie down to go to sleep and something strange happens. I get this odd tingling in my legs. It is really intense, almost as if they have completely fallen asleep, and there is a dull ache that radiates from up and down my legs, and I get this uncontrollable urge to wriggle my legs around. The feeling is intolerable, and I am practically powerless against the urge to move them around desperately.

This happens once a month or once every couple of months. I never mentioned it, because in my mind it would be like asking you if your head or butt itches sometimes. Of course it does! I thought this happened to everyone.

Turns out it doesn't.

I apparently have Restless Legs Syndrome.

Please don't laugh or point fingers, and I hope you'll still be my friend.

Funny thing is, I called my mom to tell her about it, and her response was "what? It doesn't happen to everyone?" Apparently, though, RLS can be a serious thing that affects people's daily lives because they can't fall asleep due to the uncontrollable tingling. For me, it is just a nuisance, and hopefully it never gets worse. A nuisance, and a source of comedy really. Now I have an excuse for lots of things.

Can't make it to work on time? My RLS kept me up all night.
Not really in the mood? My RLS is acting up.
Don't feel like visiting the inlaws?* They aggravate my RLS.

See? Multitude of uses.

But seriously, your butt itches sometimes, right?


*** Not that this ever ever ever happens. I ALWAYS want to visit the inlaws :)

Jardin de Halloweenlover

And now, for your reading pleasure, the titillating gardening post.

Here are the plants I have chosen:

1. HYDRANGEA macrophylla 'All Summer Beauty'
2. HELIOPSIS Scabra Summer Sun
3. CHRYSANTHEMUM superbum Becky (perennial of the year!)
4. CAMPANULA Glomerata Alba
5. PHLOX paniculata David
6. COREOPSIS verticillata Moonbeam
7. HEUCHERA Firefly
8. GAILLARDIA Tokajer
9. HYDRANGEA paniculata LIMELIGHT (what could be more beautiful than lime colored hydrangeas!)
10. CLEMATIS Dutchess of Albany
11. CLEMATIS Jackmanii
12. CLEMATIS Lanuginosa Candida
13. SEDUM Telephium Purpureum Autumn Joy
14. LUPINE Red Shades
15. HOLLYHOCK Double Flowered mix
16. RUDBECKIA fulgida sullivantii Goldsturm
17. Sunflowers, my personal favorite, grown from seeds

And bulbs for the fall:
1. BULB Anemones Single Mixed - Value Pack
2. BULB Color Theme Garden - Blue Garden

The front yard is going to be pinks, purples and blues, with a rhododendron and the hydrangea and then random annuals.

The back yard is going to be reds, oranges, yellows and whites. One side of the back yard, where I am also growing my vegetables, will have the climbing pink, white and purple clematis. I'm not growing many vegetables, but I have lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers, so far.

After I ordered everything from Bluestone Perennials, it did occur to me that perhaps this is a little ambitious for someone who has never grown anything in her life. But I have faith in myself. I think I can do it! Plus, these plants arrive small and ready for planting. I just have to get them in the ground and then water them, right? And they are guaranteed to survive, so I'll just keep getting new ones if I kill them. But that won't happen, I hope.

All my plants have already shipped and the Hubs and I are taking next week off from work to do house work! So planting, here I come!

And now, how to avoid work

1. Work like an animal: weekends, nights and all day
2. Let yourself get jerked around and given false deadlines
3. Start to lose your mind and find yourself mumbling to yourself in the hallway about co-workers
4. Find another job
5. Give your two-week notice at current job
6. Scorn all type of work and particularly any deadlines
7. Make your views on their previous false deadlines and jerking around clear
8. Discover that people steer clear of you and give work to other employees

Now if only I could actually do numbers 6-8, my last week here would be a lot better.

more on the pen!s licking...

The Hubs is totally taken with the notion that Tango apparently "pleasures himself" too much. He felt that I needed to spend more time on this, while I feel that it was adequately covered in the previous post. But to make him happy, again for you all.

I had to get up several times in the middle of the night to follow the dog around and see what color his pee was, then I had to leave work in the middle of the day and follow him around the front yard with a Tupperware container to catch a urine sample while trying not to get splashed with the urine, and then I had to take him to the vet and pay $97 to have him tell me that Tango "has a vice, and licks himself too much."

No wonder the Hubs is so proud.

pre-furred customer

I am thinking about writing up a plan for my veterinarian where he will give patients points for each visit or dollar spent at his veterinary hospital that can later be redeemed for stuff. Toys, food, dog toothpaste, you know, the regulars.

In case I haven't told you yet, Tango and Murray "do their business" on pee-pee pads. Almost like a litter box, but with flat diaper looking things where they pee and poop. After a few uses, I just toss the pads and flush the poop anytime it appears.

Last night, after playing outside for a bit, we all came inside and they used their pee-pee pads. They are so accustomed to their litter box that they won't even pee outside. Random pups. Anyway, I noticed a pinkish tinge to the pee-pee on one spot and then a couple of spots next to it, also quite pink. I decided to watch and see who it was. All night last night, each time one of them would leave to use the litter box, I would follow them to see if it was pink. Of course, I was half asleep, so I would wait until they'd left the room, and after hearing them pad around the hallway I'd drag myself downstairs and check the pad. Nothing. No pink tinge.

This morning, I followed them, but lost Tango in the process. When I came back upstairs I saw that he was back in his bed, even though I'd seen him leave. And then... I went into the bathroom and discovered that my towel had fallen on the floor and apparently the dogs figured that was a great reason to just use it as their pee-pee pad. I mean, why go downstairs when you can just pee on your mom's towel, right?

And the towel had the same pink tinge.

I called the vet as soon as I was in the office and explained the situation and told them that I was pretty sure it was Tango, since he had stayed upstairs while Murray peed downstairs, but I couldn't be sure. The receptionist said to bring him into the office for a checkup. And bring a sample. Ummmm, of what? His pee.

Now, I am the first to admit that my dogs are geniuses, but somehow, peeing in a cup is not one of their strengths. I just don't think they would understand. But, if I didn't collect a sample of pee in a cup, then they would have to catheterize him, and I couldn't stand the thought, so I agreed.

I left work with plenty of time to spare, and 2pm found me hovering over Tango with a Tupperware container, urging him to pee against a tree so that I could collect a sample. He took his sweet time, while I tried to look totally nonchalant in front of the neighbors, standing in the front yard, following the dog with a Tupperware in my hand. He finally leaned against some forsythia and I shoved the container into the stream, trying desperately not to get peed on. He looked at me a little strangely, and stopped rather quickly, but I did manage to get a few drops into the container. Yippee! But now I had to transport it. I put on the top, but that didn't seem like enough. So I rubberbanded it. And plastic baggied it. Twice.

Turns out he has a urinary tract infection. From licking himself. You know, his thing. The vet says it is a vice, a bad habit, that I have to break him of. Mmm hmm. Break him of licking himself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what dogs DO?

Suggestions will be accepted from anyone who knows how to get the pup to stop pleasuring himself, because apparently it is excessive. I have a compulsive masturbator for a dog. Great. But at least we'll get lots of points from my pre-furred customer program.

sick.

THIS makes me sick to my stomach. Really, truly ill. It also makes me want to scream.

Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense

Dear Neighbors,

That person you saw crouching in the bushes outside of your house last night was, in fact, me. And I was not "casing your joint", exciting though that may sound.

I was actually trying to pick up after my dog, Tango, who decided to take a shit in your bushes, as far from a lamp post as possible so that my only option for finding said piece of shit was to look for a heat source.

I would have just left the shit in your bushes, but I would hate for someone to step in it and then begin to hate dogs, because well, I love dogs.

Thank you, though, for shining your front spotlight on me and glaring at me through the window. I appreciate the fact that you are taking care of the neighborhood in your own little "neighborhood watch program." And in the future, I will try not to crawl through your bushes again.

Best Wishes,
Halloweenlover

a note of clarification

Last night I was thinking that perhaps I had made my struggle with religion look too easy. It hasn't been and I doubt it will ever be easy. Coming to this realization has taken years of tears and struggles and fights, and I still feel twinges when people talk about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and I know my children will never believe in these creatures. Of course, I will make up new traditions and my kids will have lovely traditions that I never had. But it is still tremendously hard, and sad at times to make this kind of choice.

I am married to the love of my life, though, and every day I feel overwhelmed with how wonderful our life is, so I figure that its a good trade-off.

how do you know?

Today I went to the funeral for a dear friend's grandfather. She grew up in the same house as him, so it was a terrible blow for her and her family when he died. I don't know that anyone can quantify whether it is harder or easier for someone to deal with the death of a family member, but I know that people are close to their families in different ways. Suffice to say that for her, I think it was almost like a parent dying because they are so close.

As I sat in her Catholic church listening to the mass, I kept staring at the cross hanging above the altar and trying to examine what I believe. You see, I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic elementary, high school, and college, was incredibly active in the Catholic church for the first 20 years of my life, and then I met and married a Jewish boy.

Meeting and marrying that Jewish boy didn't break my connection to the Catholic church, but it allowed me to bring my doubts to the surface. I had been feeling conflicted about my church and its beliefs, and all of a sudden in front of me was someone who clearly disagreed with everything I practiced. And I could really question and challenge my religion without anyone arguing back.

In middle and high school, I loved my church. I spent most of my hours outside of school doing church activities and helping to run the youth group for the high school and junior high. I was a lector and eucharistic minister, and I think deep down I wished I could be a priest. Well, I know that deep down I wished I could be a priest, and it was a little heartbreaking when I realized that the church didn't want me. And that there was no real place for me in the Catholic church, except as a nun.

Added to that my differing views on divorce, abortion, homosexuality, and a host of issues, and I had a problem on my hands. My mom subscribed to the don't question, just believe mentality, but it wasn't working for me. So I would try to delve deeper in order to come to some peace with myself. My minor in college was a program combining faith, social action, and justice, and I ached for a congregation that would allow me to disagree with all of these major (at least for me) issues, while still being engaged. Most of my college friends and roommates felt the same way, but we continued to attend mass because it was our history and our upbringing. We might disagree, but there was no consensus about what to do with that disagreement.

Meeting the Hubs allowed me to take a break from being Catholic, so to speak, and question what I believed. There was one thing I knew without a doubt: I could not, and did not, believe in a G-d that would condemn the love of my life for being born into Judaism, while I was saved because I was Catholic. I even told my Catholic priest that if G-d was such a person, it wasn't someone with whom I wanted to spend eternity. I still believe that.

Before going forward, though, I want to make clear that I am not criticizing anyone else's beliefs or thoughts on these issues, just putting my own down on paper.

Today I sat in mass and asked myself whether I really DON'T believe in a Christ, that died on the cross, born from the virgin Mary and saints and all the rest. And if I do believe, how can I say that I will raise my children Jewish (as we are planning to do)? How could I let my children believe something different?

I think I can do this because while I definitely believe that there is a G-d, I don't believe that any one religion has it right. I don't believe that G-d will pick and choose which competing religion has the idea and thus treat that religion better than others. I know loads of people, disagree, but I just can't believe that.

I want my children to have faith, to have something to hold on to, just as I did, but I will not teach them that one is better than others, or that Judaism has it right. They will be born Jewish, just as they will be born Argentinean and American. I won't keep it a secret that I am Catholic, but I plan to practice Judaism with my children, in my home, and I plan to be wholly involved in their teaching and religious upbringing.

But no, I can't really say that I don't believe in everything I was taught as a child. I find the Our Father and the Hail Mary comforting. I love the notion of angels and saints, and I certainly believe in heaven. But I don't exactly believe either. Maybe I am just afraid to say that I don't believe, maybe it is the Catholic guilt kicking in.

I know that I see G-d all around me. I know that I try to be a better person all the time, and I feel a debt for all the blessings that have been bestowed on me. I believe in love and forgiveness and kindness and I have no doubt that those are key to whatever G-d wants from us.

Beyond that, I don't know that I will ever be sure about all the rest. I don't see how anyone can be sure.

ewwwwwww

I don't know what else to say about this article, besides ewww, ewww, ewwwwwwwww. For those not wanting to click, the Boston Globe published an article about public pools and fountains and diseases they carry.

Summary? Apparently if people who are ill, lets say with diarrhea, get into a public pool or fountain, they can spread the disease to anyone else who swims in the pool or fountain. And chlorine? Doesn't protect you. These illnesses are so hearty they can easily survive the chlorine. AND, they talk about how not drinking the water doesn't protect you because "Studies have shown that people who dunk their heads under water are significantly more likely to become ill because the parasites hitch a ride on lips and noses."

Ok, say it with me, EWWWWWWWW.

I tend to be a little bit germ phobic, and my friend, the pediatrician, makes fun of me often for using a paper towel to open the bathroom door. But you see, it is articles like this that drive me over the edge. Yuck.

utter stupidity

A few weeks ago I decided to start seedlings for all the plants I hope to grow this summer- hurray!

So I got out my little seed starter kit and put lots of seeds into their prospective little dirt piles. The seed starter kit is this cool little contraption in a miniature greenhouse with little dried mounds of dirt to which you add water and a seed, and voila! Miniature greenhouse with growing seeds. Then you just pick up the little mound of dirt, somehow held together into a little solid structure and plant it in the ground. I can't find the exact kit that I used, but something like this.

I have loads of seeds: basil, sage, diva cucumbers, cat grass (for the dogs), pumpkins, sunflowers, thyme, lemongrass and lots of others I can't remember right now. I spent about an hour planting them all, watering them and wishing them lots of luck in their growing endeavors.

Long story short, they are growing like crazy! It is still cold outside, but I am going to have to transplant them soon because they are too big to keep the top of the greenhouse on them anymore. And they want light light light and we don't have enough indoors, so I am begging Boston weather to improve.

One little snag, though. In my moment of sheer and utter stupidity, I started all the seeds in my little greenhouse BUT DIDN'T LABEL THEM. Now I have loads of beautiful seedlings, and no *$%@&# idea what they are. Suggestions? The hubs thinks I should just plant them outside and wait to see who sprouts cucumbers and who doesn't. But I wanted to keep the vegetables outside and the herbs inside!!! Stupid stupid stupid!!! You see what happens when you waste all your brain sells on stock purchase agreements and investors' rights?

DAMNIT!

i heart sting

Last night we went to see Sting with some friends, and geez, that man is so hot. And he is old! But hot nonetheless. My only complaint was that we bought his new album and made ourselves listen to it nonstop for the past couple of months so we would know everything he played, and then he only played old Police stuff. Not that I don't love some of that old Police stuff, but still, $15 bucks down the drain.

He did play Fields of Gold, Every Breath You Take, Sending Out an SOS, and then some old ones we didn't know.

And he played at the new Boston University arena, which isn't too big, AND they had sweet potato fries! Sweet potato fries! And Dr. Pepper! At a concert! It was like the arena people just wanted me to be happy : )

I had a hard time relaxing because of the drama at work, but by the end I was bopping along like everyone else. Now I am just dying for the weekend to get here. I need to sleep sleep sleep and just worry about nothing for a couple of days. Oh, and play with the pups. Nothing can cheer me up like my pups can. They are sure-fire mood improvers.

* I'll put up pics of the stage in Flickr in a bit! Sting rocks!

my name is halloweenlover, and I am a people pleaser

I realized something today.

I was lamenting about this crisis, which isn't really a crisis at all, but I am dramatic, to a friend of mine, and she said "I think you are having trouble with this because you are a people pleaser." And I realized that she is totally right.

I have been contemplating the rather serious decision of where to go work, because I am leaving my current employment (a secret I have not been sharing for obvious reasons), and struggling because I hate to let anyone down. When one potential employer calls, I am totally swayed in their direction. Then another calls, and I am totally swayed in the other direction.

It is r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s. I am so focused on not wanting to make people mad, or hurt their feelings, that I have a hard time concentrating on what will make ME happy. Not a good way to make decisions.

Not today, though. Today I am going to concentrate on what I think is right for me. End. of. story. But I won't lie. I feel bad. Very bad. And last night and yesterday I had about 19 moments of extreme anxiety where I was paralyzed with the fear of making the wrong decision. Today I feel a bit better although still terribly anxious at moments.

I cannot make another mistake, and that adds up to lots and lots of worrying.

my boring house to-dos

I always have lists and lists of things I want to do swirling around in my head, so I thought I should put it down on paper. Easier to manage the moolah we need to finish these projects this way too!

1. Paint trim throughout the house (ack, so much work)
2. Replace faucets in Upstairs Bathroom
3. Replace faucets in Downstairs Bathroom
4. Retile Downstairs Bathroom
5. Retile Upstairs Bathroom
6. Retile Kitchen
7. Tile the Basement (may need to move up the list since the weather is getting better)
8. Paint the risers on the stairs (make hubs buy me the sander to get it done)
9. Plant perennials in back yard and front yard
10. Paint front door red (may be soon, since weather is getting better)
11. Paint garage floor with garage floor paint
12. Repaint shutters so they are all the same color (I know, can you imagine? blech)
13. Touch up living room paint
14. Touch up dining room paint
15. Paint little room
16. Paint Basement
17. Paint ceiling basement
18. Paint laundry room
19. Reorganize basement
20. Reorganize laundry room
21. Create better storage system
22. Organize work room (set up gardening area for tools and dirt)
23. Replace bathroom knobs and tiny knobs in living room and dining room (maybe Restoration Hardware?)
24. Replace kitchen light fixtures

And then probably sell the house and move to Florida since I will be retired by the time I get all this done.

poke poke poke

For the past year and a half, my in-laws have been in the process of building a home in the Berkshires. For those of you unfamiliar with the Berkshires, it is a lovely region in western Massachusetts, filled with adorable towns and shops and vineyards and B&Bs and lots of nature. It is very cute.

Recently, it has become quite a hot bed for people who winter in one place and summer in another to move there as their summer home. As the New York Times put it, it is apparently the "new Hamptons". I doubt my in-laws chose it for that reason, because truthfully they love the Boston Pops and Lenox (in the Berkshires) is the summer home for the Boston Pops. Plus they figured that if they summered in a summery vacation spot, friends would come and visit for several days at a time and allow them to have lots of quality time. And they think it is beautiful.

2 weeks ago the house was finished, so this weekend we went up to visit and help unpack, since the movers delivered everything on Thursday. And I love it! It is a gorgeous house in a gorgeous setting that feels very homey with just the right blend of comfort and a farm-housey look. We had a very nice visit, although a little too much unpacking for me, since I am averse to work on the weekends, but regardless, it was a very nice visit.

On Saturday morning, though, we woke up and the Hubs went to take a shower in the other bedroom and bathroom on the second floor (our bedroom's bathroom isn't finished) and I wandered out into the loft area on the second floor and looked down to the first floor and listened for people noises. Nothing. The Hubs came out and as I flopped back onto the bed, I asked where everyone was. He sort of mumbled a response, but I did hear something about "taking stuff down to the dump" or some such. I think because it is a country setting there is no garbage pick-up or something like that. Anyway, I got up and walked to the other bedroom and bathroom to take a shower and after stripping off my clothes and turning on the water, I heard car sounds coming down the road. I ran into the bedroom to look out the window and saw my in-law's jeep turning the corner.

I was in a playful mood, so I ran (buck naked) down the hall and across the loft area above the first floor into the bedroom where the Hubs was getting dressed, screeching while I ran "they're coming back! They're coming back! Quick! Quick! Lets get a quick poke in before they get here!" and then I ran back (buck naked) to the bathroom across the loft and on the other side of the floor.

In mid-run (buck naked) across the (open) loft, I hear my mother-in-law calling up from the first floor (where she had been the whole time) "what is all that noise? What is going on up there?" I kind of paused in mid-run, after successfully making it behind the wall to hide the nakedness and called down some vague answer of "ohhhh, nothing, just being silly. Umm, gotta take a shower!" And ran into the bathroom.

A few minutes later the Hubs wanders into the bathroom and tells me that he knew she was there the whole time, but thought it was funny that I was running naked and screeching across the second floor. I'm soooooo glad that he got his amusement. And I would like to never speak of this moment again and thank all the gods of the universe for either not letting my mother-in-law see me naked, or for her ignoring the whole thing and not mentioning it again.

Thank you.

I think I wanna have yo baby...

One of my friends sent me this article and I was cracking up out loud in my office! (the last line is especially funny)

Many a time have I said that I would be happy to have Brad Pitt's babies if Jennifer Aniston didn't want to. I mean, I think it would be a public service to bring children that beautiful into the world. I think the Hubs would understand.

Maybe not, but DAMN. Someone should have his babies, and not someone crazy like Angelina Jolie. Crazy makes people less cute, she could spoil the babies.

So if Brad is reading this, feel free to email me and we can discuss specifics.