Thursday, July 31, 2008

keeping me busy these days?

Did I mention that a certain someone learned how to climb out of his crib?


He just wedged himself into the corner of his crib, leaned over the side and lifted his leg over the edge. Then he gently lowered himself down to the floor. All we heard was a little "thump" and then "pitter, patter, pitter, patter" and he was at his bedroom door trying to get it open.

The pediatrician was at a loss for advice. He is definitely too young emotionally to be put into a toddler bed, but of course we're terrified that he is going to injure himself on one of his exits from the cage. So far, we've been lucky. We're padding the bedroom floor around the crib, and locking the upstairs gate every night, and then hoping for the best.

I'm devastated, of course. I was hoping to keep him contained until he was 3! Now I'm hunting around for a decent toddler bed, since the move is approaching quickly. Has anyone used a crib tent? Should I even bother? What about duct tape?

Monday, July 28, 2008

I take it back

What a birthday! It's been a difficult morning and afternoon.

Gabe woke up at 4am and screamed nonstop for the whole morning until we finally accepted the idea that he was up for the day. At FOUR IN THE MORNING. Then, we had some plumbing problems so I waited 2 hours for the plumber to show up. He never did, and when I called he told me he wouldn't make it there for another 2 hours. I told him that I had an appointment and met a friend at my favorite diner for brunch. Unfortunately, it was closed and we had to pick a second choice. Of course, by then, Gabe was a disaster of a human being. Whining and crying and being generally uncooperative and unhappy. Even scrambled eggs and pancakes and toy cars and stickers couldn't cheer him up. We struggled through breakfast and finally make it home for a nap.

Sadly, I'm sitting here with the plumber while he details for me all of the terrible things that are wrong with our pipes, including the accusation that the person who did the plumbing for the kitchen did it all wrong and we'll never be able to sell the house the way it has been completed.
Hence, no nap for me, even though my head is throbbing and my eyes are burning.

AND, my friend sent me this music video, and since then I've been all weepy and melancholy about the idea that my baby is growing up. How did this happen? Why does time go by so quickly? Is this really how it happens? You blink and your babies are grown. I can't even think about it, because it breaks my heart. I want Gabe to stay my baby forever and ever and ever. Don't even get me started on the one that I'm currently gestating... I don't even want this one to come out lest it start growing up too.

So going back to my post early today, I lied. Apparently I am having a mini breakdown over this whole turning 30 thing. Hopefully, the rest of the day becomes a little cheerier!

the big fat 3-0

Today is my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I'm a bit underwhelmed. So far, I've been totally unbothered by this birthday. I did have a few hours last night where I kept reminding myself that these were my last few hours in my 20s. I'll never again be 20-something! I guess that should be more upsetting than it is, but I'm in a great place and happy to welcome in my 30th year!

Josh is wonderful as usual, Gabriel is awesome, and this cutie in the works is kicking away. It is a good day. We went on a road trip on Saturday, a date out on Sunday, a family dinner tonight, and next weekend a birthday party with friends and hopefully, a karaoke machine! It's been a good several days of celebration. I'm definitely a lucky, lucky girl.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

the good times keep rolling in

Ok, I'm feeling a little better about the whole placenta situation. There were a couple of days in there where I couldn't imagine making it until August 19th, at least not with my sanity intact. I spoke to another OB, though, and he made me feel better, and your comments DEFINITELY made me feel better. I am loving the statistics and stories you all have given me. The OB assured me that in his opinion, I have no more of a chance of losing my uterus than anyone else who has a fluke complication during childbirth. He said that my worst case scenario is having to worry about having bleeding episodes and then ending up with a c-section. As a worst case scenario, that isn't all that bad, I figure.

I'm a little more relaxed now, and I've stopped crying every time the subject comes up. I'm just going to think positive placenta moving thoughts, and maybe go for acupuncture or something and see if they know how to move placentas.

We have had some bad luck this week, though, besides the placenta news. On Friday night, as a distraction, my mom and I decided to go see Mamma Mia at a nearby movie theater. I borrowed Josh's "new to us" car for the 10 minute drive. It happened to be the first time I've borrowed his car. The drive over was fine, but as I pulled into the parking spot, the check engine light came on and smoke started pouring out of the car. At the same moment, I was engaged in a huge argument with my mom, so I didn't even notice for a few seconds that the smoke was coming from my car, and that a screaming noise was emanating from the car.

We pulled into the spot at 7pm, and by the time we were actually towed home, it was 1:30am. First, they sent the wrong kind of tow truck. Then we were advised to go buy coolant fluid before the tow truck came. Then we had to wait for a flat bed. It was exhausting. Plus, we're super annoyed that this car that we just received is already breaking down. I had it towed yesterday morning to the mechanic, and I'm just waiting for the terrible news.

To add insult to injury, my mom left on Saturday afternoon, and we drove immediately to the Berkshires to visit my in-laws. The visit was great, but on the drive home, Gabe was acting really listless and lethargic. We assumed he was just tired from his trip, but as I lifted him out of his car seat, I felt him burning up. We ended up awake all night fluctuating between a 102.5 and a 103.2 fever. He's seemed better since yesterday afternoon, but this illness combined with the Coxsackie from last week and all of this upheaval is killing me.

Bad things come in threes, supposedly, so I'm hoping we're done with bad luck since we're past three bad things. We're going on 6, at this point! Besides that, life is good, and my days are punctuated with teeny tiny little kicks coming from inside. The baby especially liked "Dancing Queen" during the movie. This baby obviously has flare for the dramatic already.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

placenta shmacenta

I always enjoy having the luxury to obsess over mundane things, rather than actual serious ones. Most of the time, I have that luxury, but sometimes something demanding of real attention pops up. Today, I had another OB appointment so that she could explain to me that as of this week's ultrasound, I have complete placenta previa. This means that my placenta is completely covering my cervix.

Apparently, there are various levels of placenta previa. Partial, marginal, low-lying, etc. Then, there's complete, where the placenta is lying perfectly over the entire cervix. Lucky me, guess which one I have.

She told me not to worry, right before she launched into a whole litany of what this entails. It increases my risk of severe bleeding, increases the risk of fetal death, increases the risk of blood transfusions, increases my risk of having to go on bed rest, and if it doesn't correct itself, we'd have to do a c-section right at 37 weeks.

The OB also said that she is confident the placenta will move. According to her, 85% of all early cases of placenta previa correct themselves, but this figure is based on all cases of placenta previa, not just the ones that are complete previa. So the fact that my placenta is completely covering my cervix might lower my chances of the placenta moving to a safer location.

I listened carefully to everything she had to say, nodded thoughtfully, and then raced to get more information from Dr. Google when I got home. Of course, Dr. Google had lots of scary things to say. Any type of bleeding would put me in the hospital, and if the bleeding couldn't be stopped, the baby would have to be delivered, regardless of fetal age. The bleeding can quickly go from nothing to majorly serious in a matter of minutes, especially if I start having contractions or dilation. Dr. Google also said that placenta previa can be a problem even after delivery, because while pitocin helps the uterus contract after a c-section and stops the bleeding from the removal of the placenta, the lower part of the uterus (where the placenta is when you have placenta previa) is not as good at contracting, so the bleeding is harder to stop. PLUS, one in ten cases of complete placenta previa also have placenta accreta, where the placenta improperly imbeds itself in the uterine wall, making it difficult to detach the placenta. This increases your risk of severe blood loss, and increases your risk of having to have a hysterectomy.

Right about there, I closed the computer and walked away.

I'm starting to believe this baby might really be trying to kill me. First, the surprise pregnancy out of the blue. Then, the crazy nausea, the migraines, the exhaustion. Now, this placenta previa and the scariness associated with it. There is a long time between now and December 19th for me to obsess about all of this.

My next ultrasound is on August 19th, and we're keeping all fingers and toes crossed that my placenta has started its gradual move. In the meantime, I'm not restricted from anything, and I'm welcoming all positive stories about placentas moving quickly and completely and then gloriously easy vaginal births. I'll also take positive placenta moving thoughts. Please.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

maybe he's mad that we're back

We're back! We arrived tan (at least Gabe and I did, Josh was sunburned as usual), relaxed, happy, well fed and rested. At least, we were rested until Gabe stopped sleeping upon our return to Boston. It started with him refusing bedtime for half an hour, then it increased to an hour, and by last night we'd spent 5 nights in a row where he wouldn't go to sleep until after 10:30pm. It has been exhausting. He acts tired, but once we put him down to sleep, we're faced with hysterical tears, and he is just one of those kids who gets more and more tense when he's crying. It would take him hours before he collapses, and we're just not willing to make him cry for hours.

I end up sitting with him for a while as he begs to be taken downstairs. Once I reach my limit, Josh comes upstairs and sits with him some more. A couple of times I've even had to go back upstairs to relieve Josh because Gabe is so upset with the state of the world. It has been tough, really, really, tough. In the middle of all of this sleeping drama, as luck would have it, I had to leave Gabe overnight for the first time ever. I flew to Atlanta to host a bridal shower for one of my closest friends from law school, and those 36 hours while I was gone were apparently hell for Josh and my mom. Gabe refused to nap, refused to sleep at night, and my mom was up with him repeatedly on Friday night.

We assumed this was a case of mommy-itis, but my return brought no relief for anyone. So today, I called the pediatrician and begged for an appointment to see if there was a physical reason for all this sleep avoidance. It turns out, according to the blisters along the back of his throat, he has Coxsackie, otherwise known as Hand, Foot, and Mouth Virus. His sleep strike may have been initiated because his throat hurt whenever he'd try to sleep. I was pretty shocked because other than the sleep problems, we've had no other symptoms. No runny nose, no coughing, no crankiness during the daytime. He has some bumps on his feet, though, and now the telltale blisters in his throat, and she is pretty sure of the diagnosis. Poor little guy!

So I dosed him up with Tylenol tonight before bed to ease his discomfort, but regardless, we were up for close to an hour and a half trying to convince him to sleep. I finally put him down in his crib, told him firmly that it was time for "noni, noni" (our word for sleep), and shut the door. He whimpered pitifully for another 30 minutes, but finally pulled his blanket over himself and went to sleep. I almost collapsed with relief. I think I'm more exhausted than he is at this point. I also realize, of course, that all these beachy pictures don't make you feel my pain, but I promise you, it is bad. Very bad. I need sympathy. Ignore the relaxed looking pictures, we're dying over here.

Besides all this sleep drama, things around here are great. Our trip was very fun, although Aruban food was more expensive than anticipated. Our resort, besides being dirt cheap, had a great location, and our one bedroom suite was poolside, with a patio that opened directly onto a kiddie pool and pool bar and grill. The resort was across the street from the beach, so we would alternate between pool and bar, depending on how strong the sun was and how lazy Josh and I were feeling. The highlight of the whole trip, of course, were the resort's golf carts. I had to physically restrain Gabe every time we walked close to one.

My nausea seems to be decreasing slightly, thank goodness, because at close to 18 weeks, I'm at my wits end to achieve some relief. The exhaustion, however, seems to be getting worse. Today, I went down the basement stairs and back up, realized I'd forgotten something, and actually thought that I wasn't physically capable of making it down and up the stairs again. I have this bone deep tiredness that makes my whole body ache and my eyes burn. What is up with this? Is it anemia? Pregnancy? Dehydration? I can't figure it out.

We had our slightly early 18 week ultrasound today, and true to our word, did not find out the sex, although I tried to spy the nether regions with no success. I don't want to know, but at the same time, I DO. I REALLY, REALLY DO. It is killing me a tiny bit, I want to know so bad. Yet, I know if I find out I'll be disappointed that I didn't wait. Hence, I hold off on the finding out. Still killing me, though. We're having a repeat ultrasound in 4 weeks, though, because the baby was a little reluctant to show off his or her kidneys and blood flow. That means I have another 4 weeks to wrestle with my decision and obsess over whether I want to know or not. Hee!

I hope your summer is going splendidly also, full of surprises and cute kids.