maybe he's mad that we're back

We're back! We arrived tan (at least Gabe and I did, Josh was sunburned as usual), relaxed, happy, well fed and rested. At least, we were rested until Gabe stopped sleeping upon our return to Boston. It started with him refusing bedtime for half an hour, then it increased to an hour, and by last night we'd spent 5 nights in a row where he wouldn't go to sleep until after 10:30pm. It has been exhausting. He acts tired, but once we put him down to sleep, we're faced with hysterical tears, and he is just one of those kids who gets more and more tense when he's crying. It would take him hours before he collapses, and we're just not willing to make him cry for hours.

I end up sitting with him for a while as he begs to be taken downstairs. Once I reach my limit, Josh comes upstairs and sits with him some more. A couple of times I've even had to go back upstairs to relieve Josh because Gabe is so upset with the state of the world. It has been tough, really, really, tough. In the middle of all of this sleeping drama, as luck would have it, I had to leave Gabe overnight for the first time ever. I flew to Atlanta to host a bridal shower for one of my closest friends from law school, and those 36 hours while I was gone were apparently hell for Josh and my mom. Gabe refused to nap, refused to sleep at night, and my mom was up with him repeatedly on Friday night.

We assumed this was a case of mommy-itis, but my return brought no relief for anyone. So today, I called the pediatrician and begged for an appointment to see if there was a physical reason for all this sleep avoidance. It turns out, according to the blisters along the back of his throat, he has Coxsackie, otherwise known as Hand, Foot, and Mouth Virus. His sleep strike may have been initiated because his throat hurt whenever he'd try to sleep. I was pretty shocked because other than the sleep problems, we've had no other symptoms. No runny nose, no coughing, no crankiness during the daytime. He has some bumps on his feet, though, and now the telltale blisters in his throat, and she is pretty sure of the diagnosis. Poor little guy!

So I dosed him up with Tylenol tonight before bed to ease his discomfort, but regardless, we were up for close to an hour and a half trying to convince him to sleep. I finally put him down in his crib, told him firmly that it was time for "noni, noni" (our word for sleep), and shut the door. He whimpered pitifully for another 30 minutes, but finally pulled his blanket over himself and went to sleep. I almost collapsed with relief. I think I'm more exhausted than he is at this point. I also realize, of course, that all these beachy pictures don't make you feel my pain, but I promise you, it is bad. Very bad. I need sympathy. Ignore the relaxed looking pictures, we're dying over here.

Besides all this sleep drama, things around here are great. Our trip was very fun, although Aruban food was more expensive than anticipated. Our resort, besides being dirt cheap, had a great location, and our one bedroom suite was poolside, with a patio that opened directly onto a kiddie pool and pool bar and grill. The resort was across the street from the beach, so we would alternate between pool and bar, depending on how strong the sun was and how lazy Josh and I were feeling. The highlight of the whole trip, of course, were the resort's golf carts. I had to physically restrain Gabe every time we walked close to one.

My nausea seems to be decreasing slightly, thank goodness, because at close to 18 weeks, I'm at my wits end to achieve some relief. The exhaustion, however, seems to be getting worse. Today, I went down the basement stairs and back up, realized I'd forgotten something, and actually thought that I wasn't physically capable of making it down and up the stairs again. I have this bone deep tiredness that makes my whole body ache and my eyes burn. What is up with this? Is it anemia? Pregnancy? Dehydration? I can't figure it out.

We had our slightly early 18 week ultrasound today, and true to our word, did not find out the sex, although I tried to spy the nether regions with no success. I don't want to know, but at the same time, I DO. I REALLY, REALLY DO. It is killing me a tiny bit, I want to know so bad. Yet, I know if I find out I'll be disappointed that I didn't wait. Hence, I hold off on the finding out. Still killing me, though. We're having a repeat ultrasound in 4 weeks, though, because the baby was a little reluctant to show off his or her kidneys and blood flow. That means I have another 4 weeks to wrestle with my decision and obsess over whether I want to know or not. Hee!

I hope your summer is going splendidly also, full of surprises and cute kids.