london!

London! London! London! I still gush when people ask me how it was because, oh, wow, you guys, it was totally worth it.

For starters, we really couldn't afford (financially) to take this trip. It was a terrible idea from a budgetary standpoint, but you know what is really expensive? A DIVORCE. So I decided to scrimp and save and pinch pennies and take every last holiday and birthday present I've received over the last 5 years and put it toward our trip. Since I stopped working four (!!!) years ago, we've cut out so many things- trips, dinners, clothing, shoes, haircuts, dry cleaning, babysitters, and anything else you can think of, and lately I've realized that there are some things we really shouldn't be cutting out.

Somehow and somewhere we need to find the money to hire a babysitter, even if it is once every couple of months, and spend a bit of time together as a couple. We need to continue to go out for pancakes every Sunday, because we've done it for 12 years and it is important. It means something to us. We need to go sit in a coffee shop and have an actual conversation without little people interrupting us or demanding our attention. We shouldn't have taken the trip, but I needed to walk with Josh, talk with Josh, hold hands with him, spend time alone. It was magical.

For starters, I was totally flexible on where we would go, as long as the tickets were a good deal, and London ended up being the best deal (although sheesh, I didn't realize the British Pound was quite THAT strong). British Airways was the airline, and we both highly recommend it.

Then, I knew I wanted to rent an apartment because we've done that before, and it's worked out well for us so far. I found a flat in Fulham, which is a suburb of London right on the "Tube" (subway) and lots of bus routes. Fulham ended up being a really cute and trendy suburb full of shops and restaurants. The flat was an entire floor of a woman's house, and we had access to a full kitchen, bedroom and private bath. Best of all, it was less than HALF the price of even cheap hotels in London. Housing is expensive in London!

The place was great, very clean and comfy and large, and the owner was very friendly and kind, and even brought up electric blankets and trays of tea when it turned out to be colder than anticipated. The only strange thing, I will admit, is the knowledge that you are in someone else's house, with the owner sleeping directly below, if you get my drift. I felt the teensiest bit awkward about the, um, romantic parts of our vacation. We had complete privacy, but still, it is weird. When we rented an apartment in Prague, we never even met the owner, and probably I'd opt for something closer to that in the future, but I can't deny that the owner was incredibly helpful and generous throughout the trip. We were a 10-15 minute bus or Tube ride into the city, depending on where we were going, and it meant I got to sit on the top floor of a double decker bus multiple times a day. Yay!

Day 1: Christmas Day
We left on an 8am flight, and remember, Josh STILL didn't know where we were going! I'd spent all of last night packing for the two of us, and stressing over forgetting something crucial. Like gloves or his jacket, or enough pants, or something like that. At one point, I made a joke about us bringing back a little "souvenir" (i.e. a baby) and naming her London, which, what the hell was I thinking because I totally thought I gave it away?! But I realized fairly quickly what I'd done and then said we might be naming our souvenir Guadalajara, or Paris, or Rome, so I made a good attempt at covering it up. No worries on the souvenir, though! I made sure of that.

Anyway, my mom drove us to the airport in the morning and I'd pre-printed our boarding passes, so we were able to go through security, get a coffee, sit in a centralized location in the terminal before I revealed we were going to London! And he claims he was surprised, so yay! I'm never doing another surprise trip again, though, because UGH, the stress!

As we took off and the plane turned over the water, I did have a moment of panicky OH MY GOD WHAT ARE WE DOING? I was leaving my babies and crossing an ocean. To another continent. For SIX days! What's done is done, though, and I told myself not to spend another minute worrying about it and just enjoy the luxury of reading a book and watching a movie and eating a meal in silence! The flight was fabulous, and Josh and I had an empty seat between us so we spread out and relaxed. We landed at Heathrow at 7:30pm, but after security and customs, we didn't get out until around 9pm, at which time I stood at the exit doors of the Heathrow arrivals terminal and stared at the signs and pinched myself thinking, holy shit. I'm totally in London.

Oh, and I should mention, we somehow, shockingly, traveled with only a carry-on, which was a freaking miracle and I still don't know how we did it. 6 days of clothing (plus extras, just in case) packed into a tiny roll-aboard, but I highly recommend it. We didn't have to worry about lost luggage or waiting for bags, and I felt like such a jet-setter with this tiny bag. Plus, we were moving around the city before and after on public transportation, so small bags made everything much easier.

I'd tried for weeks to find a flat to rent that would take us on Christmas day, but London apparently shuts down for Christmas, including the Underground and the buses, and the taxis charged exorbitant fees to get into the city, so I finally bit the bullet and got us a room at the Heathrow Hilton for the night. I was disappointed not to be seeing London that same night, but honestly, it was great. We didn't have to rush and were able to walk into the hotel within a few minutes, check in, and grab some tea and dinner before it got too late. The hotel was modern and luxurious and totally sufficient. We turned on the television and breathed in the British accents and lounged in the comfy bed, and planned our day tomorrow. We skyped the kids before going to bed, and then turned in by midnight London time (7pm Boston time) so we'd be on the right schedule. I was exhausted, but didn't sleep great that night, probably due in equal parts to the time change and the excitement.

Tomorrow, we'd finally be in London. I could have screamed in excitement!

Day two- tomorrow!

happy new year!

Anyone want a dead mouse?

Josh got home the day before we were leaving for London and saw a mouse casually making his or her way along the rails of the garage door and then ducking into a tiny hole in the wall near the ceiling. The ceiling that connects directly to my HOUSE. And I promptly freaked the fuck out.

I made him come with me at 9:50pm that night to the store to buy approximately 18,000 mouse traps, hoping beyond hope that we'd catch the mouse before we left for London. We didn't, but this morning I awoke to a bright and shining 2011, and 2 dead mice. Disgusting, and to be honest, a bit guilt-inducing because they are so tiny and cute, but still, I'm relieved. Even grosser, there was one additional trap with, ahem, a tiny little leg in the trap, but no mouse attached. Can a mouse live without a leg or should I continue with my nightmare of a three legged mouse dragging his bloody body within the walls of the house? (gag) The two mice in the traps have all four legs attached, in case you were wondering. I checked.

Josh and I were unable to stay awake for the new year festivities at midnight last night, particularly since we're still on London time and can barely keep our eyes open past 8pm. We did set our alarm for 11:55pm, though, and got up to watch the ball drop, kiss, and then head right back to bed. It was perfect.

Happy New Year to all of you! Wishing you laughter and love and good health for 2011, and rodents that stay out of your home!

just for chatty cricket

I thought of Chatty Cricket when I took this! Also when it ate my 40 pence today while I was trying to make a phone call and I called it a "stupid bugger." Just because it sounded cooler.

I'm also going to say "rubbish" from now on instead of garbage. Additionally, I shall be going to the bathroom in the loo from now on. I asked for a restroom and they looked at me like I had two heads. Oh, and a skim coffee is a skinny- don't you love it!

happy chrismukkah!

Happy Holidays everyone!

We're off tomorrow morning, well, this morning actually, and I'm proceeding to freak out over planes going down and terrorist threats and well, pretty much everything.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about all of this, but since it's my first time leaving the kids for longer than 48 hours. And definitely my first time leaving them on an overseas flight with Josh on the same plane, I am giving myself a bit of leeway to have a little breakdown. I even wrote them each letters, morbidly, just in case.

I figure if I really plan for every possibility, then it won't happen. Right? That's totally the way it works, isn't it?

Here's to a wonderful holiday season for each of you! And a happy new year too! (although I plan to update before the new year) And here is to a safe and happy trip for Josh and I! At least London has called off the snow long enough for us to arrive! Hurray! Wish us luck!

seriously Josh, go away

London! London! London!

That is pretty much what the inside of my head is looking like these days! London! London! London! I forget, and then I remember, and I'm bursting with excitement all over again.

If I manage to keep this a legitimate secret until Saturday, it'll be a freaking miracle. I was relatively safe because Josh was in Germany for his company's holiday party all this week, but still, I've already slipped on so many occasions because I want to talk about it all the time. I've already accidentally said that we are going on a non-stop flight, which totally narrows down the field. Then yesterday, he called me from Frankfurt because he was concerned his flight was going to be canceled due to snow, "Yes, I said, as a matter of fact... oh... nothing." "What?" he said. "No seriously, never mind," I insisted. "Were you going to say that the place where we're going is also closed due to snow?" he asked. "No, not at all," and then I changed the subject because that is EXACTLY what I was about to say. Ugh. Idiot.

I am very concerned about the snow situation, not because I care about being in London with snow. In fact, snow would make London more magical and beautiful, in my mind, but all London airports were closed for most of this weekend, and THAT, my friends, is alarming. I wouldn't mind being stuck in London once we're there, but I do not want to be delayed. I have pubs to be visited, changing of the guards to watch, teas to be drunk, markets to be explored, accents to be imitated.

I've rented a flat for us in an area not too far from the center of London. We rented an apartment in Prague and it worked out beautifully, so I'm trying it out again. Hopefully the apartment is as described, and the transportation is as easy as promised. I'm scouring the guidebooks for an itinerary that will work for us, and besides the must-sees, I plan on us spending lots of time people watching, relaxing, and enjoying the city.

London! London! London! Off to re-watch Notting Hill, Love Actually, and maybe The Holiday. Can I throw in any more movies set in England? Set in England at Christmas time, even better! Ack!

josh, if you're reading this, step away from the computer

I don't need to tell you that being a parent is sometimes hard. Often times, draining, even frustrating. Staying connected to your spouse can be difficult. As one of my friends keeps reminding me, "those little suckers will take it all, if you let them!" Josh and I are not immune to that strain, although we both do our best to make our relationship a priority. Still, newborns and infants and toddlers are REALLY FREAKING DEMANDING, in case you didn't know.

Florida was great, warm, exciting, and I have so many stories to tell you about Disney World, and cute children, and of course, what vacation of ours would be complete without a trip to the Emergency Room? We're working on hospital "Platinum Status." After our 10th visit, the 11th co-pay is free. While it was crazy fun, it was crazy stressful too. Remember, we went to Sarasota for 4 days, Orlando for 5 days, Sarasota for 2 days, Orlando for 2 days, Sarasota for 2 days, and Fort Lauderdale for 3 days. Oh, and except for Thanksgiving day, and the two days we spent at Disney World, Josh worked every.single.day. sometimes from 7am until 9pm at night. I was ready to tear my hair out by the end, and I think the kids are still adjusting to life at home and regular schedules.

Josh and I were bickering, a lot. Spending the little bit of time we spent together not speaking because we didn't want to continue arguing in front of my in-laws or the kids. It stunk, in many ways. By the end of the trip, I felt so exhausted by the whole situation, I started counting the hours until I was back in my house. Thankfully, THANKFULLY, things have been great since we've been home. Back in our own environment, we reverted back to our regular non-stressed selves and things are fabulous. Everyone is thrilled to be home.

But, all that bickering reminded me that we need to spend time together, sans children, just us, staying connected as a couple, enjoying each other's company. So... I asked my parents if they would watch the kids for us if I could find a deal for us to get away for a couple of days. Even better, my mom said, I'll fund the whole thing if you two will get away. And so we are.

TO LONDON!!!!

I know! I know! I'm jumping up and down over here!!!!! I've always, always, always wanted to go to London. Always, seriously, it is on my "Life List" of things to do before I die (which reminds me I need to post my incomplete list and maybe you all can give me suggestions). Anyway, I spent 2 straight days researching packages and found an impossible to refuse, ridiculously inexpensive flight to London, and so WE'RE GOING!

But shhhhhh! Josh doesn't know! I'm planning the whole thing as a surprise getaway, and all he knows is that he needs to take off of work and be ready to go. Today he told me it was "totally obvious we were going on a boat." Um, what? Apparently because I told him he couldn't work while on vacation, and that there wouldn't be wi-fi where we were going, we're going on a cruise. I guess it doesn't occur to him that I just don't want him to work while we're on a romantic vacation. Go figure.

So throw your advice at me! Have you been to London? Do you have must-see tips? Our housing isn't totally cemented, but I'm looking at the Notting Hill/Kensington area, because HELLO? I'm obsessed with the movie. Big Ben! Parliament! Double decker buses! Here we come!

on being thankful

Remember a year ago? When I admitted I hated our neighborhood and hated living here, and felt like the house was out to get me with the illnesses and the accidents and the breaking stuff? I forget, did I tell you that part? Let's pretend I didn't actually believe that. My husband, because he is a saint, told me that if I gave it a year and I was still miserable, we would move, even if it was a crazy thing to do.

Amazingly enough, just knowing that we could move in a year if I still felt awful was enough to make me feel better. Not perfect, but better. And then I gave it time, and effort, and patience, and things actually did start to get better. Gabe stopped going to school in our old town so I wasn't driving an hour every day to preschool, and I started spending time in our own community. Over the summer I walked around the neighborhood and took the kids to the park and the beach and met people and came out of my shell and made friends. I asked perfect strangers if they'd like to do a playdate or grab coffee, and with time, I found a little circle of friends. Josie and I joined a playgroup, I started a book club, I came to love our neighborhood. I came to be incredibly grateful for the move and the house and the changes we've made.

Don't get me wrong, I still occasionally go to our old neighborhood and look at the smaller houses, closer together, right on the subway line, with sushi and ice cream in walking distance, and I feel a tiny pang of sadness, but I am positive that this move was the right thing for our family. The right thing for my children, who already have so much more than I ever had in my life.

Just remind me of this the next time I sound like an ungrateful bitch, okay?

gleeked out

Did you watch Glee tonight? And if you didn't, why the heck not? Holy smokes! Glee is awesome!

Well, their final song reminds me of my all-time favorite wedding moment EVER! My BFF from law school, let's call her M, was dying to dance to Umbrella as her wedding song with her husband. He looked at her like she was a lunatic, so she told her dad about how disappointed she was. Of course, because her dad is awesome, he said, "well, then we'll do it ourselves!"

So for her father-daughter dance, they started off with a regular old slow dancing dance, and about halfway through, BUSTED A MOVE to Umbrella. None of us knew, and I am not kidding you when I say, I laughed until I cried. It was awesome, on so many levels. Not the least of which both M and her dad are unbelievable dancers. It was crazy and amazing and so much fun. Just like my wonderful friend!

Ok, now go watch tonight's episode of Glee! Love love love!

buzz better be on his best behavior

In other AMAZING news, we are leaving for Florida on Thursday! For 2.5 weeks! I know! Crazy! I am slightly concerned about the whole staying with in-laws for 2.5 weeks thing, not because I don't love my in-laws (because I do), but because staying with ANYONE for 2.5 weeks could be challenging.

For any would-be home robbers out there, Josh is staying here for a huge chunk of that time and then we have house guests for the rest, so don't even think about it.

Anyway, our schedule is psychotic for the trip. We are going to Sarasota for 3 days, then Orlando for 6 days, then back to Sarasota for 2 days, then back to Orlando for DISNEY (more on that later) for 2 days, then back to Sarasota for 3 days, then on to Fort Lauderdale for 3 days. And then home. Phew. I'm exhausted just writing that. I'm hoping for good weather and well-behaved kids. If I have the well-behaved kids part, it can rain every single freaking day for all I care.

Most exciting out of that whole trip is that rite of passage for parents and their children- Disney! I am ridiculously excited. RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED! I keep picturing Gabe's little face when he sees the castle, when he rides It's a Small World, when he sees BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! He may pee his pants. Seriously. We decided, after not much consideration at all, to leave Josie with my in-laws. I've been shocked, honestly, at the amount of flack we've gotten about that decision, when to us it was a no brainer. Josie would think it was fun, she definitely would, and you know, maybe she'd be great. But in our minds, we are going for 2 days, and trying to make the most out of those 48 hours. This means non-stop walking, rides, long and possibly hot days, and crowds. Josie won't remember, and she doesn't know characters and she is hesitant about rides. She isn't going to love it the way we KNOW Gabe is going to love it.

We never get to spend one on one time with Gabe, and I am looking forward to every little second I get to spend alone with him. I plan on inhaling that tiny little person, holding the tiny little hand, eating up every word he says. I cannot wait. He is at this perfect age where he is excited about everything, but scared of nothing. He doesn't get spooked by scary rides or pirates or ghosts, and he loves all characters, girly or boyish or in-between. It's going to be awesome.

I have my encyclopedia of Disney information, and we're going at what should be one of the best and least crowded times of the year (first week in December), and we're making all our final reservations and plans now, but I'm still looking for more advice. We've done Disney without kids before, but never before with little ones. Please do share all your tips! In return, I'll share any secrets I learn while we're away! In particular, did you have a favorite hotel that didn't cost a fortune? Also, is there a way to get cheaper park tickets? Those suckers cost a fortune!

Oh also, did anyone take preschoolers to Disney Hollywood Studios? We're considering it just because of the Toy Story ride, but I hadn't planned on it initially. Should we just do Magic Kingdom for 2 days?

am I going to start talking to myself soon too?

A couple of weeks ago, October 22nd to be exact, I found myself looking at opening night of Paranormal Activity 2 and no one to go with. I tried to convince my college roommate to go with me, since she and I go to all the scary movies, but she refused. Something about babies in the movie and her being pregnant blah blah blah. I asked around, but most people met my question with a horrified stare akin to me asking them if they ate puppies for breakfast.

So, I went alone.

It was my first solo movie ever, and I was a little nervous, but I'd recently seen this cute little video about learning to embrace being alone without being lonely, so I thought, what the hell. I'll try it.

It was, well, great! I did feel a little bit like I had leprosy, if I'm being honest, because of that whole ridiculous buffer we put between us and other people in movie theaters, so while the theater was packed, I had several empty seats around me because no one would sit next to me. And there were a couple of scary parts in the movie where I pulled my knees up to my chest and glanced around me wondering if anyone would try to kill me. And I did sprint, actually SPRINT, to my car afterward in case anyone decided to attack me. But besides that, it was great!

So great that I decided to do it again tonight. I was bummed because I mistakenly made plans to go see a musical with friends on the same day that I am throwing a baby shower. I know, DUH. I'm not entirely sure how it happened because I was the main planner of the musical outing, and went to pick up tickets at the theater and planned lunch with friends and didn't realize until today that the shower was Saturday rather than Sunday. The DATE I PICKED FOR THE SHOWER. I know, I know, I don't know how this happened either. Obviously the shower is light years more important, but still, I was seriously disappointed.

Anyway, I called Josh and told him about my foul mood and he suggested I go out tonight. Grab a coffee, go read a book, see a friend, whatever. I started to call a couple of people, and then remembered that I'd been dying to go see The Town, and figured, why not go see it alone? I got a cherry Pepsi, a popcorn with gobs of butter, and some fruit snacks. A dark theater, no one asking for anything, and it was PARADISE. A margarita would have helped, but this was pretty darn perfect.

I might be getting addicted to solo movies! It was so much fun! And since Josh hates movies, it lets me see what I want to see but then spend my friend time chatting with friends rather than sitting in a dark theater. Win win situation! The Town was good, too, in case you're wondering. I highly recommend.

life as I know it

This is going to sound crazy, but sometimes I look at my life and feel surprised. Isn't that strange?

I mean, I met this man when I was 19. He was more boy than man, if I'm telling the truth. I fell in love with him, and we did the typical dating/engagement/marriage by the time I'd turned 24. Twenty-four! And now it's been 12 years we've been together, 8 married, and I can't believe this is my life. In a few short years I will have been with him longer than I was without him, and I cannot imagine my life without him. I don't even remember what it was like without him, and that is crazy.

I wonder sometimes, how did I know? How could I have known that this boy would become this wonderful husband? This amazing partner? This loving father? I wonder how I could have known that we would get along so well, love to spend time together, have shared values, be able to make it work. Was it just luck?

Don't get me wrong, he drives me crazy sometimes. Sometimes a lot crazy. Sometimes I feel like checking into a hotel and taking a vacation from everything, but that feeling always passes and I'm back to thanking my lucky stars for this life. These beautiful children. This unbelievable friendship. This person who tells me all he wants out of life is for me to be happy. That he'll do anything to make sure we're all happy. Isn't that nuts? And I always wonder- What did I do to deserve this?

the zombie look is totally in

In a moment of pure and glorious selfishness, I decided to attend a dear friend's wedding this weekend ALONE. Totally and utterly alone, as in sans husband and children.

It was... well... FABULOUS.

The wedding was in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and I left on Thursday afternoon and returned Sunday morning. Josh's mom was kind enough to come out on Wednesday to watch the kids while Josh worked, and then he took over on Friday night and Saturday until my return on Sunday morning.

My outrageously fun law school girlfriends were there, and we had the best time. I haven't laughed that hard or that often since our ridiculously crazy girlfriend's bachelorette party in April in Vegas. Remember? The crazy bride who made me take seductive dance classes?

We did an impromptu bachelorette party on Thursday night with hibachi, a karaoke bar, a piano bar, and a dance club, and stayed out until 3am. On Friday, we had a small shower and bridal lunch, then I spent most of the day sitting by the pool overlooking the ocean, reading a book and drinking pina coladas. I know, I hate me too. We followed up with dinner, miniature golf, and then another crazy night at the Myrtle Beach dance clubs until 4:30am. That same ridiculously crazy friend from above (T), did her signature seductive dance moves up on a platform at the club, and ensured that I was LITERALLY beating all the guys off of us with a stick. I flashed my ring and told guys I was married so many times, I actually scolded her and told her to stop attracting so much attention to us.

When we returned to the hotel at 4:30am, we learned the hotel had given away our room reservation (insanity, I know), so after using our combined legal expertise, T finagled a free upgrade to a 2 bedroom suite, with a living room, kitchen, dining room, laundry room, a gigantic terrace, and even a doorbell! It was so huge, our other friends went ahead and canceled their own reservations and moved in for Saturday night.

After waking up at NOON on Saturday, we ate pancakes at a local greasy diner and then took a swim in the ocean. The water was gorgeous and warm and the sand was soft and the company was lovely. We pulled ourselves away from the beach with no time to spare to get dressed and attend our friend's wedding. It was intimate and fun and I've never seen her look happier, and we danced until we were beyond sweaty, and then I stole every last sea star and sand dollar from the decorations and brought them home with me.

The rest of the night was spent down at the tiki bar, laughing, enjoying beachy drinks, and ordering pizzas. We finally retired to our room, where we decided to stay up for the rest of the night (yes, I'm still yawning), until it was time to drive me to the airport for my 6:30am flight. We sat out on the giant terrace and talked, and talked, and TALKED about anything and everything until it was time to go. We definitely soaked up every last bit of friendship during the time we had. It was amazing.

I was, however, totally fried all day yesterday. I basically stumbled through the airports in Myrtle Beach, Washington D.C. and Boston. I fell asleep before the plane took off and woke up when it landed, and could barely stay awake during layovers. Josh and the kids were sweetly excited to see me and had planned out a fun breakfast, and I barely kept my eyes open while eating before collapsing at home for a multi-hour nap.

It is great to be home, and I did miss Josh and the kids, but man, it was so nice to get away and worry about only myself for 3 whole days. I feel so peaceful and happy and relaxed, and ready to get back to my regular life. And best of all, I feel like me. Fun, and funny, and energetic, and interesting, and refreshed. I spent 3+ years never leaving Josh or the kids, and finally taking a little bit of time for myself feels really great. And thank goodness, being home feels even better. And best of all, this weekend, my parents come to visit for the first time in 10 months! Now I just need to recover enough to finish all these house projects before they arrive!

desperately random thoughts

1. Am sick. Again. Caught a nasty virus from the kiddos and have been gooping my way through the last couple days with tissues and a bad attitude. Gabe appears to be healthy, thankfully, and Josie is slowly recuperating, although we're still up a few times per night and she is still exceedingly cranky. You know what would help? If I went to bed before midnight once in a while.

2. Was invited to a weekend away to St. John (!!I KNOW!!) by my college roommate who would pay for the hotel room and I'd only have to pitch in for my ticket. The idea of lying on a warm beach with a pina colada is enough to bring tears to my eyes, but it won't be able to happen for a number of reasons including my daughter's reluctance to take a bottle and our lack of funds. Still, I selfishly explored the possibility because HELLO, I would love a few days of relaxation. Anyway, when I told my mom about the invitation, she rather vehemently responded that, "A mother does NOT leave her children. Don't be ridiculous. When Josie is 16 you'll be sorry you ever thought about leaving her." What? Am I the only one who thinks that is a crazy comment?

3. Have discovered the show Criminal Minds and now want to become a profiler for the FBI. I am totally convinced I'd be awesome at this job, and except for having no idea how one becomes a profiler and not wanting to put myself in danger on a daily basis, would totally do it.

4. When Josh came into this marriage he folded his shirts very narrow, maybe 5 inches wide or so. I came into this marriage folding shirts very wide, maybe 12 inches or so. I have slowly converted him to my folding method over the years, but this results in problems when our mothers offer to help us with laundry because his mother folds our shirts 4 inches wide and mine folds out shirts 16 inches wide. I don't want to seem ungrateful, so I don't correct anyone, but it is annoying. Are we the only ones who have this problem?

5. Speaking of mothers, I was complaining to a decidedly nunnish friend about an incident years ago wherein my mother in law insisted on opening Josh's top nightstand drawer in search of batteries. I kept yelling at her NOT to open the drawer because, well, we keep condoms and sex, um, paraphernalia, in there, but she did it anyway and then quickly shut it again when she realized there were, indeed, no batteries in there. My friend expressed appropriate outrage on my behalf and then said, "Doesn't she know you never look in someone's top nightstand drawer? I mean, everyone keeps their vibrator in there." And then I almost died because I could never, never, ever, ever, amen, imagine this friend to have a vibrator. If it weren't for the fact that she has a child, I'd swear she was a virgin.

6. Am feeling much better about the whole moving thing, probably because I visited our new library for the first time and it is Gorgeous, with a capital G, and I was remembered at our neighborhood convenience store and greeted by name. Also, a neighbor invited me over for coffee and chocolate croissants and another brought over a bottle of wine. I could get used to this, I think.
(I also am not underestimating the power of saying (or writing) my feelings out loud and addressing them. I greatly appreciate all your advice and sympathy. I know that these days, we are incredibly lucky and I should count myself blessed.)

7. Fought with dry cleaners today because they ruined my nursery rocking chair slipcover, and after a bit of arguing and standing my ground, convinced them to pay the $300 it would cost to replace the slipcover. My hands were actually shaking because I was so stressed that they would refuse to pay the money and I'd be left without a slipcover. It reminded me once again of the question of WHY I would have chosen to go to law school when I so adamantly hate confrontation. It may end up being the great question of my life. I'm feeling very proud of myself tonight, though.

8. Any great book recommendations? I finally (after being begged by Josh) read The Hobbit (from The Lord of the Rings series) and was pleasantly surprised, although I think I'll take a break before I continue the series. I just started Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and wow. Weird. Interesting, but very very weird.

101 things (recapped)

My precursor post to starting my Happiness Project.

I read through these today, and I'm happy to report that almost all of them are still true. And thank GOODNESS, #100 didn't come true. Nothing makes me happier than these my two little monsters, that is for sure.

happy new year!

I went out! On New Year's Eve! Without children! It was cuh-razy!

My parents were supposed to leave at 2pm on December 31st, and about 2 hours before their scheduled departure a snowstorm arrived. They checked in for their flight, went through security, got to the gate and called to tell me their flight was delayed. Then they were going to miss their connection, then they were being rescheduled, then they were going to stay until January 1st instead. Gabe and I spent 4 hours in the airport waiting for them to let us know what was happening, since we didn't want to head home just to have to turn around and pick them up.

I was thrilled, though, because an extra day with my parents is an extra day! Even if we did have to spend hours in the airport and do it all again the next day. It was worth it. So like any good daughter would do, I took advantage and ditched them so Josh and I could go out. Ok, not really, my mom actually insisted because she was thrilled with the idea that we'd be able to go out and enjoy a night on the town.

We first took the kids and my parents to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook everything at your table (highly recommended for the toddler and baby crowd- they loved it), then we came home and did a mini-celebration, and once we'd gotten the little monsters into bed, we headed out.

To a club! With dancing! And champagne! And appetizers! And NO CHILDREN! I called our only childless friends and basically invited ourselves along to their plans. We ate, we drank, we danced, and then we went out for pancakes at 1am. It was awesome, and totally unlike us. We felt very young and unencumbered.

Now I need to sit down and think about what I'd like to include in my Happiness Project, which I'm going to attempt for 2010. I figure I'll keep notes on my progress here to keep myself honest. January is going to be devoted to organization and cleaning and coming up with a system to get this house less chaotic. We still have loads of boxes and pictures piled all over the place, and lots of drawers and closets still need some major help. We'll see how it goes.

I'm also crossing all fingers and toes for a healthier 2010! Down with sickness! Health ahead! Happy new year to all of you! I hope your year is happy, healthy, and full of fun!

my preshus house, indeed

Our inspection was on Thursday, and as I expected, the inspector came up with lots of little things I thought were total nonsense. It is a good thing sellers don't hang around for the inspection, because I would have spent the whole time arguing with him over every little comment. My broker was laughing as I sputtered on the phone in response to the seller's questions and gave ranting angry answers to the inspector's "issues". After one of my tirades where I told the buyers to get themselves an actual professional, like maybe a structural engineer or the like, before I would dignify their question with a response, she said, "Umm, maybe we could say it a little less, I don't know what the word is..." and I said, "Bitchy?" and she said, "Yes."

How dare that stupid inspector say anything bad about my beautiful, precious, lovely house? Bastard.

Anyway, I wrote a not so bitchy response to their list of questions and we have an agreement.

The main source of my anger was the inspector's allegation that the main beam through the house was sagging and thus needed to be braced in 2 places, evidenced by the fact that the back door was sticking. The same back door where I laid new tile down 2 months ago. Tile that was significantly higher than the existing tile, and above which the back door now has a hard time opening and closing. When the broker suggested that that was the real reason for the door sticking, he got annoyed and insisted it was the house obviously falling down around them, not the new tile. Never mind the fact that I've had 2 contractors come to talk to me about possible renovations of the basement, and each has examined the load bearing beams, and none have mentioned this supposed sagging.

MY PRECIOUS HOUSE, PEOPLE!

Regardless, I am thrilled to report that we accepted their offer, they accepted my list of answers, and now we are in a mad dash because we want to sign a purchase and sale as soon as possible. Wait, did you know my real estate attorney is supposed to draft that? Did you know I don't have a real estate attorney? Did you know I am an actual attorney so I likely should know these things? But I didn't know, and I don't have an attorney, and we're all in a big hurry to get this done because the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can start making offers on houses we might possibly find.

Our closing is on or before November 13th, which gives me (by my estimates) about a month to find a house. If I find one beforehand, we'll close sooner. If not, then we'll rent temporarily, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. I have my eye on a gigantic fixer upper in a great neighborhood. It'll take me years to finish it, but it could be perfect. If we don't kill each other over the renovations.

I'm so relieved, I cannot even tell you. At least one thing is falling into place, and now I can start moving forward. And best of all, NO MORE HOUSE SHOWINGS! Have a drink on me! WOOHOOOOOOO!

back in the saddle

I just pressed send on the fax machine for paperwork accepting another offer on the house. We've received a few offers over the last few weeks, but none of them even remotely close to anything we would accept, so I haven't even mentioned them. For the last 3 weeks, though, we've had a family with whom we've been going back and forth, and last week they sent me a lovely letter that finally pushed me over the edge. What can I say? I'm a sap! I want my beautiful happy home to go to a beautiful happy family.

Plus, frankly, I'm ready to be done with this. I'm tired of the showings, tired of the perpetual cleaning, tired of this in-between stage where I don't even want to look at preschools for next year because I have no idea where we'll live. I'm still in that same limbo stage, especially since we are looking at 5-6 different towns, all over the map of Massachusetts, but at least I am doing something. Even if that something is staring at the computer screen and willing more houses to come on the market. Sigh.

Thursday morning is the inspection, and next week is the purchase and sale. I'll be keeping fingers and toes crossed, and probably my eyes too, considering how many MLS searches I've been doing, hoping that the perfect house is going to appear on the market any day now. Annnnyyyy day now.

Please please please let this go through.

better than ice cream, definitely

I have rediscovered the library. No surprise there, I guess, since everyone is trying to save money these days. I do think it is surprising that I ever stopped going to the library, however. I am a huge lover of all things having to do with the library. I loved the feeling of being surrounded by bajillions of books. I loved to study there in law school, would do most of my work there in college, even some of my earliest memories of childhood take place in libraries.

My mom used to take me to the library in downtown San Francisco on a weekly basis, and I can remember stomping up and down the stairs in the sweeping entrance. I would climb to the top of the staircase and then slide down the smooth surface under the banisters right next to the steps. If I think hard, I can almost feel the coolness of the dim hallways, hear the way my feet would make echoes as we walked from room to room. She never gave me a limit on how many books I could take home, and I would obsess over my choices, filling up a huge bag that we would tote to the checkout.

I really love libraries.

It is different with a toddler and a baby, of course. My trips to the library are rushed and hectic, trying to manage the task of picking out books for Gabe and Josie, and then running quickly through the adult section with only 30 seconds to pick out books for myself. I hit the gold mine this week, though.

I am one of those people who cannot put down a book, even if I don't like it, even if I think it is terrible. I have to see it through, find out how it ends, give the author a chance to redeem herself. When I find a book I love, I am almost an addict. I can't stop reading; I stay up late to get through one more chapter that turns into ten more chapters. It is terrible. Sometimes I even force myself to take a break from reading and that never-ending draw of the novel on my nightstand.

This book, though. Wow. This book is so good, I don't want to stay up late reading it, I want to draw it out. I want to make it last all week rather than rush to find out how it ends. A book like this is, well, I don't know. I won't say it is better than sex, but it is close.

Tell me you've read something this good this summer, please. I'm not done yet, but I'm already feeling how disappointing it is going to be to close these pages and slide it into the library return slot.

catching up

1. Thank you so much for all the words of confidence and sympathy, and I especially thank you for not telling me how much we suck, even if you really do think we do. I've been in a fragile state of mind over this whole thing, and that might have sent me over the edge.

We've taken a step back from the whole situation and are trying to just think through this rationally and calmly. That means we are not shipping the dogs off to my parents' house, as much as we might like to, and Josh has (at least for the moment), stopped endlessly complaining about everything they do. I'm trying to come up with concrete solutions for how we can improve everyone's lives- ours and the dogs. We'll see how it goes over the next few weeks and then reevaluate.

2. Last week Gabe had a little incident where he ran into the very pointy corner of our dining room buffet with his EYEBALL. That's right, his eyeball. Talk about taking the heat off of the dogs. We had to make an emergency trip to the doctor where they dyed his eyeball and looked for corneal abrasions and checked the back of his eye and all that. It looks like he is fine, but he had a nasty laceration all along the outside of his eye socket and on the inner corner of his eye that was bleeding, plus a huge area of burst blood vessels on the actual white part of his eyeball. It was traumatic for all involved, but thank goodness he is fine. The doctor kept saying repeatedly that he was a lucky boy, and my stomach churns any time I think about the alternative.

3. My daughter has decided her one true love is power cords. POWER CORDS. I'm just going to let you mull that over so you can envision what my day looks like these days.

4. Tomorrow is my 31st birthday! ACK! 30 felt so much younger than 31 for some reason.

5. We are still showing the house and having open houses and tons of interest, but still no offers so I think we are dropping the price. Sadly. I'm too depressed about this to spend much time thinking about it, but I'm just going to hope for a good offer and try not to dwell on the question of whether or not we should have negotiated more with our first buyers. Sigh.

6. On Saturday we are leaving for the Cape for a week where my inlaws have rented a house. I am RIDICULOUSLY excited about this, although not so excited about the packing and about trying to keep the house neat during the packing. I'm a little stressed about that part, but still excited about the beach part. Also not excited about the wearing of a bathing suit part, but yes for ice cream and grandparents as babysitters and swimming.

7. How about all of your summers? Good? Great? We are having a great summer except for the less than stellar weather around here. I've come to realize that having a toddler during the summer is amazing, though. We go swimming every day, eat ice cream every day, enjoy the lazy mornings and late afternoons, and the days go by so gloriously slow and are so much fun and I am treasuring these days.

happy birthday hubs!

Ahhhh... what a great weekend.

It was my dear sweet husband's birthday on Saturday, and per his request, we did nothing big. On Friday we headed to an outdoor concert in our town. We met up with neighbors there, ate a picnic on our blanket while Josie rolled around in the grass next to us and the older kids ran screaming through the playground, and listened to the music in between chats. On Saturday we went out to breakfast,played at the park, then went out for ice cream. Josh's aunt gallantly volunteered to watch the kids for a couple of hours while we raced over to Harvard Square to eat at our favorite Indian place. On Sunday, we went over to our favorite friends' house and had the perfect summer barbecue. One of those summer barbecues that reminds you of the beauty of summer, with swing sets, popsicles, homemade cupcakes, food, laughter, and the cutest kids around. The kids were seriously delicious, playing together nicely for the whole day, making us laugh so hard our stomachs hurt.

Josh and I drove home in a contented haze, our kids passed out in their car seats behind us, holding hands over the center console and talking about what an awesome weekend it was and what great friends we have. This is the kind of weekend to make you adore summer.

The house is still on the market although we've had a couple of calls for repeat showings and we're very hopeful. Hoo boy, though, people are suspicious. I provided a list of updates we've done over the years, and people have questioned tons of them, as if we have something to hide. Hello, people, I redid the kitchen because it was a nasty old 50's kitchen! I painted the exterior because that is what you do when you are a homeowner. I painted the basement again because I want to sell the house and I want it to look good. No crazy ulterior motives here, just a regular old seller who would like to sell. If it doesn't sell in the next couple of weeks- well, let's not talk about it. Positive thinking, I say.

Our next days are full of plans for trips to the beach and pool and parks and since the house is perpetually clean for showings, all I have to worry about is laundry and planning dinner. Now I understand why people work so hard to keep their houses neat; it is such a relief to walk into a gleaming house. I'm not sure I can keep it up, but I see the allure.

As an aside, remember back in the day when people used to make radio dedications to other people? Like, "this one's for susie, I love you so much"? I sent Josh an email with this link- my version of a radio dedication to him. I don't say much about Josh on here (per his request), but seriously, besides my children, marrying him is the best thing I've ever done. I love him.

Hope your days are also full of fun and sunshine and ice cream. Those are the best days, indeed.