my preshus house, indeed

Our inspection was on Thursday, and as I expected, the inspector came up with lots of little things I thought were total nonsense. It is a good thing sellers don't hang around for the inspection, because I would have spent the whole time arguing with him over every little comment. My broker was laughing as I sputtered on the phone in response to the seller's questions and gave ranting angry answers to the inspector's "issues". After one of my tirades where I told the buyers to get themselves an actual professional, like maybe a structural engineer or the like, before I would dignify their question with a response, she said, "Umm, maybe we could say it a little less, I don't know what the word is..." and I said, "Bitchy?" and she said, "Yes."

How dare that stupid inspector say anything bad about my beautiful, precious, lovely house? Bastard.

Anyway, I wrote a not so bitchy response to their list of questions and we have an agreement.

The main source of my anger was the inspector's allegation that the main beam through the house was sagging and thus needed to be braced in 2 places, evidenced by the fact that the back door was sticking. The same back door where I laid new tile down 2 months ago. Tile that was significantly higher than the existing tile, and above which the back door now has a hard time opening and closing. When the broker suggested that that was the real reason for the door sticking, he got annoyed and insisted it was the house obviously falling down around them, not the new tile. Never mind the fact that I've had 2 contractors come to talk to me about possible renovations of the basement, and each has examined the load bearing beams, and none have mentioned this supposed sagging.

MY PRECIOUS HOUSE, PEOPLE!

Regardless, I am thrilled to report that we accepted their offer, they accepted my list of answers, and now we are in a mad dash because we want to sign a purchase and sale as soon as possible. Wait, did you know my real estate attorney is supposed to draft that? Did you know I don't have a real estate attorney? Did you know I am an actual attorney so I likely should know these things? But I didn't know, and I don't have an attorney, and we're all in a big hurry to get this done because the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can start making offers on houses we might possibly find.

Our closing is on or before November 13th, which gives me (by my estimates) about a month to find a house. If I find one beforehand, we'll close sooner. If not, then we'll rent temporarily, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. I have my eye on a gigantic fixer upper in a great neighborhood. It'll take me years to finish it, but it could be perfect. If we don't kill each other over the renovations.

I'm so relieved, I cannot even tell you. At least one thing is falling into place, and now I can start moving forward. And best of all, NO MORE HOUSE SHOWINGS! Have a drink on me! WOOHOOOOOOO!