Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense

Dear Neighbors,

That person you saw crouching in the bushes outside of your house last night was, in fact, me. And I was not "casing your joint", exciting though that may sound.

I was actually trying to pick up after my dog, Tango, who decided to take a shit in your bushes, as far from a lamp post as possible so that my only option for finding said piece of shit was to look for a heat source.

I would have just left the shit in your bushes, but I would hate for someone to step in it and then begin to hate dogs, because well, I love dogs.

Thank you, though, for shining your front spotlight on me and glaring at me through the window. I appreciate the fact that you are taking care of the neighborhood in your own little "neighborhood watch program." And in the future, I will try not to crawl through your bushes again.

Best Wishes,
Halloweenlover