Thursday, August 25, 2005

how about a leather whip?

Three years ago today I stood up on the bed in my hotel room and flung open the heavy curtains. After a full week of thunderstorms and terrible forecasts, my mother, my bridesmaids and I cheered at the sight of blue skies and puffy white clouds.

That day turned out to be the best day of my life, as well as one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Before we got married I used to worry, quite a bit, about losing my identity by marrying Josh. I had these fears of being suffocated. I hated the idea of not being ME anymore and I cringed at being called HIS fiancee or HIS wife. Call it craziness, call it typical cold feet, whatever it was, it scared me to death. One night I threatened to call off the wedding because he wouldn't change his last name to mine even though everyone expected me to change my last name to his. Another time when friends assumed I was busy with Josh and didn't invite me out to a party, I lay in bed and sobbed over my loss of independence.

I think Josh was at a loss for what to do with me. My fears had little to do with him, and if I had been able to think logically, I would have realized that he didn't want me to change and would have been disappointed if my personality had been subsumed into his. Someone finally took pity on me and gave me a book called What No One Tells the Bride. I tell people that book saved my life by making me feel like I wasn't alone, but truthfully, I think it took time and seeing how my life changed or didn't change with marriage.

When I look back at my tearful demands, I wish someone had told me that I might get mad at Josh for his anal-retentive neatness, but I might also find great joy and support by letting go of my fears. That first year was rather, ummm, hard, as I've mentioned before. But not a day has gone by that I haven't felt incredibly lucky to have found my partner so early in life.

I sometimes can't believe that it has been three years already, but I also can't believe that I get to spend so many more years with this wonderful man. He makes me crack up daily (sometimes hourly) by how silly he can be, and he laughs at my jokes too!** He shares many of my likes and dislikes and is willing to try new things with me all the time. He forgives me easily when I lose my temper. He grounds me when I begin to feel anxious or stressed. His kindness takes my breath away.

Sometimes I look at him and the love feels like it might crush me. Well, the love and his hotness. : )

Marrying him gave me so much more than I ever imagined it would and I wish I could go back and tell myself how blissful my life would be if I'd just stop worrying.

Happy Anniversary Hubs! You are the best thing that ever happened to me!



** But no, I don't care if this is the leather anniversary, I'm NOT buying a leather whip.

29 comments:

Chatty Cricket said...

Seriously, this is the leather anniversary?

Yaaaay!! Three years of happy wedded bliss! Three cheers for Josh and HL!!

Running2Ks said...

Your title just drew me in. The picture is beautiful--you are just the most lovely couple!

Marriage is where 1+1=3. Neither of you is half--both of you are a whole, joining together to make a 3rd entity.

Congratulations!!!!

liz said...

What a beautiful post and such a gorgeous picture!

Happy Anniversary.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Aw, happy anniversary to the two of you!

Leather anniversary? Does that mean you each get to buy an expensive pair of shoes and drink champagne out of them?

halloweenlover said...

I proposed a Coach bag, you know, in leather, because then I could look at it every day and think of him. Since he suggested the whip, I'm thinking the answer was no.

Yankee T said...

Congratulations! Y'all are just.too.cute! And how nice that you found each other. I'm happy, happy for both of you! (How about a new wallet filled with $100's?)
Here's to 3X33!

HipMamaB said...

I agree - buy yourself a bag o shoes for your "leather anniversary" - last year, for the "linen" celebration I bought myself a pair of juicy linen pants!Voila! :)

Happy Anniversary and I LOVE your boquet!

amygeekgrl said...

congratulations. beautiful picture!! :)

btw, tag. ;)
http://crunchydomesticgoddess.blogspot.com/2005/08/tagged-again-new-meme.html

ccw said...

Come on now, a little whip won't hurt you! Only kidding.

Happy Anniversary! I think a nice purse or shoes would be a great leather gift.

Your picture is beautiful!

zeebah said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!! And many more... you both look gorgeous in that picture!

Songbird said...

A very Happy Anniversary to both of you!

Scrivener said...

Happy anniversary!

But I think you attached your footnote one sentence too early--it should have come right after the phrase "willing to try new things with me all the time," no?

I wonder how many times that leather whip joke has been made?

Kris said...

Great post, and happy anniversary!

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

I'm raising a glass to the gorgeous couple! Congrats!

Pink Cupcake said...

Belated Congrats! And what a great post, I totally relate to the sentiments you expressed. Here's to many more wonderful anniversaries... :)

corndog said...

Happy Anniversary, you crazy kids!

Chris said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

What a stunning couple you two are. I love your wedding photo.

How about this? My husband just ordered new checks and put *his* last name for mine. WTF?? Have we not been married over 11 years? But I was so irrationally mad, slamming the checkbook down, refusing to use it. Which is ridiculous in light of the fact that I frequently call myself by his last name just because it is easier with the kids.

So yeah, all this to say sometimes the craziness doesn't stop with the wedding ;-)

KLee said...

Happy 3rd Anniversary! (Time sure does fly, doesn't it?)

Who says you won't need that leather whip? Josh might enjoy that. And, if he doesn't enjoy it, you can use it to keep him in line when his anal neatness freak kicks in!

(Love the picture, btw!)

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Honey Bunny said...

happy anniversary! and between you and me, i'm going through that same thing right now. our wedding is in 1 month, 2 weeks, and 4 days...not that i'm counting or anything! sometimes i feel like my hubs-to-be is all i've got and that scares me. i know it's not true, but we spend so much time together that it seems like we've got no friends.

sorry, i'm just stressed out and frazzled. happy anniversary to the two of you. you look gorgeous!

Honey Bunny said...

oh, yeah...you can borrow our whips if you don't want to buy your own ;)

Ninotchka said...

Aww, what a sweet entry. You make such a beautiful couple.

Happy Anniversary you two!

And many more...

Jessica said...

Happy anniversary, anniversary buddy.
It's nice to meet you!
Jessica

Bryan said...

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Piece of Work said...

Yay, a photo! Happy Anniversary!

peripateticpolarbear said...

beautiful couple. beautiful post.

halloweenlover said...

You all are SOOOOO SWEET!

Thanks for the good wishes! We had a great anniversary weekend although we still haven't chosen our leather gift. I'll keep you updated on the selections : )

Rana said...

A belated happy anniversary! _Such_ a lovely couple! :)

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