Sunday, November 08, 2009

like college, only more stressful

Back to the preschool drama for a moment, if you all don't mind.

No, nothing new has happened, but I've been surprised at how many of you think I should switch him from this toddler program. In theory, I'd love to grab him and run since I have a burning hatred of confrontation, but I also have been feeling guilty because I can't teach him that running away is the right answer to a problem.

Yes, I'm upset, and yes, I think the director acted inappropriately, and yes, I'm uncomfortable with what may be taking place going forward. I am relatively confident, however, that his teachers are okay with Gabe. They said repeatedly that his behavior is typical for a 2 year 10 month old, and every day when I come they are adamant that he had a great day. He seems happy with the program and I've been inquiring more often lately about whether he likes his teachers, does he have friends, what does he do, how does he feel. I'm treading lightly here, since I don't want to give him a complex, but I also want to make sure I am actually hearing what is going on.

We aren't moving far away from our current town, just a few miles down the road. It will be a bit of a trek to keep him here at his school, but I think continuity is probably a good thing with all of these other changes. The drive will probably be 20-25 minutes in traffic, as opposed to 5-10 where we are now. Not ideal, but doable.

I'm going to think about other schools, in the meantime, and once we've made the move and I've seen what is going on at the toddler program over the next few weeks, I can always make a switch after the holidays, if it seems warranted. What do you think about that plan? Any thoughts?


Maribeth said...

If you think that waiting until after the holidays is good, then by all means do it then.
I do not look at this as running away. And please don't you do that either.
There is a boy in Miami who was picked on by his teachers to the point that she actually turned the classroom into a torture chamber and had the other kids vote him out of the class. It was sort of like Survivor! Anyway the kid was failing until the mother pulled him out of the school and put him into a private school. Now the kid is getting all A's and is happy!
There are people who, for whatever reason, pick on certain kids. Just be careful.

Chatty Cricket said...

I think a knee jerk reaction is probably never the way to go.

However I totally agree with Maribeth that IF you decide that this is not the program for Gabe, then you should feel confident about that decision and not look at it as running away. I don't know for sure if the director might be picking on Gabe, but as a Mom and as someone who knows Gabe in real life, I feel like maybe she is. She just seems hell bent on labeling Gabe as a "problem" when it seems as though that distinction is totally unwarranted.

You're Gabe's mother, and you need to do what is best for your child. Gabe is young enough that he probably won't even understand that you left because there was a problem. As far as he knows, maybe he was only at the school for the first half of the year anyway?

Stacy said...

I totally agree to the move after the holidays, i said in my other post that it would be a good natural transitiion time.

Whether you would acutally have time between now and then to research may be another thing though.

Best of Luck!

liz said...

Listen to your instincts. We took MM out of Daycare #1 when, after numerous discussions over their safety lapses, there was a doozy right in front of us. (after nearly 4 years in the same place)

Daycare #2? One strike (and it was a WHOPPER) and we were out of there.

Daycare #3 is posh place where we are still happy with their after-school program.