always looking forward

My mother in law is coming this afternoon to help and I may fling myself at her feet in gratitude when she walks in the door. I'll be doing the packing, but she has agreed to watch the children and also to patch up all the holes left by paintings and drapery rods. I also talked her into raking all the leaves that we are never going to have time to rake before the move on Thursday.

This is crazy! We're so close!

I took a book out of the library for Gabe about moving called "Goodbye, Hello" and it tells the story of a little girl's move from her old apartment into a new house. I sat down and was reading it to him while the little girl said goodbye to her old room and her old walls and her old friends and her old neighborhood and on and on, and then she moves and is very sad.

Gabe was paying attention, but really could have cared less because all he can talk about is his new playroom and his new room and his new big rock in the front yard and the swing set I promised him. Anyway, I'm reading through all the goodbyes and then... I started BAWLING. I'm totally crying through the book and trying to hide it and Gabe is looking at me like, what is your problem lady?

It turns out that amidst all of this excitement is a lot of sadness too. I can't wait to move, but this is the house where I brought home my babies! This was my first home with Josh! Gabe and Josie both took their first steps here! I love it! It is a lovely, wonderful, happy home, and I'll be so sad to leave it. I'm consoled by the fact that my friends have told me that once I move, I'll never look back, but still. For now, I'm sad.

So I'll be putting the "Goodbye, Hello" book away for now, not because of Gabe, but because clearly it is too traumatizing for ME. He's not the looking back type anyway, like soooo many other moments in life, Gabe is ready before I am.