Monday, March 14, 2005

The People's Wil' Out Award

It is time to present a new People's Wil' Out Award. I know it has been a while, but I've been struggling with the most deserving winner. There have been several candidates running around, but a couple of weeks ago the hubs and I went out to dinner and a musical and the front-runner became clear.

In case you have forgotten, the Wil' Out Award is presented to those everyday people who go beyond normal and acceptable behavior and run around the room screaming and shitting in the corners. Otherwise known as a Wild Out Award, but pronounced Wil' Out.

I am happy to present today's Wil' Out Award to:
Andrew Lloyd Webber for his writing in CATS, the musical.

Seriously, what the f%*@ was up with Cats?

Let me spell out my reasons for you:
1. Grown up humans dressed up as mangy cats.
2. These mangy cats are called Jellicle cats?!?
3. Jellicle cats are f#$%ed up cats that sing and dance (and fight) in some strange alley way.
4. The songs suck.
5. There is a stud muffin cat called Rum Tum Tugger, and all the female Jellicle cats want him.
6. Rum Tum Tugger appears to be a cat form of Elvis.
7. The leader of the Jellicle cats is some odd fat cat called Old Deuteronomy.
8. Old Deuteronomy gets to pick one Jellicle cat to be reborn.
9. Old Deuteronomy gets kidnapped for no apparent reason and is then saved by another cat (that has not been a part of the play until then) called Magical Mister Mistoffelees.
10. "Being reborn" apparently means being taken away in a spaceship.
11. Jellicle cat leaves the stage in a spaceship.
12. One more time, repeat after me... A SPACESHIP. Flashing lights, comes down from the sky, picks up the cat, carries her off into the sky.
13. I paid $85 a ticket to see this shit.
14. Nobody stopped me.

In case you doubt me, I actually saw the real touring group of Cats at the Wang Center in Boston. Reputable. This is actually the plot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, based off of some of T.S. Elliot's poems. To be fair, a select few of the songs were pretty good. And the dancing was very cat-like. And if you want to take your children under 14 to see it, that wouldn't be a bad idea.

I cannot quite come to grips with the fact that Andrew Lloyd Webber could write this, though. Honestly, what kinds of drugs must he have been taking? Cats and spaceships is all I have to say.

I admit that I am normally a fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber. I even like going to most musicals. My standards aren't even that high! If I am entertained, I am generally positive about it. In this case, however, the hubs and I were left open-mouthed throughout the 3 hours. We almost left at intermission because we were so confused about the plot. Thank goodness we didn't, because then, of course, we would have missed the spaceship.

And Cats, my friends, is all about the Jellicle cat being taken away in the spaceship. Apparently because Jellicles can and Jellicles do.

'Nuff said.

Congrats Andrew! You crazy wiler!


YG&B said...

okay. these are the same people who walked out of "movin' out" in a huff. i don't know what to tell you about their musical tastes (though we did enjoy "rent" together). "Cats" was great! Admittedly, I saw it as a child, but still the story of rebirth (ignore the spaceship, it's a SYMBOL) and the redemption of a cat who had lost her way (grizzabella, who sings "memory") is inspirational. besides, the actors really do look and act like cats! you can tell that griffyslave is a dog lover and apparently, a cat hater! but i loved Cats. I still have the complete soundtrack--"jellicle cats come out tonight, jellicle cats come one, come all! the jellicle moon is shining bright, jellicles come to the jellicle ball!"

halloweenlover said...

Yes, Moving out stunk too. Don't believe this crazy girl. She is a sucker for all musicals and broadway shows. She spends her free time acting them out in her living room. Loca, I tell you.