A traveling one, that is.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I was traveling to visit the parents with Gabriel and both dogs, baby on my lap and dogs as carry-on. I was slightly concerned about how I would manage to fly with all three of my boys. It did feel a little circus-like, I admit.

I pushed Gabe in his stroller with the diaper bag hanging at one end and carried the dogs in a bag. When it came time to go onto the plane, I'd switch Gabe to the sling, pack the dogs into the stroller, then get to the end of the walkway, take the dogs out of the stroller and try to break down the stroller with Gabe hanging from my mid-section. I hit him a couple of times in the head with the handles of the stroller, unfortunately. Once I had the stroller broken down, I'd carry everyone onto the plane, slide the dogs under the seat, try to shove my diaper bag under there also, and then juggle Gabe in the never-ending minutes until the plane took off. I thought that was the hardest part, keeping him happy until the plane finally took off. I stood him up, sat him down, sang to him, made him look over my shoulder, out the window, at his blanket, and so on and so on until I could finally feed him close to take-off.

All my worry ended up being for nothing, though, because he slept for both flights. First from Boston to Atlanta, and then Atlanta to San Francisco. He hardly made a peep on both flights, and the dogs were also model citizens. I was terribly relieved.

Since then, our trip has been fun and fairly uneventful. We had some mishaps with the time change with Gabriel waking up at 6am for the first couple of days, but we're fine now. He also seems a bit out of sorts when we go out too much, so I've had to curtail activities, but that doesn't bother me. Other than that, we are having a great time.

Gabriel is changing by the day, which is almost scary. It has been almost 2 weeks since Josh saw him since he went to Russia for a school trip (hence the reason for our visit to California without him). I think Josh is going to find a completely different baby in his place when he picks us up from the airport. Gabe is cooing and laughing and interacting 100 times more than he was before. I've taken tons of pictures, and I can't wait to share them with you once we are home and I can connect to the computer.

My biggest problem is that I have had a touch of insomnia since I've been here, and I end up staying awake until 2am or later and then of course Gabriel wakes up around 4am and I feel like I'm not sleeping enough. I'm looking forward to climbing into my own bed with Josh and getting back to a regular routine. I'm also looking forward to a house that doesn't have a dial-up internet connection. Ick. Hope you are all well!

in the eternal quest for more fiber

Since being pregnant, my quest for enough fiber has been a never-ending one, as I'm sure you all can relate.

I have to share my newest discovery... Fiber One's Granola Bars. Seriously, I cannot stop talking about these granola bars because they are sooo delicious, and the best part is that they have 35% of your daily fiber. 35%!!! Do you know how many vegetables I have to eat in order to get to 35% of my fiber?!

I have never had tastier granola bars than these, and I tried both flavors- Oats and Chocolate and Peanut Butter, and both were fantastic. I thought that maybe I was crazy because I loved these bars so much, but I ran them by both Josh and my parents, and all agreed that they are sweet and yummy. More like a candy bar, than a granola bar. I even made my mom take me straight to the grocery store in California to pick some up, because I love taking a short break in the afternoon with one of the granola bars and a cup of decaf coffee as a quick pick-me-up.

The funniest thing is that I googled the granola bars to see where I could find them here in California, and there were tons of blog posts about them, so I'm not the only convert.

I'd definitely give them a try if you are also in the hunt for fiber, and if you don't like them, send them my way!

on the boobs

As a woman whose breasts normally lean on the smaller side, I'd always made jokes about wishing for big boobs. Although I'd never go the plastic surgery route, I thought that "bodacious tatas" (as coined by Liz) wouldn't be bad.

Now that I've graduated into this new world of humongous breasts (leaning on the D side of things), all I can think is HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO IT?

Nothing fits. Nothing. Not one of my old shirts fits me now. All the stores that used to work for me don't anymore, because their shirts are too short with the breasts in the way. If I move to the bigger sizes, then the whole shirt swims on me. So I'm still wearing maternity tops, or at least those maternity tops that don't have a huge amount of belly space in them, of which I have a few. I'm remembering fondly my perfectly respectable B cups.

But seriously, where do larger breasted women shop? Gap doesn't seem to work, neither did Ann Taylor. Am I shopping at the wrong places? Or maybe I'm gravitating toward tops that would have fit my smaller bust and now hang all wrong. HELP!

exhausted, and more exhausted

Things are a little bit better, thankfully. I've been making a concerted effort to get out of the house, even for just a few minutes every day, and Gabriel gave me a couple of nights of 6 hour sleep- wooohooo! But it was last weekend. Since then, he's had some of his worst nights of sleep ever, though, go figure. I'm exhausted. He is getting up every 2 hours or so, and refusing to take any naps at all during the day. Saying that I'm very tired feels like an understatement.

Just to show you how crazy Red Sox fans are... Someone sent us a Red Sox sleeper when Gabriel was born, and last weekend we decided to put him in it, got him ready for bed, and glory of all glories, he slept 6 hours. So we thought what any logical parent would think- it was clearly the Red Sox sleeper. The next night, we recreated conditions. Put him in the sleeper, wrapped him up, and he slept 6 hours again! We were singing from the rooftops our praises for the Red Sox!

Then he spit up on the sleeper. I warned Josh that we needed to wash the pajama and get it back on him before the next night, but of course we didn't. He was up every 2 hours throughout the night. Clearly, because he wasn't wearing the Red Sox paraphernalia. Since then, I have made sure that the stinking Red Sox pajama is clean and available for him to wear, but has he slept longer then 4 hours at a stretch? Of course not!

A sleepless baby wasn't enough either. The dogs wanted in on the action, and have apparently just realized that the baby is REALLY not leaving after 10 weeks. So the other day, they pooped on the bathroom rug. I washed the rug and put down a towel in the meantime. They peed on the towel. I started shutting the bathroom door. They peed on Gabriel's beautiful bedroom rug. I went out for a walk, they climbed on the coffee table, stole Gabriel's toy and shredded it throughout the living and dining room. They are also stealing baby socks and articles of clothing. I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind!

I called my veterinarian yesterday because I simply cannot deal with this. If the dogs had acted up when the baby first came home, it would have been one thing, but two and half months later, I'm lacking in sympathy for them. They are incredibly pushy and demanding all the time, and we give them quite a bit of attention and treats and rotate their toys, but it is never enough. If anyone has advice or has been through this, please do share. I'm hoping that an improvement in the weather might help because I can take them on some walks to get rid of excess energy.

Lastly, I'm packing for Gabriel and my first trip, we are off to California. I am traveling on my own with Gabriel, Tango and Murray. I don't know whether I'm daring or insane. Maybe a little of both. Any tips on flying with a newborn are much appreciated also. Hope you are all enjoying some Spring-like weather too!

funkity funk

Lest you think it is all sunshine and roses around here, I can definitely burst your bubble on that one.

After his shots on Wednesday, Gabriel was in a bad, cranky, no good, awful mood for the next 3 days. We couldn't figure out if it was because he was fatigued from the shots, whether his little thighs were achy, or some combination of those plus more, but he was NOT HAPPY.

On Friday night, I woke up with him at 12:30am, 2:30am, 4:30am, 6:30am, 7am, 8am, and then finally 9am for the day. It was a bad, cranky, no good, awful day. On my part that is, Gabe was in a fine mood once he was up for the day. Then on Saturday he blessed us with a 6 hour stretch, his first ever, and I woke up on Sunday morning feeling like a new woman. Oh, the sleep, it is good.

I was so excited that I let myself believe that perhaps we were moving into a new era of 6 hour stretches, so on Sunday night he scoffed at me and was wide awake from 4:30am to 7:30am, also his first time ever. It was exhausting. At least his mood has improved since the days following the shots, and I am incredibly grateful.

His mommy, however, is fighting a case of the funks. I am feeling funky, and a bit down these days. I'm attributing it to a few things, like the weather, the lack of consistent sleep, the fact that none of my clothes fit me, the hormones from breastfeeding, and mostly, from the fact that Josh got back from his first trip away from us. I didn't share the fact that we were alone, for obvious reasons, but Gabriel and I had our first stretch of 4 days on our own last week. It was lonely. Very, very lonely. Especially at night and in the mornings, when I had no choice but to be alone. During the day, I kept our schedule jam packed with outings with friends, but we were on our own at night and I definitely felt it. By the time Josh got back, I realized that I had definitely fallen into a case of the baby blues.

It is mind-boggling how you can have everything you've ever wanted, be happier than you've ever been, and still find yourself feeling sad with no explanation.

Anyway, I'm working to pull myself out of the funk and keeping busy. Gabe and I are traveling to visit my parents soon, and I'm definitely looking forward to that. On Saturday, the three of us took a day trip to Newport, Rhode Island, to enjoy the warmish weather and get some fresh air. It was good for my soul.

So is this, of course. This is always good for the soul.

2 months old

Dear Gabriel,

You are two months old today, and I feel like a broken record when I say that I can't believe how much I love you. No matter how tired I am, or how gloomy the weather seems, waking up to find you smiling up from your bassinet feels like the start of the best day of my life.

















I said to your daddy yesterday that I think you've finally arrived. My little newborn who seemed blissfully unaware of his surroundings is gone, and in his place there is a smiling, cooing, active baby. You are constantly looking to see what is going on, and you often whip your head around while feeding if you hear a noise or someone is talking. You will stay awake for long periods of time observing the scene, or listening to the conversations. At lunch the other day, people commented that you looked more like a 3 or 4 month old because you seem so aware of the world around you. You smile at me more and more, and will stop in the middle of feeding to look up at me with your big eyes and give me a huge gummy grin. You melt my heart.


















You are still an exceptionally happy boy and it is such a pleasure to spend my days with you. You love music, and as soon as we start singing, you become completely enraptured with us. You even seem as if you are trying to sing along and will coo and gurgle while gazing intently at our faces. Your Bubbi and Saba came to visit last week and Bubbi made up song after song for you, just to see your adorable smiles.












Last weekend, your daddy left us alone for the first time while he went to a soccer tournament in Texas. I was terrified of how I would take care of the two of us for four whole days with no help, but we had a wonderful time. Although I know that we both missed him, we were able to spend lots of time snuggling and playing and exploring the house together. It is lovely to see how much you know me, and when I pop my head over the edge of your bassinet after a nap, you greet me with the sweetest smiles. The smiles start at the corner of your mouth, your dimple appears in your right cheek, and it slowly spreads up your face until the corners of your eyes crinkle in delight. You clasp your hands together and duck your head to one side, almost as if you are embarrassed at how happy you are to see me. Your little arms and legs wave around until I pick you up to smother you with kisses. I will never forget how wonderful this feels.

















Today was your 2 month doctor's appointments, and the nurse couldn't stop exclaiming over how sweet you are. You tipped the scales at a whopping 12 pounds, 8 ounces, and showed off your head control by pushing yourself up with your arms to admire yourself in the mirror beside the exam table. While we were talking with the nurse, you lay happily on the table talking to yourself in the mirror, squealing and even letting out a couple of giggles. You barely protested at her prodding during the exam, and only cried when you got your first three vaccines. You were so indignant and angry when they stuck you, and it broke my heart to hear you cry. Once I was allowed to pick you up, though, you stopped crying almost instantly, but the sight of your little face crumpling was terribly sad. It is so hard to see you hurting, and I know it doesn't get easier with time.

[2 month picture coming once the crankiness has faded a bit]

Over the last month you have grown out of all your newborn outfits, and almost all of your 0-3 month clothing, and it pains me to see you growing so quickly. Up until now, I've been dreading the time passing. I've wanted you to stay my sweet newborn. But as the days go by and I see you becoming sweeter and more animated and fun by the minute, I realize that every day with you will better than the last.

We love you so very much, and we feel so very lucky to be your parents. Happy two months baby!

Love,
Mommy

my life has become a cliché

Thankfully, breastfeeding is going swimmingly, except for one thing- pumping. I hate pumping. The pump is my nemesis, and it is made all the worse because I am committed to pumping bottles of milk for freezer storage every day, and I also try to pump enough for Josh to give Gabe a bottle every other day or so.

So yesterday, when I pulled the bottles of pumped milk out of the fridge and accidentally tipped
them to one side so that over an ounce poured onto the kitchen floor, I felt tears prick my eyes. It was so frustrating to see my hard work lost in a stupid accident.

Which means what you think it means. I actually cried over spilled milk.

I think I may need more sleep.




My milk! She spilled my milk!

public service announcement for new moms

I told Gabriel that it's about time that he starts making a living around here, we're not running a free joint. So Gabriel and I have been hard at work for the past couple of weeks reviewing a product from the Parent Bloggers Network- the Burpcatcher. The Parent Bloggers Network reviews all kinds of kid and parent appropriate products through blogging. I've been looking at their products for a while now and have found tons of items that are interesting, so check it out if you have a minute!

If this is your first visit to the Halloweenlover household, welcome! I'm a new mom to an 8 week old baby boy (Gabriel), on maternity leave from my law firm in Boston, married to a business school student (Josh) who is currently knee deep in his post-graduation job search, and living with our two adorable pooches.

I have to admit that many things about being a new mom were a surprise to me- the explosive and leaky diapers, the socks that constantly slip off, the dry skin (for both of us), and definitely, DEFINITELY, the spit-up. My mom never mentioned the spit-up and my niece and nephew never seemed to do it, at least when I was around, so I was wholly unprepared for the prolific, ahem, liquid that could appear without warning. So when the Parent Bloggers Network asked me to review the Burpcatcher, I was psyched!

Funnily enough, I'd just seen an advertisement for the Burpcatcher when I received the email from PBN. The Burpcatcher is just like a regular burp cloth, but with a pocket at one end. Once you place the Burpcatcher over your shoulder or arm, the pocket automatically hangs open, and stays open, to catch any spit-up that might ensue from a burping session. The Burpcatcher comes in a couple of options, both costing $9.99. You can either purchase a package of two flannel Burpcatchers with a ribbon lining in pink, blue or green, or one fleece Burpcatcher also coming in pink, blue or green. Gabe was a little disappointed to receive his sample Burpcatcher in pink, but after some convincing he agreed to try it out anyway.





See? Doesn't he look a little moody about the pinkness?







The Burpcatcher is the first burp cloth to include a pocket that catches spit-up rather than letting it run down your back, or over your arm and onto the rest of your clothing.
The hardest part about using the Burpcatcher, is to remember to pick it up every time you go to burp your baby, or if you know that you are approaching a fussy time that often includes spit-up. In our case, Gabe doesn't consistently spit-up so I occasionally risk it and leave off the burp cloth, but since I was trying the product I made an effort to use it constantly and it certainly worked.

We've found over the last 2 months that regular burp cloths aren't absorbent enough, so for the most part we stick with cloth diapers. I was happy to find that the flannel fabric was just as absorbent as the cloth diapers we've been using and caught most of the spit-up before it reached the pocket, but the pocket did save my sweater a couple of times. We also draped it over the boppy and leaned him onto the boppy for some modified tummy time. It caught some unanticipated spit-up then too. I even brought it to my new mommy's group to see what some of the other mothers thought, and those of us that have experienced the spit-up agreed that it would have been a great gift. The colors are simple enough to go with anyone's style. It would be a cute shower gift if you were in the market for gifts.

Now if only Burpcatcher could come up with a burping bib with a pocket too, for those spit-up episodes when I'm sitting Gabe up in front of me for a chat!

All in all, I was definitely pleased with these burp cloths and found them easy to use and pretty cute. One of the other reviewers mentioned that in her dryer the Burpcatchers were the last things to dry, but I didn't have that experience, although now I'm wondering if maybe I'm overdrying my clothes! I'd definitely recommend them to a new mom or anyone looking for a baby gift.

sweet chubby thighs

Next Wednesday is Gabriel's 2 month doctor's appointment, which means that an unfortunate thing is on the horizon- shots. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to it. In fact, I'm trying to talk myself into not crying in the doctor's office.

Does anyone have any advice on how to make him feel better in advance or afterward? My doctor said not to bother with the tylenol, but I'm tempted to give it to him anyway. Thoughts?




At least he has enough meat on his thighs...

napping is for the birds

We are going through a slightly fussy stage, right on time for the 8 week developmental spurt that Wonder Weeks talks about. Gabriel is fine at night, thankfully, but refuses to nap in the daytime. REFUSES. He will fall asleep breastfeeding or in my arms, but as soon as I attempt to put him down, he is wide awake with that look on his face that says, "Who? Me? I wasn't sleeping!"

This is the third day in a row that he goes without any type of lengthy nap, even though I make a valiant effort to get him to sleep. Have you ever heard of a 7 week old that doesn't sleep allll day? It makes for lots of singing and dancing and walks and sitting in the bouncy seat and looking out the window. If you have ideas for entertaining almost 8 week olds, please pass them along. I thank my lucky stars that he is still sleeping well at night, 5 hours in a row and then 3 hours and 3 hours, with only a brief wake-up to eat in between.

We have had our fair share of excitement around here, when my father in law slipped on the ice in our driveway on Thursday, landing flat on his back and slamming his head onto the concrete. Turns out that he broke 5 ribs, two of them compound fractures, and had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. We were terribly upset about his fall and subsequent stay in the hospital, but we were also terrified because he fell on the side where he has his remaining kidney (he lost the other one to cancer a few years ago). Thankfully, everything seems fine. It was also disappointing because my in-laws were visiting to spend some time with Gabriel, but of course with my FIL in the hospital, both Josh and my MIL spent loads of time with him. Gabriel and I stayed at home, since we're rather nervous about germs and all that. Spending time with his grandparents will have to wait for our visit to Florida in April, when he'll meet his cousins and have a week to play with the whole family.

Besides that, things are great. Gabe changes so much every day, it is hard for me to keep track. He smiles often now and loves it when we sing, he'll even try to sing along! He coos at me and at Josh and will gab happily to himself when we set him down. Today he has been trying to shove his whole hand into his mouth, and seems intent on accomplishing his goal. This has been going on for a couple of hours, and he just gagged himself into spitting up a few minutes ago. I shouldn't laugh, but I do.

One of his favorite things appears to be his chats with Josh, where he becomes animated and talkative. It is truly something to watch, and makes me cry a little every day. Did you also get a load of his cheeks? They are something to watch as well. I'm anticipating another monstrous weight gain at his appointment next week, based on the back pain I'm experiencing from hefting him around in the car seat and the carrier on our walks. They are delicious to munch on, however.

happy valentine's day

We've developed a college tuition financing plan, just in case the soccer scholarship doesn't work out.




Hope you all have a day full of love!


***********
Idea courtesy of Chatty Cricket, who started the financing plan last year for her daughter.

more joys of parenting

Gabriel fell asleep on the drive home from our new mom's group, and to my surprise, he was still sleeping 4 hours later. Normally, I'd say that you should never wake a sleeping baby, but I'm always nervous that too much sleep in the daytime will equal not enough sleep at night, so I woke him up. Of course, as soon as he woke up he decided that he was frantically hungry, so he was not pleased with my decision to change his diaper before I fed him. He was getting himself worked up, and I picked him up for a moment in between taking off the dirty diaper and putting on the clean one to soothe him. As I set him back down on the couch, I felt warmth coming through my sweater and realized, far far far too late, that he was peeing on me. And on the couch, and on the floor, and on the changing pad, over his whole outfit, and through my sweater and t-shirt and jeans, and splattered on my computer and soaking into the rug.

The worst part was that he was so hungry, I didn't know what to do. Everything was wet with pee, both of us included, but he was starving and I couldn't take the time to clean anything up, so we plopped down on the couch soaked in pee to nurse. After a few minutes he was calm enough that I could throw some cleaner over the furniture and floor and peel off my clothes, but it was an interesting evening, to say the least.

Serves me right for not wanting to share my computer, right?




Hee! I peed on my mom!

the joys of parenting

Gabriel spit up all over Josh's laptop keyboard.

He no longer has use of the 9, (, 0, ), O, or P keys. Apparently, these keys are important to him. Something about not being able to take notes in class, blah, blah, can't do Excel equations without parentheses, blah, blah.

I'm getting nervous that he is going to ask to borrow my laptop to take to class with him and do his homework. I've been preparing myself, though. I have my speech all ready for him, about how maybe he should have thought twice before leaning over his computer with his son in his arms. It's all about tough love.

Plus, I need my computer for important things like blogging while breastfeeding and surfing the web. Maybe I should hide it under the couch and pretend that it's lost? You don't want to live without pictures of chubby baby feet, do you?

mama bear

I thought I loved Gabriel before he was born, and I did. I loved the squirming kicking little being that grew every day, I loved the promise of him, the way he was changing my life. I loved the way Josh admired my belly and spoke to it and the way he took care of us.

When Gabriel was born, I loved him instantly. His tiny hands and feet, his dark hair, the way his nose looked smushed from the birth canal. I loved his sweet cries, the way he would quiet when I spoke to him, the way his little arms and legs would wave quickly if you unwrapped him or didn't hold him tight. My mom asked me once we were home whether I already felt the protective instinct over this new creature, and I did, I thought I would do anything to keep him safe.

Last night, in the wee hours of the morning, Josh accidentally pinched Gabriel as he was fastening his diaper. I had rested my head on the pillows waiting for the diaper changing to finish so that we could continue feeding, but when I heard Gabriel's cries, I shot up to see what was the matter. Gabriel was so upset that it took me a bit of shushing and murmuring to quiet him, but it was over as quickly as it began. What wasn't over, though, was the completely irrational rage that surged as I heard Gabe's crying. Josh would no more intentionally hurt Gabriel than I would, but I was still angry that someone, anyone, had caused him pain.

Josh went back to sleep, and I went back to feeding Gabriel, and as I looked down at him, I realized that this was what my mother had meant. I loved him before, but now I love him desperately. Fiercely. I would do anything to keep him safe, a protectiveness that surprises me. I love him in a way I can't describe.

So this is what motherhood is like, huh? How do you possibly handle it when you can't protect them anymore?

In response to my realization from last night, Gabe gave me a gift this morning. Do you think he knows?

ten

This is how we spend most of our day. This kid can EAT.







10 pounds. 1-0. Ten.

That is what Gabriel weighed at his one month appointment last Monday afternoon*. For those of you keeping score at home, that is 3 pounds gained in 3 weeks. We are in a bit of shock over here. The pediatrician said we should bottle me up and send me to Africa to feed the children.

He has to slow down, right? At this rate, I'm going to have to figure out where to put him ASAP, since his bassinet only goes up to 15 pounds. He'll be 15 pounds by, what, next week?

This explains a lot, actually. It explains why he can't straighten his legs in the sleepers I keep putting on him, umm, because they are apparently too small. It also explains why we were having poop blowouts multiple times per day. Poop blowouts in the Newborn Pampers, the Newborn Pampers that go to 10 pounds. I'm so relieved, because it is a little disconcerting when you fill a whole washing machine with clothing all covered in poop. Clothing produced in 24 hours. I was running out of clean clothes, and that is saying a lot because we have a lot of clean clothes.

Gabe looks so big to me now, with his double chin and chubby cheeks. Other people comment on how tiny he is, but what I see are the rolls on his thighs and the dimples on his knuckles. But I'm ecstatic to know that he is growing well.

********************

A good indication of life with a newborn? It took me a week to finish this short post!

one month as a mother

Dear Gabriel,

You are one month old today, and I need someone to explain to me how my baby could be 4 weeks old already. If feels like you were born yesterday, and I still find myself staring at you and marveling that you lived inside of me. I watch your movements and stretches and recognize the motion as the kicks and rolls I felt in my belly. It still amazes me to imagine that you were the same little being I carried with me for 9 months. Time flies by, and I'm torn between wanting to know you more and wanting time to stand still.


















Your personality comes out more every day, and you are such a sweet calm boy. Every day with you is a pleasure. You still sleep most of the time, but as your awake and alert hours stretch, you are content to sit in our arms or in your bouncy seat and listen to us chatter on to you. I've realized that you know me now, and you calm more quickly and easily when you hear my voice than anyone else's, and that is a wonderful thing. I love being your mother.


















You sleep for longer stretches at night, usually 4 hours but sometimes more. Your nighttime feedings have shortened also, so I feel more rested when we wake up for the day. I'm still getting up during the night, but sitting up feeding you for 20-30 minutes is far easier than the hour+ we were doing before. I can't complain, though, because I still love to sit in the dark with you while you eat. You go right to sleep afterwards, and even though I'm exhausted, I still miss you after I've put you down. It is shocking to me to discover how all consuming my love for you is.













Your daddy and I change too, I've noticed. We are more confident and assured as parents. We change diapers faster, respond to your needs faster, and we decipher your protestations faster. It feels amazing to know that one yell means you are hungry, while another grunt means that you have to poop. It helps that you only complain about those two things. Your dad says that you are clearly all boy.


















A few of your sleepers don't fit you anymore, including the one you wore home from the hospital. Your dad claims that you've grown out of them, but I suspect that the dryer shrunk them, and I won't accept any other explanation. Your one month doctor's appointment is this week, and we're anxious to hear just how much you've grown. Just try not to grow too fast, my little peanut.


















For the past couple of days, I've tried to rock you to sleep and you won't close your eyes. You sit and look up at me, and wait until I put you down to sleep in your bassinet. Once I've wrapped you up and laid you down, you talk to the sides of your bassinet before drifting off to sleep. It makes me just the tiniest bit sad that you have already learned that you don't need your mommy to sleep. I know both of us will be grateful in the future, but I guess I imagined that you would change slower.


















I know I'm biased, but you are the most adorable, beautiful, wonderful, snuggly baby in the whole world. Your father and I are so blessed, and we are so grateful for the wonderful gift you are. It has only been a month, but I cannot imagine my life without you. I cannot imagine ever needing anything more than this.

You are the love of our lives. We cannot wait to explore the world with you.

Love,
Mommy

hypothetical

When your baby has a poop blowout, and you go into the bathroom at the coffee shop and find that there is no changing table, and it is beyond freezing outside so changing him in the car is out of the question, what do you do?

Do you...

(a) Let him sit in his poopy diaper for the next couple of hours until you go home?

(b) March out and change him on top of one of the tables in the coffee shop?

(c) Cry?

(d) Sit on the toilet, balancing your baby on your lap, holding him with one hand, while trying to wrestle the messy dirty diaper with the other hand, wiping him, butt-pasting him and getting a diaper on him, all while trying to make sure he doesn't slide off your lap onto his head?

Please share. Advice is welcome.
*****************

Today was our first day flying solo without Josh or my mom, and I'm happy to report that we survived. I had hoped to shower, eat, straighten up the living room and run a load of laundry, all in addition to taking care of Gabe. I managed to shower once I discovered that Gabe sits in awed silence while the bathroom fan and shower water runs. I even managed to eat one-handed over his head while he ate, but straightening up the house or doing laundry flew out the window. Gabriel decided to stay awake for most of the day, so we read a book together and changed lots of diapers and he ate a lot, but didn't get anything else done.

I still consider it a success, and I guess we'll get better at everything else with time.

milestones

Having a boy means different milestones abound... Like the first time he peed on his father (December 31, 2006), or the first time he peed on his own face (January 3, 2007), or the first time he peed on his mother (not counting in utero- January 5, 2007). At this point, we've lost track.

Then there are the typical milestones, the first day the three of us went out (January 5, 2007) the day he lost his umbilical cord (January 17, 2007- three whole weeks!), the day of his first bath (also January 17, 2007), the first time he held his head up (January 20, 2007, although to be fair, he's been holding up his head for short bouts since he was born), the first pumped bottle (January 16, 2007), the day I caught the dog, Tango, eating diaper shit (January 14, 2007).

Every day brings something new, some of the moments are important and some of them are not, but at the end of the day I find myself wishing that I could write all of these things down because I hate to forget them, even the little things. For the first week we were home, Josh and my mom kept a careful tally of when Gabriel ate, peed and pooped. I found this secretly hilarious, but to their faces I'd pretend to take it as seriously as they did. Josh even put together a chart on Excel, with different columns and different methods of recording the pees and poops. He even had a section for comments, you know, like "peed on Dad", "pooped on couch". After we went to the pediatrician and Gabriel was gaining weight well, and his dirty diapers were happening at a record pace, the two of them eventually phased out the chart. I forgot about that chart until today, and that made me a little sad.

Last night Gabriel smiled at his Daddy, and to avoid any doubts, he did it a couple times in a row in response to Josh's singing. After Josh left the room, I told Gabriel in no uncertain terms that the smile was sweet and all, but if he wants the milk to keep flowing, he better produce some gummy grins for this mommy asap. Josh burps him and changes almost all the dirty diapers, but I feed him, and damnit, that better count for more.

Before I forget, yesterday was a series of milestones. We went to the mall for the first time, breastfed and changed him in a department store fitting room, we had to pull over to breastfeed him in the Post Office parking lot, I had to change a dirty diaper on my lap in the car, and then he peed on me in the middle of the changing. We also went out to dinner for the first time, I breastfed at the Olive Garden (covered up) and got my first disgusted look for doing so, even though the woman could see neither breast nor child underneath my cover. It stung a little.

Things are still wonderful, though. Gabriel is the sweetest baby. He never cries, literally never. The last time he uttered any wails was the day of his bris. He will let out solitary squawks when he is displeased with us, and he scrunches up his face into the most pitiful pouty face you've ever seen, but he doesn't actually cry. He lets me sleep 4-5 hours at a stretch at nighttime and feeds every 3 hours in the daytime. Every day he stays awake for longer and longer, and is contented to listen to me babble to him. He is a dream, I can't believe our luck. And he's pretty cute to boot- don't you think? We're definitely keeping him.

national delurking week

I'm sneaking in here before the week is officially over, since it's delurking week!

Now that Gabriel is here, I totally understand how much easier it is to read and not comment! Babies are indeed a lot of work!

But we do love to read all of your comments around here, and really, Gabriel might cry if you don't delurk to say hi.






You don't want to make baby Gabe cry, now do you?

two weeks

Dear Gabriel,

I can't believe you're finally here, and at the same time I can't remember life without you. I've spent months imagining what you would be like- whether you'd be your daddy's little girl or your mommy's boy, whether you'd be a troublemaker or an angel, whether you'd have my dimples or your father's cleft chin. In the end, though, I never imagined that you'd be this wonderful, this adorable, this beautiful in my eyes. I love you so much already, I can't stop counting your fingers and toes and running my fingers along your rapidly expanding cheeks.

I worried so much before you were born. I didn't know what kind of mother I'd be and whether I'd be able to take care of you, but I realize now that with this much love, I could never do anything less than my best. Maybe that won't be enough sometimes, but I'll try my hardest to be the mom that you need.

Last night, I stared at you over the edge of your bassinet and I missed you, even though you were less than 12 inches away from me. I closed my eyes and thanked God for the hundredth time since you have arrived into my life, for this precious blessed gift.

I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much. More than I ever thought possible.

Love,
Mommy