Tuesday, July 19, 2005

the post I may later regret

I haven't posted this morning because I have been busy being infuriated. Why, you ask? Because my husband is a doodyhead. Yes, that's right. I am married to a poophead at whom I am currently very angry.

You see, when I had my aforementioned meltdown on Sunday night, I begged him to help me more. And by more, I meant actually spending a greater number of hours doing all of the things that were stressing me out. Paying bills, for example, organizing the house, calling the cleaning lady to schedule a date for her to FREAKING SHOW UP ALREADY, doing laundry, unpacking his bag from Costa Rica, and so on and so forth. Apparently, what he heard was "feel free to go away for a day and a half to visit your parents so that Halloweenlover can continue to worry this week and has to walk the 3/4 of a mile to the subway and then 3/4 of a mile to the office, both ways, because we only have one car, in the 90 degree heat". Practically the same message, don't you think?

Now, I am a big proponent of family. I try to put aside at least one week of vacation time to spend with each of our families, in addition to spending many weekends flying to Florida and California and back to visit with our respective families. I love his family. I really enjoy spending time with them. I never ask him not to go, I rarely say no to a request for a visit, reserving my "no"s for those very few times that I am under too much stress and cannot fathom flying back and forth for a 36 hour visit. I think this has happened once. One would assume, therefore, that this one time, when I asked him to please postpone his trip to Western Massachusetts for a couple of weeks while I get my bearings and we get our life in order that he would have agreed. But alas, one would assume wrong.

Adding to my list of grievances, I asked if he absolutely had to go, that he please schedule a couple of things for me, like the cleaning lady to FREAKING SHOW UP ALREADY. My husband assured me that he would call her, because our house has dust and hair balls that are threatening to overtake my small dogs, and schedule a visit and plan his trip around her visit. Turns out he didn't make the call, and left anyway. So now, I will have to live with this filthy house that is causing me undue stress for the rest of the week, or I have to get the number from home and try to schedule something myself, thus adding more work to my list.

This is one of the many things that makes me sit at my desk and focus on breathing because I am afraid this is what a panic attack might feel like.

I'll be fine, though, and tonight I'll just step over his suitcase that is still sitting in the hallway and curl up with Harry Potter and my pups. This may merit reading several chapters, rather than just the one I permit myself per night.


C said...

Oh, I would be SOOOOOO mad about that cleaning lady phone call. I really think men live in another reality--like stoners, but slightly different, they think that nothing is ever THAT big a deal. You should have some wine with that HP. Perhaps a bottle. But also remember, this is the same man who woke up before dawn to shovel the sidewalk for you in the winter (when he wasn't traveling).

Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh, even the bestest husbands can be poopyheads occasionally. It's how they react when TOLD that they are poopyheads that distinguishes the princes from the dreck.

I vote for the wine with several chapters of HP tonight.

If it makes you feel better, my kid was cheered up tonight upon hearing that he might get to meet a commenting pixie's dogs someday. (I'm such a mean, allergic-to-dogs mama that he can't have one of his own.)

Chris said...

They are all poopyheads sometimes.

I have found that at times when my husband has been travelling alot it is difficult to reconnect and there is a period of stressful readjustment. Hope today is much better for you :-)

halloweenlover said...

Ha, PS, that actually DOES make me feel better! I'll speak to Tango and Murray about being on their best behavior. Can LG throw a ball? He'll be Tango's new best friend.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh good! LG has an excellent throwing arm. HE wants to know if the dogs like to run. He suggested that they could bark once for yes, and several times for no.

Honey Bunny said...

my hubs to be is wonderful and loving and handsome and intelligent and stylish and a great organizer and hanger-of-things...


he also exhibits that same behavior from time to time. i don't get what it is, or why he does it (like never remembering to shut the door on the fridge!), but he does it. but the weird thing is that i wouldn't change that about him. i get stressed out when he doesn't do something i ask him to, but then i realize that men are not multi-taskers. i bet your hubs was thinking of many different things at once, but could only focus on one thing - leaving to visit family.

try not to stress. it's only dust ;)

Ninotchka said...

Add a glass of wine to the HP chapter overindulgence and call it a party, my friend! YOU NEED A BREAK.

I'd be fuming too.

Not to worry though, I didn't kiss Guy goodbye this morning. Too cranky. He took it in stride. Now I hope against all hope today is not the day he meets an untimely death. Nice last memory to have, no?

"My husband asked me for a kiss and I said NO and then he died."

Pretty talk.

halloweenlover said...

indeed very pretty talk.

The fear of death is what prompted me to call him last night and work it out although I really really wanted to ignore his messages. He apparently didn't understand that I was stressed. He now understands. We are all going to be better about it.

PS, tell LG that Tango is a big runner, but Murray just chases his tail a lot. And tell him that Murray's bark sounds suspiciously like "BOOF" instead of "WOOF" or "ARF".

liz said...

When he comes back, you have permission to bop him over the head with a hairy, dusty sofa cushion.