growing up- all of us

I'll admit it, I do not like baking with the three year old crowd.

I get frustrated. I get annoyed. I want to limit what he does and how he does it, I worry about kid germs on licked fingers, I stress over the flour flying all over the floors, and that does not make for a happy or fun experience. It isn't the way I want to spend my time with Gabe. I want him to grow and experience and have a great time.

Today we went to check out a summer camp for Gabe, and one of the activities the kids were undertaking (it is a regular preschool during the year) was baking. They made brownies, and the teachers were very liberal with what they thought the children were capable of doing. They even handed Gabe an egg and told him to crack it into the bowl.

I was fairly shocked as I watched them let the kids crack the eggs, measure and pour the oil, dump the brownie mix into the bowl. I would never give him that much freedom, but all the kids were able to do what they'd been asked. It made me realize I really need to loosen up, let go a little, try to enjoy the process without being such a tense mess during the baking.

Part of my Happiness Project is to enjoy life with my children more. I'm trying to step outside of my regular schedule and do interesting, educational, and enjoyable things with them. We're baking more (despite my true feelings on the subject), I'm taking them to museums (ALONE EVEN!), I'm being more playful and positive on a daily basis.

I want them to remember these days as GOOD days, I want them to remember their mom as FUN (strict, but fun), I want their childhood memories to be HAPPY. After all, this is the only childhood they will ever have. This is my one and only chance.

So if you need me, I'll be over here baking. Gritting my teeth, and baking.