Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I never said I was perfect

I've spoken to you in the past about my problems with spilling items on myself...

It is a SERIOUS problem. I have to work, in a real office, with actual people around, and somehow I am incapable of getting food from a container to my mouth without spilling on myself. If I don't spend the latter half of the day with food splotches on my top and pants, then I spent the latter half of the day with discolored stains from Shout Wipes. Or discolored stains and a huge wet spot across my boobs because then I always try to rinse out part of the discolored stain in the hopes that you'll see it less. The Shout Wipes ALWAYS leave discolored stains, but yet I continue to use them.

This week I've updated my stain arsenal to see if this helps.




I'll give you a review as soon as I spill something on myself, probably in the next 10 minutes.





Honestly, though, I think I may be food and liquid cursed. For example, two days ago while walking with favorite Googly Eyes colleague, my Starbucks Maple Latte exploded out of the tiny hole in the top and all over my pale pink sweater set. Two items, off to the dry cleaner with big discolored stains from trying to remove coffee with the wipes.

Yesterday's lunch training? The piece of lettuce from my salad FLEW off my fork and landed in my lap.

Today? Walking to work, pulled my breakfast banana out of my purse, peeled just the top few inches, turned to see the new display in Boston's Downtown Crossing.







Hey! It's Christmas already!!!











Hey! Where'd the top of my banana go? Oh. Broke off and tumbled down the front of my pants.

Did you know that bananas leave an unsightly trail of spludge when they slide down your pants that is remarkably impervious to water, paper towels and Shout Wipes? Did you???

The one shining spot in my day? My Halloween flowers died a pitiful death over the weekend and the florist offered to replace them. Ta da!






They still aren't orange and black, but they'll do.

18 comments:

Running2Ks said...

You must wear a lot of white. I find that I can't get through a day wearing white, because it will have stained by the end of the day.

Do you have any tips for getting mud out of clothes that already went through the dryer (twice)?

liz said...

Of course I know that banana leaves a stain that is impervious to all cleaners know to man. I am Mommy.

As soon as you have a solids-eating infant, you will have every shirt you own (and most of your coats) permanently stained by banana blech.

jo(e) said...

I have the same problem. So I try to cooridinate my clothing with what I am eating. I wear dark red when I go to an Italian restaurant, for instance, because I know that no matter what I do, some sauce will splatter. How sad is that?

Phantom Scribbler said...

Ah, jo(e), that is the solution to my laundry problems! From now on, my tomato-sauce-loving children shall only be dressed in orange and red. Brilliant!

I await the results of your newest addition to the stain arsenal. And you are totally cracking me up...

Yankee T said...

Are we related? My nickname in my office is "Bear". When anyone spills on their clothes, they say they're "doin' the Bear Wear". It's pathetic.

Suzanne said...

I am also a stain magnet. Although kids contribute to this, I am proud to say that I can make quite a statement all on my own.

Let us know if the newest additions to the stain arsenal work!

Piece of Work said...

Ooh, I love the flowers! Gorgeous, and what a bonus. You are killing me with your stories, too. I'm a spiller, also. I think jo(e)'s idea is the best!

Chatty Cricket said...

Ooooo, tell me how the Tide pen works- Lady thinks that adding a streak of drool here and a dash of puke there will enhance my outfit of choice. I strongly disagree.

Jill said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. My husband says that I have an "eating disorder", which in my case means that I can't seem to get food from my fork to my mouth without spilling it on myself.

z said...

I blame it all on my shelf (aka my boobs). The shelf just wants some food of its own and I don't want to spoil it by giving in all the time! That's why I hunch over my plate... there's less surface area to spill on that way. ;)

halloweenlover said...

I WISH I had a "shelf" to blame it on, but no such luck. Unless you count my stomach, and then that is just offensive so let's not.

Frankie said...

HA ha! You don't have a shelf stomach!

I also spill stuff all over myself, so please let me know how the Tide thing works.

I can't believe you like the Maple latte!

ccw said...

I didn't think there was anyone out there who spilled/dropped more food on themself than my mom, but I think you have her beat. She has yet to lose a banana.

Sorry to laugh...Do keep us updated on the stain removal. I can always use good tips for stain. Zout is an excellent removal product and I have only had it discolor one item. I don't think it comes in a portable size though.

Ninotchka said...

La pobre! You need a 12-step program, querida. LOL

Kristin said...

Like Z, I blame my spilling habits on my "shelf." My mom has the same problem. When we go to lunch together, we're constantly pointing out the stuff falling on each other's boobs. By the way, my worst-ever spilling incident (which has happened twice, both times involving beans) - I spilled baked beans DOWN my shirt. Since I was with people from work, I pretended nothing had happened while the baked beans gelatinized on my bra. Mmm, that was fun.

Girl said...

More importantly...WHY IS THE CHRISTMAS TREE UP THIS EARLY?????

I was waiting for my roomie by the fruit stand to go home one day and noticed there were pine needles on the ground...I looked up and there was the tree!

I also hate that they put up the lights already...I personally believe that if you have to work around the leaves that haven't fallen yet to put up the Christmas lights...and you are IN New England...than you're puttin' em up too early!!!

Also, if you are taking them down when the tulips are budding (as they did last year) perhaps you are a bit LATE in your de-decorating.

Ok...I'm off my soapbox now :)

Good luck with the stain stuff...I have taken to only eating paste for the past few weeks, it tastes much like the food I am supposed to be eating on the Fatty McFat diet AND it dries clear :)

JenfromBoston said...

I've had decent luck with the Shout pads. I keep one in my purse the other in my desk at work. Coffee and marina sauce are my nemisis.

Stain Removal said...

I absolutely loved your blog. Hope the new product works out well for you. If you want some tips for geeting out some specific stains, you could check out my site on stain removal. I myself am very prone to dropping food all over my best clothes, so I totally sympathize with you.