Tuesday, October 05, 2010

those sedatives she got at the hospital look pretty good

We have remained injury-free for a whopping 4 days, and I am starting to be able to catch my breath again. My shoulders were so tense, they were almost touching my ears over the weekend.

Thankfully, now my parents are visiting too (first time in 10 months!) so I have another 2 sets of hands and eyes to watch out for injuries. Keeping these two kids safe is a multi-person full-time job. My mom keeps asking me breathlessly, "How do you do this alone?" It doesn't help that Josie NEVER STOPS. Never ever, never.

My daily running commentary goes something like this:

"Josie, get down from that chair."

"Josie, don't climb the desk."

"Josie, stop hanging on the oven handles (or dishwasher handles, or fridge handles)."

"Josie, get out of the toilet."

"Josie, stop running. No, stop running. STOP RUNNING!" (rinse and repeat 10,000 times per day)

"Josie, get off the table. Get out from under the table."

"Josie, leave the front door alone."

"Josie, don't climb out of the stroller/high chair/grocery cart."

Did I tell you we call her Houdini? It doesn't matter how or where or what you tie her into, this girl gets out. She is a master at undoing straps and slithering out of any restraint situation. A MASTER.

Just yesterday, she was safely strapped into a restaurant high chair, and my mom had the nerve to say to me, "Oh, she definitely can't get out of this one." Not 5 minutes later, Josie says, "Mommy, look at me!" and she had slid out of the restraints, hoisted herself out of her seat, and was holding herself up over the seat (kind of like a gymnast on the saddlehorse thing) and dangling her body in mid-air.

The thing is, she does all of this in seconds, so if you divert your gaze from her for even a moment, like perhaps when you turn to Gabe to ask him to finish eating his quesadilla, that is long enough for her to climb out of her seat and perform circus tricks.

It is a real gift.

I am really and truly considering getting some kind of harness for her to tie around my wrist, and only the worry that people will think I'm some kind of child abuser keeps me from purchasing it. I'm wondering, though, what if I put a sign on her that says:

One broken wrist.
Two dislocated elbows.
Stitches between my eyes.
My harness keeps me safe and my parents sane.

Or something like that, will people still judge me? I wouldn't change her for the world, but I'm hoping her balance improves as time goes on. I'm also hoping she develops a healthy fear of falling, and SOON.


Stacy said...

Big hugs.
Do you have a play center inside your house? a little tykes one? mats and such?
I had a crazy climber and that was what helped. I had one of the small things in my house. little tree house looking thing with stairs and a slide.
they make all kinds.
then you get some gym mats for them.
maybe a spare bedroom or a basement space.
one of those indoor joggers to bounce on.
embrace it and give them safe alternatives.
maybe it will help expend some energy. maybe it will just give them a bit safer of a place to go ape shit crazy!

Meika said...

I had a harness for Chloe when she was that age. She wasn't a Houdini like Josie, she was just so darn QUICK! I took her to Chicago on the train by myself and vividly imagining her diving onto the tracks was enough to keep me from worrying what people thought. I actually see them pretty often around here. We had a one that looked like a little monkey backpack so it looked cute rather than cruel or unusual. Highly recommended.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, it really doesn't matter what others think after what your family has been through these past few months. If you think a harness will help your sanity then you should go for it. Also, maybe you should look into gymnastics for Josie, sounds like something she would really excel at ~ just sayin maybe we'll see her in the Olympics someday!

liz said...

What they said. WHATEVER WORKS. If a harness will help restore your sanity, DO IT.

If anyone asks, tell them that you couldn't take one more ER visit.

I ditto the idea of gymnastics for Josie, and a mat at home to practice rolls and stuff.

Anonymous said...

I'd be homebound before I'd ever put my kid on a leash. See them all the time aroud here, though and I always wonder how it is that someone can't keep up with a toddler. I take 3 kids out with me every day and they walk everywhere, never run away, and behave while out of the house. They are very active kids, but we expect appropriate behavior and that's what we get when we're out and about.

Rev Dr Mom said...

Josie sounds a lot like WW when she was a baby/toddler. Constantly climbing and could get out of anything. And I did use a "leash" when we went out, b/c she couldn't/wouldn't stay in the stroller.

Don't pay attention to people like the last Anon. Do what works for you and your kids---for their safety and your sanity and all your happiness.

WW did take up gymnastics later, and it was a great outlet for her, fwiw. But you have a few years to get to that stage!

Hang in there!

Rev Dr Mom said...

I also have to confess that I don't see why the harness/leash things are viewed so negatively by some. Kids actually have a lot of freedom -- more than if you're trying to hold their hand or if they were in a stroller. They just can't get away from you.

Knit and Purl Mama said...

Hopefully the surgery for the tubes will help her balance, and all that jazz as you talked about in the other post I just commented on. How many months is Josie now? She hasn't turned 2 yet, has she?

Downsized Attorney said...

As an adult without children I actually think that the kid leases are better than unruly kids running around a store knocking into people and things. At the airport a few weeks ago I saw a family with triplets and they all had those monkey back-pack things. I think it make a lot of sense when you're in a public place with a high energy child.