Sunday, August 22, 2010

someone please send some workmen over

Things have got to change around here.

I love doing projects, don't get me wrong. I love the planning, and prepping, the doing, and especially, OH ESPECIALLY, the completion.

But I'm feeling like the projects are overtaking my life. I don't even mean the painting of rooms, although by gosh, I've been doing a lot of room painting lately. It is more the fact that I let those projects, big or small, get in the way of my treasuring every day with my children.

Since May of a year ago when we decided to sell our house, I spent that May and June prepping the house for sale and finishing the basement, then keeping the house neat and clean and organized for all of July and August and September (which nearly pushed me over the edge), and then the house hunting for September and October, and then the packing for October and November, and then the illnesses and unpacking and projects for December and January and February and March and April (and holy smokes, can you believe we haven't had an ear infection since APRIL?) and then the injuries this summer and the projects I've been working on, I have been letting life pass me by.

I adore my children, and I have no doubt that they know it. I shower them with hugs and kisses and take them to museums and zoos and parks and schedule playdates and all of that, but I think I'm missing the little things. I'm not sitting with them and watching them push the cars around. Or sitting at the table to color with them. Or relaxing on the bedroom floor while I hear the many, many, MANY details about Buzz Lightyear's life story (what did we do before Buzz Lightyear, I'd like to know).

I'm not soaking every moment in because I'm folding laundry and worrying about the paint colors or whether we should tile the basement floor or carpet it or staring around at the mess and thinking about who is stopping by later today. I have to stop. I don't want to look back on my Gabe and Josie's babyhoods and toddlerhoods and feel like I missed them. I don't want to look around at a beautiful and put together house, but then realize I didn't notice them getting so big.

Who needs a nice pretty clean house if you're missing out on life?


YG&B said...

i don't think you're missing out on life, rather, this is what your life has been consisting of lately - moving, fixing up your house, and parenting. you'd never spend your all of your days sitting at the kitchen table gazing at gabe and josie; you're far too active for that. maybe dedicate one day a week to doing nothing but playing with them so that you don't feel run down everyday.

Anonymous said...

I'm impressed that you find any time for house projects. But I definitely think you're onto something here. I have decided that I will have an immaculate home and lawn when I'm an empty nester.(Maybe!) In the meantime, I just keep it clean (and even that is an impossible task some weeks) and settle in for another game of Candyland or another round of "playing Diego." That said, I nearly lost my mind last year during our kitchen renovation -- and my only job was to keep our then 2-year-old out of the way!

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OneTiredEma said...

if what you mean by project is organizing the house and cleaning midweek (rather than just on the weekend), then i never do projects. we've been at the pool a lot. miss m is swimming--ungainly, but effective--and AM is totally comfortable putting his head under. that's success i wouldn't have been able to achieve with a pristine house.

BabyMac said...

I have an idea! STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF. The kids are getting all they need from you. Promise. If the projects can wait. Put them on hold a little while. Soak up the last of summer because before you know it you could be stuck indoors for months on end spending LOTS of time together. If it wasn't stuff around the house and you were working, you would be feeling guilty about that we are so hard on ourselves. I think you are doing a BRILLIANT job considering the run you have had for the past 12 months. If you need to stop, then stop CERTAINLY deserve a break literally and figuratively speaking x

liz said...

What they said.


Chatty Cricket said...

I hear you my dear. I think its hardest over the Summer too when everything is SUPPOSED to be more relaxed, but the pace of life doesn't REALLY slow down and it feels like you're forced to choose: housework or kidtime. It always gets easier, at least for me, when we hit September and back to school and life settles into a pattern where housework seems like an ok thing to make time for.

You're not missing their babyhood though, don't worry. But I know what you mean and I think about that too.

Knit and Purl Mama said...

I hear you hun. I have a life that is always on the go too - and I feel that even though I am doing things with my boys, I'm missing something as well. I totally get it.