My son was BITTEN on Thursday at his toddler program.
Now, I know, I know, developmentally appropriate, tons of kids do it, happens all the time, and all that, but I'll tell you, when the head of the program lifted up Gabe's shirt to show me the bite and I saw a hugely swollen, hickey looking circle with teeth marks all around the outside on his sweet little innocent BACK? I could have KILLED the kid. My mother bear instincts kicked in and I could have ripped his head off.
I didn't, though, I kind of gasped and the woman tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal and she said that although she didn't see it happen, she heard Gabe SCREAM. Allegedly, he got over it rather quickly and now all was fine. She didn't want to tell me the culprit, but since Gabe was more than happy to spill the beans, she finally admitted who it was and said she would speak to the mother.
I went home upset, but again, I know this happens, I know it isn't a big deal, and although every time I look at his back it pains my heart, I was okay with the whole thing. Sad about the giant swollen bite mark, but understanding that this is one of those unfortunate childhood things that happens.
UNTIL, the next day, my mom goes to pick Gabe up at the end of the day and both the head of the toddler program and the biter's mom are standing in the doorway talking. As my mom is pulling on Gabe's shoes and grabbing his bag, the head of the program says to my mom (loudly), "Yes, well, we're working on Gabe not taking toys away from the other children because that is why that little tussle happened yesterday." My mom stood there gaping at her, so the director added, "Oh, but Gabe is a good boy. He's a good boy." My mom sat there stunned for a minute, until she abruptly said, "OF COURSE, he's a good boy," and then she stormed off to the car.
When she got home, I could practically see smoke coming out of her ears, she was so enraged. She couldn't believe that the woman running the program would blame the incident on Gabe, and not even MENTION the biting. If she had said they were working on taking toys away and obviously on not biting, it would have been one thing, but to talk about a toddler taking a toy away from another toddler as justification for biting seemed crazy to us.
I ended up calling the toddler program and telling the woman who runs it why we were so upset and she profusely apologized and said it wasn't her intention, it hadn't occurred to her it could be interpreted like that, and she certainly didn't think the incident was Gabe's fault. Regardless, I'm still upset and now it is Sunday night and that bite mark is still red and bruised with little teeth marks all around it (4 days later) and I'm not sure how I am going to put on a happy face tomorrow for Gabe's pick-up and drop-off. To make matters worse, tomorrow is the last day and we're having a little graduation/pot luck party for it, so I have to be social and smiley and make nice with everyone.
Ugh, parenting is hard, yo. Watching your kids get hurt and navigate the world is really hard. I can't imagine what I'll do if he comes home and tells me some kid hit him, or some girl broke his heart, or worse. Tell me you've been through much much worse and survived, please.