Tuesday, April 29, 2008

even the computer smells funny

When I got into my top choice for law school, I was shocked. Really, really shocked. The acceptance letter came in a thin envelope, and everyone knows what that means. Applying to the school had been such a stretch that I wasn't even particularly stunned about the thin envelope, and as I sat in the campus mail room, I considered throwing it away without even opening the envelope, to spare myself that additional twinge of seeing the actual words written out. I settled on sliding open the envelope over the gray trash barrel, and I barely slid the letter out, opened the top flap, and almost lost my lunch as I read "We are pleased to inform you..." I spent the next two hours blubbering into the phone as I read the letter to my mom, and Josh, and his parents.

When Josh proposed, I was also shocked. We'd been dating only 2 years, and had just entered the foray of long-distance dating when I moved to Connecticut and he remained in Boston. I'd come up for the long weekend after my first semester finals, and he woke me early on a Sunday morning and began professing his love to me. A proposal was the furthest thing from my mind, and I was terribly annoyed that he was waking me up so early to state the obvious. I rolled over to give him a dirty look, and then I saw it, the look on his face, the box in his hands. So I made him start all over again because I missed the proposal the first time through. I was seriously surprised, and seriously wasn't expecting to even talk about married for another year at least. He definitely succeeded in blowing me out of the water.

Over the years, I've had many other moments of surprise. When I got a job offer I wasn't expecting, when I got a high or low grade in a class, when Gabe said "mama" for the first time, when my car broke down on the highway in rush hour traffic, when a childhood friend finds me on Facebook after 20 years of not talking.

This, though, this takes the cake. I spent a week thinking I had some horrid form of the flu. Some vicious flu that made you weak and lightheaded and achy and nauseous. A virus that made it difficult for me to even sit through Gabe's music class because dancing in a sitting position was too much exertion for me. Turns out, I didn't catch the flu. I caught the pregnant bug.

I'm totally pregnant.

And it was very much a surprise, a surprise that had my heart pounding in a way I have never experienced, and had Josh staring at me dumbfounded when I blurted it out to him. Don't get me wrong, we're excited and happy and anxious, but we were definitively holding off on trying for another 3-6 months, at least. We were actively preventing. Turns out the best laid plans, blah blah blah.

It's early, I'm about 6 and a half weeks, almost 7, and we saw the wee little flicker of a heartbeat yesterday on the ultrasound after I called my doctor to tell her the unbelievable news. I'm also horribly, terribly, disgustingly nauseous and dizzy and sick in a way I wasn't with Gabe. I am barely making it through the day, and nothing seems to help. Not crackers, not nausea reducing wristbands, not eating throughout the day, not drinking water or juice or flat soda, not lying still, not walking around, not special prenatals that claim to reduce morning sickness, not anything. I was sick with Gabe, but it started much later than this has, and if you have any crazy advice that worked for you, I beg you to share it, even if it sounds totally wacky. I'm willing to try anything at this point.

Despite the nausea, we're really excited, and yesterday I looked at Gabe from my position on the couch and wondered if it is even possible for us to make another as amazing as he is. It isn't, right? It can't be possible. I have to wonder about the timing of all this, too, given all the drama going on with my parents. I almost feel as if this is an imposed distraction, something to take me away from my place in the middle of all the problems. We're definitely lucky, that's for sure. In the meantime, we'll be keeping all fingers and toes crossed for a healthy pregnancy.

Now if only I could stop gagging, everything would be perfect.

32 comments:

Nadine said...

Congratulations! Wow!

Corey said...

A huge congrats! I guess it was meant to be now, huh?

chris said...

Congratulations! Vit B always helped...of course I can't remember which VitB it was. But I had shots of it with one pregnancy where I literally thought I was dying. I also had iv fluids too.

Here's hoping you are feeling better soon :-)

Knit & Purl Mama said...

CONGRATS NAT!!!

I also had a total different pregnancy this time around than with Sean. With Sean I had nothing, this pregnancy, nausea, etc, and it's another boy. So no idea why! (I thought it was a girl b/c it was a different pregnancy!)

I guess we won't deliver on the same day again. (Like Sean & Gabe being birthday buddies)... Since you're 7 weeks and I'm 30 weeks now, LOL.

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you! Surprises are good too!

Suzanne said...

Congratulations!

z. said...

Wow! YAY!!! So exciting... hope the nausea ebbs soon.

Maribeth said...

Congratulations my dear!

My second pregnancy I was sooooo sick. I mean, vomit comet! What I did was this: I had saltine crackers that I kept net to my bed. Each morning before I even got up I would lie there eating the crackers, maybe 6 or 8 of them, maybe more. Whatever it took, but I didn't raise my head until the crackers were in. I still had some trouble but eventually it passed.

You know, I was a surprise baby!

wordnerd said...

that is such wonderful news! congrats!

Rev Dr Mom said...

Congratulations!

Beth & Rob said...

Now that's a way to make me smile at 8am sitting in the office! Thank you! Now enough about me....CONGRATS!!!! That is just lovely lovely LOVELY news. I am so happy for you - how scary and exciting. I hope you start to feel better soon - alas I have no advice for you on how to feel better but hurrah!

ttulizzy said...

How cool! Congrats!

Not so little sister said...

Congrats, congrats, congrats!!

Chatty said...

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!

IAMJUSTSOFREAKINGEXCTEDFORYOUGUYS!!!!!!!

susan said...

Wow--that's awesome! Hope you feel better soon, though.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

I'm so excited for you!

Ninotchka said...

WOW WOW WOW! Fantastic! This is seriously the best way to go. Actively trying to conceive is way overrated. Congratulations! Have a happy, healthy pregnancy & babe, of course.

Sadly, I don't have advice for the m/s. I had it horribly with Elle. I lost 16 lbs during that pregnancy! She was 7.2 lb so obviously it just redistributed, but still. I could hardly eat for most of the pregnancy. It was awful. I hope yours subsides and quick!

Erin said...

Congratulations!!!

KathyR said...

Wonderful news!

And the post title cracks me up.

Jessica said...

Congratulations and yes, it is totally possible to make TWO (or more) incredible human beings. Good for you and Josh.

BTW, I hope you don't mind but I recently tagged you in a meme.

http://daughterofopinion.blogspot.com/2008/04/tagged.html

Lady Liberal said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! :)
I was horribly sick with Baby Viv. The only things that tempered it were candied ginger, ginger capsules, and peppermint LifeSavers.
But I have a friend who swears by Wendy's chocolate frostys. I don't know about morning sickness, but I do know the frostys to be a great hangover cure! :)
Again, YAY!!! CONGRATS!

My Wombinations said...

AGH!!!!!!!! May I just say I am THRILLED to hear this news!!!! Let's do that dinner this weekend to celebrate! Email me off line.

Kai said...

WOW! Congrats to all three of you! Talk about being meant to be!!!

Songbird said...

Wow! Congratulations, and I hope the gagging stops soonest!!!

Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh my goodness! Mazel tov!

KLee said...

Surprise is right! Mazel tov!

I know you're thrilled, and we're over the moon for you! Kisses to the whole family! :)

Meika said...

WAAHOO! My jaw literally dropped - that's fantastic; congratulations!

I'm a big fan of peppermint tea to settle the stomach. Real peppermint tea, with just the mint leaves and no actual black tea in it.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess said...

oh wow!! congratulations, mama! :)

i hope the morning sickness doesn't last long.

hugs to you.

Lisanne said...

WOW!!!!!

I'm so happy and excited for you guys! Can't wait to follow your progress! The same thing happened to us with our second pregnancy. We'd envisioned TTC for baby #2 in August 2006, with a possible due date of May 2007, but ... we found out that our precious baby girl was due on Halloween 2006! haha :)

Everything will be fine. Oh, and I felt more icky the second time around (and we had a girl). Maybe you are, too!

Nancy said...

Congratulations! It's great to have two kids!!

jess said...

Oh wow, I missed this! Congratulations. December 19 is my boy's birthday, by the way!

liz said...

HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS???

HOW?

Congratulations!!!

Anonymous said...

WOW!! Congratulations!

regards
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