Wednesday, March 05, 2008

nightmares about work is a step too far

On Sunday and Monday nights, after the last post, I spent hours tossing and turning in bed. I was up until the wee hours of the morning with insomnia, most likely attributed to my anxiety about the employment and money situation. It is getting a little ridiculous, I'm starting to wonder if I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from work or something crazy like that. I know it sounds silly, but I can't explain why I have such extreme anxiety every time the topic of work comes up.

Thank you for all the advice. I'm still not sure what to do, and one of the questions I'm wrestling with is whether I should jump right into something serious, like starting my own practice, as some of you suggested, or start simple. I've been tossing around the idea of tutoring, or even working part-time at a local Spanish program for kids. If I started with something very temporary, I'd be able to better decide whether I want to take the plunge into something more.

Starting a practice out of my home, or looking for clients of my own, is a hefty undertaking. I would need some kind of insurance, and I'd have to create a special account required by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts in which to hold client funds. Not to mention that my chosen fields, international financial transactions, securities, venture funds and private equity, don't necessarily lend themselves to working out of the home. Still, people have suggested real estate closings or wills and trusts as an easier choice, and I could certainly find a way to get trained from someone and then go out on my own. These are all great ideas.

I guess what I really need to do is embrace the anxiety and take the leap. Maybe if I update my resume and start sending out feelers, my fear will lessen and I'll start to worry less about working. Or maybe once I start working, I'll finally calm down. Who knows, but I need to do something because I can't keep feeling like this. It is way too stressful for me, and it is way too stressful for Josh to listen to me complaining about the stress. Wish me luck!


stress said...

That's an interesting post. I've found a website that can be pretty handy for overcoming post traumatic stress. Might want to give it a try at

Anonymous said...

You have my sympathy! Please don't worry too much -- it's just a waste of time and you'll end up a nervous wreck. My advice is to start small in whatever you decide. Being a full-time mother is stressful enough. Things always work out. God Bless, Iris

Maribeth said...

Yeah, pull out the old resume, update it and then if you still feel like you want to send it out, then do.
What is it they say?"Baby Steps"!

Rev Dr Mom said...

I think you are right about making some plans,or putting out some feelers helping to decrease your anxiety. It makes a lot of sense for you to feel anxious about the kind of stress you had when you were working that way. But it doesn't have to be that way. Are their firms or banks who would hire someone to work parttime? Clearly you could make more money in fewer hours doing something like that than tutoring etc. Unless you are thinking about a permanent career change, in which case getting experience doing something else would be good.

And Gabe is old enough that he might actually enjoy being with other kids in a different setting part time.

Good luck.

mamatulip said...

Oh, I wish you all the luck in the world!

PT-LawMom said...

What about talking to an attorney recruiter or executive coach. They can help you find something that's a good fit.

Knit & Purl Mama said...

You have my sympathy too. I'm also very freaked out about working from home. It's a stress just to be a full time mom - work or no work in the "real world". I'm sure it'll all work out for you.