Monday, August 07, 2006
Today marks the beginning of my 20th week of pregnancy. According to the wacky calendar of our doctor and all my books, that also means that this is the halfway point for this pregnancy. We are halfway there to meeting you, and this fills me with immeasurable happiness. I try to imagine what it will be like to see you for the first time, to hold you in my arms, to take you home with us, and my imagination fails me. I have no doubt that it will exceed my wildest expectations.
These days you are making yourself felt regularly. I can often distinguish a kick or punch from a roll, and I rest my hands on my belly to see what you might be doing in there. I have always dreamt of being pregnant, and feeling your kicks has been more magical than I ever dreamed. I'm surprised more women don't talk about it, because the feeling is amazing. Maybe we all like to keep it our own little secret, our private connection with the future loves of our lives.
My belly grows daily as well. When I was first pregnant, I anxiously awaited the moment when a stranger might be able to obviously tell that this was a baby belly. I'm just reaching that point, and now I find myself looking down at my growing bump with a good measure of fear, wondering just how big it will actually get. Bigger than I imagine, I'm sure. Probably even bigger than I'd like!
I've been so excited to start preparing for your arrival, I made myself promise that I wouldn't do anything until I reached 20 weeks. I picked that date in my mind, thinking that I'd have lots of time over the subsequent 20 weeks to get everything ready for you, and it has been a test of willpower to stick to my plan. I'm dying to have your room ready, to start picking out blankets and strollers and bedding and more. Now that I'm here, the task seems daunting, but I remind myself that the most important thing I can do for you is already being done. The rest will get finished sometime.
These first 20 weeks have flown by, and I'm sure the next 20 will go by in the blink of an eye. Years from now, I'll have a hard time remembering what it was like to have you inside of me, so I work to cherish as much as I can. Your father and I can't help but think about your arrival, your personality, your future. We talk about you all the time, we can't resist it.
We can't wait to meet you, my sweet baby. We're in love with you already.
Posted by halloweenlover at 4:37 PM