Friday, June 02, 2006

just call me grumps

I've noticed that for the past few weeks I've been rather, ummm, how shall I put it, moody?

It isn't anything outright obvious, but sometimes people do or say things that infuriate me. And when I look back on them, I realize that perhaps these are the hormones people are talking about.

For example, the other day, I was preparing for a visit by Tango to one of our neighborhood nursing homes. We do this once a month or so, with a group that certifies dogs to visit hospitals, nursing homes and rehabilitation centers. A couple of times, the visits have been cancelled due to a viral outbreak at the facilities, and I figured that it might be a good idea for me to alert the scheduler of the program that I was pregnant. That way, if she heard news about a facility, she could let me know in advance whether I should attend or not. I emailed her, and thought I conveyed in the email that it was early (about 8 or 9 weeks) and that we weren't telling people, but I wanted her to know for the above reasons. Apparently I wasn't clear, because when I went to the visit, one of the other dog handlers came up to me to let me know that she knew, and that she would "keep her fingers crossed for me, because it was sooooooo early, and she neeevvveeerrr would have told people so soon, but she'd keep her hopes up for me." All with this very sympathetic and condescending look on her face. I was stunned, to say the least, and didn't say much, except to assure her that all was proceeding well and that we'd already had an ultrasound and were very hopeful. But I spent the rest of the visit and the rest of the day stewing. I was INFURIATED that she would put a damper on my happy news! I wasn't sharing with the world at that point, but if I was, who was she to tell me when I should and shouldn't tell people?

Last night, it happened again. I finally climbed into bed around 11pm, when my nausea is at its absolute worst, and told Josh for the 30th night in a row, I'm sure, that I was so tired of feeling sick. When will I stop wanting to throw up all the time? And in his characteristically lighthearted manner, he told me that maybe sex would cure the nausea. I could "sex it off" and he was sure I'd feel better. Well, for future reference, this wasn't a good response. I was so angry that I literally couldn't speak, and shut off my light with a bang, while he chuckled at his own wit. I found myself wanting to scream at him, and it took all my will power to convince myself to wait until the light of day before telling him that I was mad. I did mutter a few "I'm sick of the jokes," but I fell asleep without making it into a big deal.

Since I don't normally get hopping mad at people without extreme provocation, I'm assuming this is all resulting from the hormones. Well, the hormones and feeling sick all the time. It takes its toll. I walk around in a good mood for most of the day, but then someone does something, and it sets me off.

Tell me this won't last for the whole pregnancy... will it? It isn't as if I react to the anger, but it is disconcerting, to say the least. I'm not going crazy, right? This is normal? RIGHT?


liz said...

Completely, totally, entirely normal.

You might want to tell your sweet, but misguided, husband that it is NEVER a good idea to joke about the sickness with a pregnant woman. And that feeling like throwing up on one's partner during sex somehow kills the mood. Actually throwing up on one's partner is, of course, just hilarious.

The sickness will go away soon. I'm glad that you can keep some food down.

mama_tulip said...

Absolutely normal. I behaved in ways I didn't think I knew how to behave both times I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with Julia I completely and totally freaked out on a delivery woman, who was delivering the other half of our order that never made it to our house the first time. Not her fault at all, but I lost it on her. I tore her a new asshole out there on the front porch...I still cringe when I think about it.

I hope you're feeling better soon. It's so hard to feel so sick...hang in, girl.

jo(e) said...

I think you ought to let yourself be angry at people when they do stuff to make you angry. Don't try to stifle it. Give yourself permission to be angry.

Seriously, it might help if you can think of what the hormones are doing as a good thing -- exaggerating emotions helps you get in touch with them. It's all good preparation for parenthood.

The nausea does suck. The great thing is that one of these days it will disappear suddenly, and the middle months are often just wonderful.

Songbird said...

I agree with the above. And I was never queasy after about 13 weeks. In fact, with my oldest, I basically felt fabulous from that point to the very end. May it be so for you!

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

You are totally normal.

Hell, why do you think I picked the name ANGRY Pregnant Lawyer to begin with years ago? 'Cause even little things would tick me off like they hadn't before.

It's definitely the hormones.

KLee said...

Yeah, I had the terrible mood swings, too. It's a part of pregnancy. When Josh tells you that you can "sex it off", tell him that you'll only participate if he puts a jumbo rubber band tightly around his testicles. That way, you can BOTH grit your teeth and enjoy it through the pain and nausea. He'll get the hint real fast.

Like everyone said -- don't beat yourself up about the hormone surges. Just know they're part of the deluxe package, and that they'll taper off. Also, so will the nausea. Pretty soon, you'll feel great, and you'll be full of baby and good spirits.

As for the people who give so-called friendly advice, tell them that you would never be so negative as to give a doom-and-gloom talk to a newly pregnant woman -- it's crass, and your mama taught you better than that!

Bethiclaus said...

It might go away. It could. Mine didn't.

Although I would have lost my shit on Andiclaus if he said that to me even when I wasn't pregnant.

claire (yt) said...

Hell I've never even been pregnant, and it sounds normal to me. Those are definitely piss-off-able things.

Chatty Cricket said...

Um, I once got so angry at Sweetie while pregnant with Lady that I got up off of the couch, walked over to where he was sitting, and poured my full glass of water over his head. Then I put the glass in the kitchen sink and went to bed without saying a word. I can't even remember what he did to make me so mad...probably put on a baseball game or something completely unreasonable like that.


But "sex it off?" Can't he remember how he felt like he was dying the ONE DAY he had food poisoning?

Chatty Cricket said...

Oh, and I also developed the most random and completely inappropriate potty mouth. I dropped more F-bombs while preggers with Lady that in my entire life up until then. And not just when I was angry, but in every day conversation ("This Tide to Go does a F-ing fantastic job on ketchup stains.")

Beth said...

yep - normal.

everything feels like your nerves are poking through your skin.

and klee's "you'll only participate if he puts a jumbo rubber band tightly around his testicles. That way, you can BOTH grit your teeth and enjoy it through the pain and nausea"

OMG - spit out my soda laughing at that one.

Ninotchka said...

OMG totally normal. That Josh is a real card. He and Guy have very similar sense of humor, I think. Don't they know they're dealing with hot blooded, hormonal Latinas? LOL

Hope you get to feeling better. My mood lifted later in the pregnancy (with Anna Sofia when I was at my worst) and I wasn't quite so psycho. Hope the same happens for you! And sooner too!


purple_kangaroo said...

Loved KLee's suggestion so much I had to read it aloud to DH. He didn't find it nearly as funny as I did, for some strange reason.

And, yes, it's perfectly normal. I hate to tell you, though, it may last for a while . . . like maybe the next year or so. Actually, it may get better in the second trimester--most likely it will. But then comes the end of pregnancy mood swings and then after that the sleep-deprivation-with-an-infant mood swings.

Kristin said...

Honey, you were so right to get angry at that rude dog handler lady AND at the one who told her you were pregnant. How she treated you was so evil, especially to a first-time mother. Blech. I hate her for you.

jen said...

um, am I the only one that would be pissed off at dog handler SANS horomones? I think I have a pretty long fuse but just reading that made me want to say "go fuck yourself. you werent supposed to know."

as far as the "sex it off" - FROM A DISTANCE - I can see why he thought he was funny (I'm osrry, just a teeny, teeny, miscoscopic bit). Though I think weeks of barfing or general feeling of same I mave have kicked him in the "love stick".

So case A- not hormones, just a case of condescending asshole being a condescending asshole. Case B - case of What is Not Quite the "BEST" Thing to Say to Your Illin' Wife.

Either way, I don't see this as a case of hormones.

Oh, I have no kids, so you know, take that for what it's worth.

Chris said...

yeah, totally normal.

I'm still waiting for my anger to disipate and it has been 11 years ;-)

ccw said...

Completely normal. It doesn't last, but seems to come in phases.

I hope that the nausea goes away soon.

And please tell Josh that sex is never the answer for a sick pregnant woman. I can't help but laugh because I know the reaction this would have illicted at my house.