Wednesday, April 19, 2006

while we're at it

Since I'm confessing things that make me want to throw things at my husband, I might as well tell you about another one of my pet peeves.

Every night, when I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, Josh INSISTS on coming in at the same time. This results in us fighting over the one sink and one faucet. This wouldn't be as big of a problem, if I didn't want lukewarm or warm water, and he wants freezing cold water.

You have to picture this- I start brushing with lukewarm water. He walks in, switches to cold, turns off the water. I have to turn warm water back on, and before I'm done rinsing my toothbrush, he switches to cold. Then I switch back to warm to rinse my mouth. He turns back to cold, but I still have to wash my face. At this point, I always get pissed. I try to turn it back to warm, and he won't let me, so I have to stand there and either start washing my face with cold, WHICH I HATE, or wait until he is done before I can switch it back. This drives me BONKERS. I just want him to wait the 30 seconds until I am done with the sink and then he can have it! But he refuses to listen, even when I've begged him to just give me my one minute of bathroom peace. Then he insists on peeing before I can pee, and I have to wait for the toilet too.

Is this because I am an only child? Am I so used to having my own sink and toilet that I can't learn to share? Tell me I'm not crazy. Or if I am, at least tell me nicely.

If you read a newspaper headline about a man beaten by his wife with her toothbrush, you'll know who it was.

26 comments:

mama_tulip said...

Ah, my soul sista. You're not crazy.

Dave does this to me *all the time*. I'll be in the bathroom doing whatever and he'll barge in and start doing his thing. Like, dude. I hardly EVER get to use the bathroom in peace. I always have a three-foot audience, ya know? Give me a break. There's another bathroom in this house, go use it.

You're not alone.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

Oh, dude. I would get in there and lock the f-ing door. :-)

Maybe I don't have these issues because I married an only child--we both need our space.

nancy said...

LOL - can the guy not just wait a couple of minutes? If it's the company, or that he can't bear to be without you, let him in, but make him wait...and wait...and wait...

or let him go first??

Chatty Cricket said...

Oh my poor HL. Did I tell you that when we had contractor #1 come in to look at our bathroom, he suggested "his" and "hers" sinks? I promptly informed Sweetie that any shared bathroom time would surely result in divorce.

Ninotchka said...

OK this would totally piss me off. I say, whoever gets to the bathroom first should get to use it first UNINTERRUPTED for a reasonable amount of time and then turn it over to whoever's next in line. Barring any gastrointestinal emergencies, of course.

You're not crazy. Not by a long shot. GRRRRR. (lol)

Phantom Scribbler said...

I'm with APL. Lock the door. Make farting noises if you need to scare him away.

susan said...

I have a wee bit o' sympathy for JOsh here, since I am big into togetherness with a partner who has much bigger needs for private space. But, I don't change the water temp, and I stay away from small bathrooms since there's only so much room in the sink.

So I'm with everyone else: lock the door. Or build a bigger bathroom, with two sinks. But locking the door is easier.

Maribeth said...

Husbands are like that. They think they are the only ones in the house. The other day I was watching TV. Nothing big, just the local news. Hubby comes in and changes the channel like I am just some dead body or something! I said, "Hey, I was watching that!" He said, "Oh, but the New Hampshire news is so stupid!" Then he ignored me. Sometimes it's better to just let it go....
So says dackelprincess on "How to stay married to the slob you married".

halloweenlover said...

I suspect that he could care less about the farting, and I've tried locking the door and then he stands and yells and bangs on the door with great indignity.

Hrumph.

Bad Andy said...

I'm not an only child and though I don't insist on togetherness I am beginning to understand private time. Bathroom culture is very interesting since (and I assume) it is very different for men and women. I think its about compromise. Take a large cup with you into the bathroom and fill it with warm water. Or you can make it a game. Turn the hot water on and tell him he has until it gets warm. If you do end up compromising say you have dibs on the throne. Even though most men think they are faster and for that reason they should go first, I don't think most men care to wait until it's done flushing (plus by the time we are done we can flush again).

KathyR said...

I was not an only child.

We have two sinks.

Nevertheless, my husband has been sufficiently cowed after 14 years with me to stay the hell out of the bathroom until I give him the go ahead.

Grrrowr!

Jessica said...

Hah! This cracks me up...and reminds me of me and my husband - only I'm the one with the cold water and he's the one with the warm.

Anne Glamore said...

My husband wipes the toothpaste fuzz on the towel instead of rinsing it off his mouth with water and THEN wiping his mouth on the towel. If I haven't mentioned this after 13 years, has the statute of limitations run out??

liz said...

Oooh, Anne! My husband does that too!!!!! That is why he has towels that are completely different from mine. NO WAY he's gonna stiffen up my towels with old icky mouth leavings.

HL, don't you have two bathrooms? Why isn't he using the other one? He should at least not change the water temp. That's just plain rude.

Limon de Campo said...

I caught my husband putting mouthwash in his mouth, meandering downstairs to the kitchen, and then spitting in the kitchen sink. Ewww. I'm seeking revenge by telling the internets, just as you have done.

P.S. If you have a poor singing voice, it works to use it at high volume. I can clear a whole room in no time flat.

stella said...

you def. need another sink.

this is hilarious!!!

we have two for this reason.

and i live in atlanta. im ready for lessons.

Jill said...

Oh, I hear you, sister. My husband does the SAME THING to me and it bugs me, too. (It's a good thing that he's cute!)

Then again, I was basically raised as an only child, too, since my siblings were basically grown up by the time I was born...so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

amygeekgrl said...

LOL
i feel your pain.
i'm a warm water brusher and jody (when he brushes his teeth) uses cold. plus i turn the water off while i'm brushing and he tends to leave it running.
and...we only have 1 sink as well.
/sigh
maybe someday we will each have 2 sinks so we don't have to worry about our husband's crazy toothbrushing antics any more. :)

Suzanne said...

Can you brush your teeth in the kitchen sink just to make a statement, or is that just too icky a proposition? (Not saying that your sink is unclean :), just that certain tasks seem like they belong in certain rooms...)

Sarcomical said...

oh no my dear. i say you are NOT crazy. tell him to go in first if that helps settle it. ;)

he must REALLY want to be close to you. ;)

Joke said...

Try this:

"Touch the faucet and you'll draw a bloody stump."

Failing that, let him go first. Better yet, MAKE him go first.

We're not THAT clueless a sex, Ah Sweah.

-J.

jo(e) said...

I'm not an only child -- and I'm used to living in communal living situations -- and THAT WOULD DRIVE ME NUTS.

Lock the door. And ignore him.

He ought to respect your boundaries and need for personal space.

peripateticpolarbear said...

I'd put him in time out.

Kris said...

you inspired my post last week! I forgot temporarily that you inspired me, but now I remember.

I would so lock the door. Lock the door! :)

Yankee T said...

1. Insist he get in, get out, get done, and then take it yourself or
2. Lock the frickin' door.

You hold him, I'll hit him.

Kristin said...

How infuriating! It does sound like he just wants to be with you, but that's no excuse. As a non-only child, it sounds remarkably similar to what siblings do when they antagonize each other. Like if I wanted attention from my sister, I couldn't admit that. I would just pick a fight instead.