where did all this STUFF come from?

I have clearly lost my mind.

I don't have enough with two children, two dogs, a husband who is always working, a house falling apart around me, and dust bunnies threatening to take over. Now I'm also considering selling our house.

Somebody, hold me.

We spent this weekend crunching the numbers, and we think now might be a good time for us to try to make the jump to a slightly bigger house. Our town hasn't suffered much in this real estate market, but it hasn't grown much either. If we can just break even, we're thinking that we can get far more for our money in another town (maybe even another bedroom, which would be great since our parents are sleeping on an air mattress in our living room when they visit).

When we initially decided, I almost peed my pants with excitement. Then reality set in. We have SO MUCH to do before this house could be ready to put on the market, not to mention trying to keep it clean with a five month old and a two year old. I want to cry just thinking about it. We need to paint the exterior, paint all the trim in the house, paint all the radiators, empty out the basement, paint the basement, carpet the basement, and none of that includes emptying the house of all our junk. And we have a lot of junk.

I've almost thrown the idea out the window multiple times, but I keep coming back to the fact that we really need more space. I love our house, but we are squished to the gills in here. We climbed the stairs last night and the creaking steps were so loud Josie woke up screaming. Then Gabe made too much noise in his room this morning and Josie woke up again. We are in such cramped quarters, every noise is magnified.

Still, this is our first home. I tore up carpet, took down wallpaper, painted every wall in this house. We remodeled the kitchen exactly how we wanted it, decorated every room the way we'd dreamed it, struggled over the grass and the garden. I brought both of my babies home to this little place, and every inch of it is crammed with happiness. It'll be hard to leave.

First things first, though, a real estate agent came over today to talk numbers, and she is coming over again on Monday with a final price and a marketing plan. If the number we are hoping for and the number she proposes are too far apart, then all of this is a no go. We'll be on pins and needles all weekend, and in the meantime, I'll be decluttering and finishing projects like a woman on a mission. Even if we decide not to sell, I need to capitalize on our motivation and get as much done as possible. Wish me luck, and then tell me I'm not totally insane. Maybe just a little?