I'm boarding a jet plane

I just booked my ticket for a trip to visit my parents in California, then on to visit my in-laws in Florida, then back to Boston from Florida. On this trip I will have actual ASSISTANCE with both of my children for the full three weeks I am gone. Perhaps I will go to a movie, or take a shower without someone screaming from the other side of the shower curtain, or maybe even go out to dinner! With adults! Oh, the possibilities.

Josh will not be accompanying me on this trip, which means that although I will have help once we land, I will travel alone with both kids. This also means that I am NOT bringing the dogs with me because I am brave but not CRAZY. You cannot even imagine the hilarity that ensues when I travel with Gabe and the dogs and have to take all three through the security line, especially pregnant.

I'd unbuckle Gabe from his car seat/stroller combo, take off his shoes, ask him to stand RIGHT HERE while I open the dog's bag, ask Gabe to NO COME BACK AND STAND RIGHT HERE, take out one dog, tell Gabe to COME BACK HERE, take out the other dog while the first dog is squirming and trying to jump out of my arms, run over and pull Gabe back to where we are standing, tell 4 people to go ahead of us in the line, ask Gabe to PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAND HERE, load the dog bag and the rest of our bags and the car seat/stroller combo on the belt, direct Gabe through the line, discover that the car seat/stroller combo doesn't fit through the belt, take it off the belt and ask for the hand check, turn around to find that Gabe has run away and is climbing on the stacks of plastic baskets, drag him back over and push him through the security check in front of me, and remember that all of this is with two squirming dogs in my arms who are both trying to get down and scratching each other and me in the process, walk through the security line, wait for the bags, drop one of the dogs, pick the dog back up while the second dog is holding on for dear life, promise Gabe cookies if only he'll stand right here for another minute, get one dog into the bag, get the other dog into the bag, put both of our shoes back on, get the car seat back and strap Gabe back in and then start the two mile walk to the last gate in the airport, because we always, always get assigned to the last gate. By the time we board the plane, I'm always a disheveled, nauseous, hot and sweaty mess, and we haven't even begun the trip.

I feel a little sick just thinking about it. And imagining that disaster with TWO kids and two dogs and one me is beyond even my capabilities. I thought about adding them to our reservation because they really do love to visit California and Florida since they love the heat, but Josh wouldn't even discuss it. Because he loves me and would like for me to come back sane.

I'm not worried about the trip, at least not yet, and I figure I will just throw Josie into the sling and take Gabe in his car seat/stroller combo thing, and check the double stroller at the check-in desk. I'm going to ignore the fact that she does not, at this point in time, like the sling, and we'll just hope for the best. On the plane, it'll be the first time we've purchased a seat for Gabe and I plan to strap him into his car seat for the 5 hour flight and not even TOUCH the straps until we land. He can eat whatever he wants, play whatever he wants, watch 5 straight hours of television on the dvd player, but NO ONE is getting down. It may actually work because I've never let him down on an airplane, so he doesn't even seem to realize that walking on the plane is a possibility. I plan to keep it that way until he is a teenager, at least.

Best of all, there will be no snow in both California and Florida, and perhaps there will even be sunshine and vitamin D. Also, lots of assistance from grandparents whose sole purpose in life is to make and keep my children happy. It should be great. I'm counting down the days.