Wednesday, July 26, 2006

lots on the brain

1. Last night we attended a cooking class for Argentinean Barbecue at our local community center. I'm not sure why I planned this, since I could probably teach a class on Argentinean Barbecue, but Josh's birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I thought he'd like it. In theory, it could have been fun, but I found myself internally correcting the teachers at times. It was obnoxious, even to me, and it took something away from the class. Josh had fun, though, and so did two of our friends that came along. That is the important part.

2. Tomorrow is our big ultrasound, the one where they look at all the parts. Up until now, I've convinced myself that finding out the sex of this wee baby is not an option. It just isn't. Josh and I agreed that it was a surprise, and we're just not finding out. But for some reason, knowing that I could find out tomorrow is a little bit like torture. I really don't want to. I really want a surprise. I really think that waiting until the birth will be better for me. Still, a tiny part of me is screaming, "HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND OUT?!?!"

3. Yesterday my mom asked me if I talk to the baby all the time. Umm, I don't. Does this make me a bad mom already? I think about him or her all the time, and I keep being surprised by these little movements and teeny kicks. Sometimes I am in someone's office and out of the blue feel the tap, and it feels like this delicious secret between the baby and I. I almost cannot believe that other people don't realize this is happening. But I'm not talking to the baby, and I'm barely keeping up with my belly journal that asks me for thoughts and feelings. Is this strange?

4. Is it possible that my belly is growing by the day? Seriously? I think it is bigger since Sunday.


rose said...

I felt like such a bad mom for never talking to the baby, but it just felt weird! We did read to the belly every so often. And I had a stuffed animal that had a music box that I 'played' to the belly alot. But talking, not so much.
As for the not finding out? I just don't GET that. What is the difference between being surprised now or in 20 weeks? I couldn't wait to find out. Plus, I REALLY wanted a girl, so I figured I'd need at least 20 weeks to get used to the idea of having a boy if that was what the baby was. I couldn't stand the thought of feeling even a twinge of disapointment on the day of the baby's birth. In the end we had a girl and my husband was the one who was able to take time to adjust.

Nancy said...

Good luck with the ultrasound. My husband and I enjoyed the surprise of waiting until the babies were born (both our girls) to find out the gender, so that of course was our preference -- but you have to do what feels right for you.

halloweenlover said...

Oh we're definitely NOT finding out, but the suspense is killing me just a little bit.

mc said...

I didn't really talk to the baby, either. And when we tried to read to her (yep, we found out ahead of time, for reasons similar to rose's), it seemed so silly that we would laugh really hard and not be able to finish the book.

Even worse? We haven't read to her much since she's been born. It's hard to engage a sleeping infant in books, no matter how swell they are.

Rev Dr Mom said...

While it's true that the baby will learn to recognize your voice, I'm not sure that it is necessary for you to talk to him/her....s/he will hear your voice when you are talking to others--but not at this point in your pregnancy. Likewise, I'm not sure that reading to a fetus is important developmentally (unless there has been a major developmental finding since I quit teaching four years ago, which is possible I suppose).

Phantom Scribbler said...

I didn't read to my fetuses. Wait- do you suppose that's why they're not big readers now???

Happy almost birthday!

Anne Glamore said...

Was I supposed to read to the babies in the WOMB? And talk to them in the WOMB?? Ok- I didn't, and no one seems to be suffering- they all speak english fluently and have learned to read and write.

And Yep-- I love surprises. Even 2 penises at once, which was QUITE a surprise.

KLee said...

See -- I admire you for not finding out. I *had* to know. It was KILLING me not to know. And at every ultrasound (every! freaking! one!)the sex was obscured. The baby would have a hand in the way, or the leg would be up and obscure the genital region. In the last ultrasound, the doc discovered that I was frank breech, and we had to stop the ultrasound to schedule an external version (a nice little slice of hell I won't bore you with.) I never did get to see the baby's sex until birth. We had guesses, but the technicians were always quick to tell us that it was only a "guess." When she was born, I felt her slip from my body, and my first question was: "What is it?" The doc, not understanding that I was looking for the sex, said - "A very small human. Does this surprise you?"

I didn't really talk to her until I was pretty well along. I would often tell her to stop doing the watusi on my bladder, or to please not make Mommy sick when I eat this noce, lovely pizza. I didn't think it was weird, but I didn't settle into that rhythm until I was MUCH further along, and could really fell the baby rolling around in there. Being that big made it much more real, somehow.

amygeekgrl said...

good luck sticking to your guns about not finding out the sex. i think i would crack under the pressure. ;)

i didn't start talking to ava until i was towards the end of my pregnancy and, even then, it felt weird to me. i thought about her lots and i sometimes sang to her (when i was alone in the car), and we read to her once in a while, but it did feel weird to talk to her.

and i don't talk to baby boy hardly at all either, though ava talks to him often and gives him lots of kisses thru my belly so i think that makes up for it. ;)

Bad Andy said...

I didn't talk to the belly (not at first)... surely not in public. It's hard enough with everyone wanting to touch it, why draw even more attention to it.

I eventually started talking to the belly. Only after a series of interaction including feeling some kicks and seeing parts protruding out. I began to realize that I had much quality time to catch up with compared to the mamas.

Its weird talking to the belly. It's weird talking to the baby once it is born. It gets easier once they start making sounds. But I am guessing the belly isn't making sounds (at least not the sounds you wish to talk with).

ccw said...

I very rarely talked to the belly. Nor did we ever read, play music, etc specifically for my belly. Closer to the end of each pregnancy I found myself talking at times, but to sit around and entertain my bump - never happened.

I admire your patience on being able to wait. With the girls I had to know and with Nonami I was going to wait, but once there I had to know and it was rather obvious that something was going on down there.

Chatty Cricket said...

Not strange in the least. I used to talk to Lady in my head, as though she could hear me through some secret internal connectio, but never outloud. Same thing with this baby. I tried to talk to Lady out loud a couple of times, but I always felt a little funny about it. I didn't sing or read either, but I did listen to music (but not with headphones on my belly). I didn't keep a pregnancy journal either. And also, I've been pretty bad about keeping up with Lady's baby book. She apparently did absolutely nothing during months 9, 10, and 11, which we all know is not true in the least. But there's nothing in her baby book!

twoxthefun said...

I didn't talk to my baby either. I don't think it will make you a bad mom. My husband did and he read to my belly. I just found it odd.

We couldn't find out the sex of our baby. WE wanted to know and I was all excited the day of the ultrasound. Then once I got in there and everything look good. She said I can't tell if it's a boy or girl. That was ok because I was certain I was having a boy. The suppence and surprise were priceless when the baby was finally born. The baby came out and I looked at my husband and said, "What is it? He said, A GIRL. We were shocked, she was the first girl on his side of the family in 50 years. It was such a great surprise.

Jill said...

I am glad that things are going well and wish you all the best at your exciting ultrasound.

R said...

G/L with your ultrasound. I couldn't NOT find out the sex, far too much yellow and green riding on that. Blue or Pink, you know? I just wanted to get the show on the road already.

Karyn said...

Yeah... your child will hear your voice plenty - s/he has no idea if you are talking to him/her or to a client, so don't worry about it.

Pregnancy nullifies all expectations of what is normal. If your belly appears to grow daily then you're probably right!

And for the record, I almost got thrown out of the ultrasound room for waffling so long over whether or not I wanted to know the gender. In the end, I decided not to know. It was absolute torture but if I were to do it again tomorrow, which I'm not, I would take the same path and not find out ahead of time. So few surprises work out beautifully either way.

Congratulations to you!

liz said...

Talk to it or not, not such a big deal. I wrote notes to Muffin Man: stuff like, "Please stop kicking my bladder, sweetheart!"

I would have been fine not finding out the sex but I hated the thought that the doctor would know something about the baby that I didn't.

Jessica said...

I love that you aren't finding out. To each their own but that is the best (in my opinion).

I also love the way you described the private moments of feeling the baby move - just the way I remember it from 16 years ago.

When do we get a new belly pic?