Monday, April 09, 2007

3 months (very belated)

Dear Gabriel,

I'm very late in writing this month's letter, but I do have a good excuse. This month you took your first flight, and then your second flight, and then your third flight- all within three weeks. You visited your Nonna and Nonno in California while your Daddy went to Russia on a school trip, and then you visited your Bubbi and Saba in Florida for the holidays. It's a shame the airline won't give you a frequent flier number for traveling on my lap, because you'd be halfway to a free ticket by now.

I've also been avoiding thinking about this letter, because hitting three months old means that you are no longer considered a newborn. You're an infant now. I'm sure you'll laugh when you can read this, because the difference might seem silly to you. To me, though, it seems like night and day. My blobby, sweet, calm newborn is gone. In his place is a smiling, bubbly, chatty baby. A baby with rolls and dimples, a baby that doesn't have the jerky movements of a newborn, a baby that lights up when I walk into a room.

You laughed for the first time this month. You babble in response to my conversation. You prop yourself up on your arms and kick your feet during tummy time. You've found your hands and watch them intently for minutes on end. One day you could only stare up at your toys, the next day you could swat at them, and the next day you reached up and grabbed them. Watching you is like watching miracles take place. I can almost see your brain making new connections every day, and I am so grateful for this gift.

I guess that every mother thinks her baby is the most beautiful, wonderful, sweetest baby who ever graced the earth, and this mother is no different. I find you remarkable and marvelous and I smother you with kisses all day. I would think you would become annoyed at the attention, but instead you become very still and melt into my arms as I pepper you with tiny kisses. Your Nonna says that you almost deflate in my arms- you obviously recognize and enjoy the love. You've even started opening your mouth as I bend over you to give you a kiss or to press my cheek against yours. You will screech and giggle if I bend over slowly and hesitate before giving you a snuggle.

Your daddy was away from you for two long weeks while he went on his school trip to Russia, and it was terrible for the three of us to have to be apart. I worried that perhaps you would forget who he was, but the second he picked us up at the airport, your little face lit up and you began your stream of chatter. You love your daddy, and trust me sweet boy, the feeling is mutual. He can't get enough of you.

I saw one of my childhood friends while we were in California, and she is pregnant with her first child. She asked me whether all this was worth it, whether I liked being a mother. I paused for a moment to answer, and felt my eyes fill with tears. I understood in that second what everyone tried to tell me when I was pregnant, that what awaited her was this magical, amazing thing that couldn't be put into words. I can't wait for her to discover it too.

My life was wonderful before, but this life is incomparable. You've made your father and me so happy. Our days are filled with laughter. Thank you for being you, sweet boy.

We love you,


Angie said...

He gets cuter by the day! You haven't really written about it but I wonder about you returning to work and your plans for the baby. Am I too nosey? Sorry!

Knitting Mama said...

Hey N! I was wondering what happened to your updates, then I realized somehow you were not in my anymore - so I had to search for your blogspot linK! Geez - no idea how that happened! Well - I'm off to go catch up on the last couple of weeks that I've missed!!