thank you

Thank you so much for the well-wishes, I'm touched that you are still checking in, despite the sporadic blogging.

I wish I could say things are better, but they are most definitely not. In fact, these last few days have been the worst I've seen in any pregnancy. Things are just bad. Terrible. Horrid. I really, really, really feel like I can't throw up anymore, I can't feel sick anymore. I need a break.

Even in the nauseous gloom, though, there are moments of great joy. I wanted to keep the pregnancy a secret from the kids until much later because I hate the idea of them feeling anxious about it, but Gabe came up to me yesterday and shoved on my stomach. When I asked him why, he said he was checking to see if there was a baby in there. Josh and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and knew we had to tell him. The response was fairly anticlimactic, but they've been full of questions today. How will it come out? What if it gets stuck? Where will it sleep? What will we name it? Does it have feet? Can I touch it?

I'm trying to downplay the whole thing, really, because May 4th is an eternity away. Even for me. I can't imagine what it must be to a 2 and 4 year old. One day at a time, I guess. And I'll keep wishing for a vomit free day. Sigh.