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I took Tango and Murray in for a check-up on Friday and had another long talk (just one of several) with the veterinarian and the behavioral consultant. The consensus from everyone is that the best thing for the dogs is to go stay with our family friend, at least for a while, and see if things improve for them. The veterinarian felt that their health was actually deteriorating- Murray had lost weight, their heart rates were up, they seemed more stressed and nervous (both the vet and the vet technician commented on that), they seemed needier and more unhappy. Tango also has started to develop cataracts, which explains his extreme terror around the kids. He may not be able to see what they are doing clearly, and so everything surprises them and he lives in a constant state of fear.
My mom walked in the door from her flight after not having seen them for 6 months and asked, "what's wrong with Tango?" The change was obvious to her within 20 minutes. She said she hadn't seen him wag his tail and all he did was cower in the corner. A friend commented on the same thing the other day when he came to visit.
The bottom line, as the behavioral consultant keeps hammering home to me, is that sometimes you have to do the best thing for the dogs, even when it isn't what you want to do. We have to ensure they never ever bite the kids, and that means removing them from the current situation.
The plan is for our friend to come pick up the dogs tomorrow (Monday) and they'll go home with her. We'll keep evaluating as the days go by, but we're hoping we see an immediate improvement in them. If they seem dramatically happier, then they'll stay. If it doesn't work, they'll come back and then I don't know what we'll do.
I'm heartsick just thinking about tomorrow.
Making matters worse, Josh is away for the week in Germany and was supposed to be home today but has been delayed because of the storm. It is looking like he won't be here when she comes, and won't get to say his goodbyes to the dogs.
My mantra every moment I think about Tango and Murray leaving (which is approximately every 5 minutes) is that we are doing the best thing for the dogs. And the best thing for the kids. They shouldn't live with me yelling at them all the time either, which is what I've been doing because the dogs are so terrified all the time, I'm constantly managing everyone. I have to believe this is the right thing to do, and I have to believe the veterinarian and the behavioral consultant wouldn't tell me it was the right thing to do if it wasn't. If there was an alternative.
Still, tomorrow is going to be a fucking nightmare. I prayed and hoped it would never come to this. But this is the best thing for everyone.
It's the best thing for everyone.
It's the best thing for everyone.
Showing posts with label puppilicious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puppilicious. Show all posts
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
adoption
The woman came over, and it was good. Or I should say, as good as this whole situation could be. She loves the dogs, and she had a Brussels Griffon puppy who passed away, so she is desperate to shower her love and attention on new dogs. She and her fiance won't be having any children (both in their late 40s and 50s) and the house would be all doggy, all the time. She even received clearance from her boss to bring the dogs to work with her, which I know they would love. They seemed to like her and kept going over to say hello and bring her toys and all that.
All of this doesn't make it any easier to contemplate not having Tango and Murray anymore. When I think about it from their perspective, the decision seems clear. They are clearly unhappy, clearly stressed, clearly and obviously do not like the kids. It has been 3 years, and they just aren't adjusting and in fact, it seems to be getting worse. Gabe walked into the room yesterday afternoon, and Tango got so stressed from seeing him 5 feet away, he pooped on the couch. Josh stepped in pee in the front hallway, right after they went for a walk. They cower behind the downstairs bathroom toilet if the kids make too much noise or start getting too rowdy, even if they aren't remotely near the dogs. The only time they seem happy is when the kids are napping or asleep for the night.
From my perspective, though, it is much harder. I feel like such a failure because I can't find a way to make this work. People have kids all the time and their dogs learn to adjust, so why can't mine? I can't bear the thought of them continuing to be unhappy, but I also can't bear the thought of abandoning them with someone else. I cannot believe they will grow old in someone else's home, in someone else's life. They are my dogs and I love them and I selfishly want to keep them, and I keep believing that a magical solution will come along to make things better.
I told Josh last night- I don't know if I can do this. I think they would be happier without kids around, but can I really let them go?
All of this doesn't make it any easier to contemplate not having Tango and Murray anymore. When I think about it from their perspective, the decision seems clear. They are clearly unhappy, clearly stressed, clearly and obviously do not like the kids. It has been 3 years, and they just aren't adjusting and in fact, it seems to be getting worse. Gabe walked into the room yesterday afternoon, and Tango got so stressed from seeing him 5 feet away, he pooped on the couch. Josh stepped in pee in the front hallway, right after they went for a walk. They cower behind the downstairs bathroom toilet if the kids make too much noise or start getting too rowdy, even if they aren't remotely near the dogs. The only time they seem happy is when the kids are napping or asleep for the night.
From my perspective, though, it is much harder. I feel like such a failure because I can't find a way to make this work. People have kids all the time and their dogs learn to adjust, so why can't mine? I can't bear the thought of them continuing to be unhappy, but I also can't bear the thought of abandoning them with someone else. I cannot believe they will grow old in someone else's home, in someone else's life. They are my dogs and I love them and I selfishly want to keep them, and I keep believing that a magical solution will come along to make things better.
I told Josh last night- I don't know if I can do this. I think they would be happier without kids around, but can I really let them go?
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
literally and figuratively stinks
It's easy for me to blog about the things that are funny or annoying, frustrating or interesting. The stuff that really hurts, though, I always find myself holding back. It isn't a conscious thing, I'll just realize that days have gone by without me posting, and I know it is because I don't want to talk about the giant big (Gabe's favorite phrase) elephant in the room.
In this case, it's the dogs.
It just isn't working.
I kept telling myself that our problems with the dogs would be resolved once we were done moving and packing and selling the house, and our frustrations would magically disappear. I called the behavioral consultant, I tried walking them more often, playing with them a bit more, giving them their own private space, locking them out of our way for a while every day, letting them outside more often. I have yelled at Gabe more times than I'd like to remember for harassing them or chasing them or kicking them. I've cleaned up so many messes in the old house and the new house without saying a word to Josh because his frustration level is 3 times mine with regard to the dogs.
But still, things just stink.
As soon as we moved into the new house, despite taking them out several times a day, the accidents began happening right away. In one night, 4 pee accidents on the dining room rug. In one afternoon, poop in the kitchen, the living room, the front hallway, and the dining room. The dogs dislike the kids, but won't stay away from them, so I end up yelling at everyone because the dogs snap at the kids, the kids won't leave them alone, and the dogs won't leave the room.
Worst of all, the dogs seem anxious and sad. I know what they want- they want the life they had before we had kids, when I came home from work and played with them for a couple of hours, cooked their food, took them everywhere with us, slept with them in our room, but I can't give them that life anymore. The truth is the kids are here and I'm doing my best, and nobody is happy with the way things are going.
Josh is the most frustrated of all, and we regularly have arguments because I'm clinging to the idea that it will get better, and he is far beyond that point. A family friend would love to take the dogs, a middle-aged couple with no kids, and he thinks that is the best place for them. It kills me, though, and I'm drowning with guilt. I've probably cried every day for a week, anytime the subject comes up, and I simply cannot fathom not having Tango and Murray anymore. They were my babies! I pampered them in a totally insane, ridiculously extravagant way. I used to cry at the thought of them growing old. I have heaps of dog toys and sweaters and leashes and accessories. I love them, I do. I feel like I'm holding on to this life, though, while everyone else around me is unhappy.
Just tonight, about 10 minutes after they went out, the dogs pooped once in the living room and twice in the kitchen. I ended up stepping in the poop and tracked it throughout the house. Then I discovered that Josie had crawled through another area of poop and had it all over her hands and knees. I finally found it caked into one of Gabe's toys, smeared all over the cloth wheels and side of one of his favorite school buses.
I can't live like this, and the dogs shouldn't have to live locked in the kitchen or the bathroom or the basement, or wherever else I lock them when I just can't do it anymore.
Maybe this makes me a shitty dog owner, and trust me when I tell you, I'm consumed with enough guilt for all of us. Maybe, though, if I meet this couple, if I let Josh bring them in, maybe the dogs will be happier, maybe I'll be less stressed, maybe Josh will yell less, maybe we'll argue less over this.
I'm at the end of my rope on this, and I wish someone would just tell me the right thing to do.
In this case, it's the dogs.
It just isn't working.
I kept telling myself that our problems with the dogs would be resolved once we were done moving and packing and selling the house, and our frustrations would magically disappear. I called the behavioral consultant, I tried walking them more often, playing with them a bit more, giving them their own private space, locking them out of our way for a while every day, letting them outside more often. I have yelled at Gabe more times than I'd like to remember for harassing them or chasing them or kicking them. I've cleaned up so many messes in the old house and the new house without saying a word to Josh because his frustration level is 3 times mine with regard to the dogs.
But still, things just stink.
As soon as we moved into the new house, despite taking them out several times a day, the accidents began happening right away. In one night, 4 pee accidents on the dining room rug. In one afternoon, poop in the kitchen, the living room, the front hallway, and the dining room. The dogs dislike the kids, but won't stay away from them, so I end up yelling at everyone because the dogs snap at the kids, the kids won't leave them alone, and the dogs won't leave the room.
Worst of all, the dogs seem anxious and sad. I know what they want- they want the life they had before we had kids, when I came home from work and played with them for a couple of hours, cooked their food, took them everywhere with us, slept with them in our room, but I can't give them that life anymore. The truth is the kids are here and I'm doing my best, and nobody is happy with the way things are going.
Josh is the most frustrated of all, and we regularly have arguments because I'm clinging to the idea that it will get better, and he is far beyond that point. A family friend would love to take the dogs, a middle-aged couple with no kids, and he thinks that is the best place for them. It kills me, though, and I'm drowning with guilt. I've probably cried every day for a week, anytime the subject comes up, and I simply cannot fathom not having Tango and Murray anymore. They were my babies! I pampered them in a totally insane, ridiculously extravagant way. I used to cry at the thought of them growing old. I have heaps of dog toys and sweaters and leashes and accessories. I love them, I do. I feel like I'm holding on to this life, though, while everyone else around me is unhappy.
Just tonight, about 10 minutes after they went out, the dogs pooped once in the living room and twice in the kitchen. I ended up stepping in the poop and tracked it throughout the house. Then I discovered that Josie had crawled through another area of poop and had it all over her hands and knees. I finally found it caked into one of Gabe's toys, smeared all over the cloth wheels and side of one of his favorite school buses.
I can't live like this, and the dogs shouldn't have to live locked in the kitchen or the bathroom or the basement, or wherever else I lock them when I just can't do it anymore.
Maybe this makes me a shitty dog owner, and trust me when I tell you, I'm consumed with enough guilt for all of us. Maybe, though, if I meet this couple, if I let Josh bring them in, maybe the dogs will be happier, maybe I'll be less stressed, maybe Josh will yell less, maybe we'll argue less over this.
I'm at the end of my rope on this, and I wish someone would just tell me the right thing to do.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I'm preemptively cringing at the emails I'm going to get
I haven't blogged much about the dogs, because I'm not sure what to say. As far as the accidents indoors, we've pretty much remedied it. We have absolutely no rugs in the bathrooms or kitchens, since that seems to be the root of the problem. Last week when it was raining nonstop I put a towel down to wipe their paws and within an hour Murray had peed all over it. It is frustrating, but I live without bathroom rugs and I tossed the kitchen rug in the trash because Murray wouldn't stop peeing on it. The front hall rug is the same, but I refuse to get rid of it and just watch him like a hawk. I keep them out of the carpeted basement, and I occasionally clean up messes in the living room and dining room.
Although it isn't a perfect situation, I consider the retraining a relative success because the vast majority of the time I live without indoor accidents. I still feel frustrated, though, because Murray dislikes Gabe and Gabe finds the two dogs irresistible so I spend a good chunk of the day yelling at either the dogs or Gabe. For a while I was locking the dogs in the kitchen to prevent the chasing, but lately I've been trying to keep the dogs in their bed and Gabe away from the dogs. It's hard and Gabe gets sent to time out several times a day for bothering the dogs, but it is the best I can manage right now.
Josh on the other hand, continues to be anti-dogs. He is perpetually annoyed by their behavior (because truthfully, they don't listen anymore), he hates cleaning up after them, feeding them, and is exhausted from the constant correcting. It is a source of friction between us and we seem to be constantly arguing about the dogs, to the point that I banished them as a topic of conversation because it is stressing me out too much.
I'm not sure what the solution is, because as I said to him today only half-jokingly, I feel like the dogs are going to drive us to divorce. I have taken over the vast majority of the dog responsibilities, but he continues to feel angry and exhausted by the few responsibilities that fall to him.
Bottom line, he wants to get rid of them. I don't. Or at least, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt over the fact that we made a commitment to these dogs who played a huge part in our lives up until we had kids. I cannot believe we are becoming THOSE people. I never thought I would ever consider getting rid of the dogs, but this is where we are. If it were up to me, I would keep them and deal with the annoyance and the frustration, but I can't keep fighting with my husband over this. It is too exhausting.
I'm not sure what we'll do, since the idea of not having them is surreal. One thought is to beg my parents to keep them for a few months until we get past this whole house-selling, possibly moving, very young baby and toddler, crisis mode we are living in, and in the meantime we reevaluate. Maybe at the end of this little trial separation Josh will decide the dogs aren't as much work as he thought, maybe he won't. Maybe my parents will love having the dogs (doubt it), maybe they won't. At least we won't have this constant source of conflict for a little while.
Ugh, it is a horrible situation and I feel like such a shitty dog owner for letting it come to this, but I'm at my wit's end.
Although it isn't a perfect situation, I consider the retraining a relative success because the vast majority of the time I live without indoor accidents. I still feel frustrated, though, because Murray dislikes Gabe and Gabe finds the two dogs irresistible so I spend a good chunk of the day yelling at either the dogs or Gabe. For a while I was locking the dogs in the kitchen to prevent the chasing, but lately I've been trying to keep the dogs in their bed and Gabe away from the dogs. It's hard and Gabe gets sent to time out several times a day for bothering the dogs, but it is the best I can manage right now.
Josh on the other hand, continues to be anti-dogs. He is perpetually annoyed by their behavior (because truthfully, they don't listen anymore), he hates cleaning up after them, feeding them, and is exhausted from the constant correcting. It is a source of friction between us and we seem to be constantly arguing about the dogs, to the point that I banished them as a topic of conversation because it is stressing me out too much.
I'm not sure what the solution is, because as I said to him today only half-jokingly, I feel like the dogs are going to drive us to divorce. I have taken over the vast majority of the dog responsibilities, but he continues to feel angry and exhausted by the few responsibilities that fall to him.
Bottom line, he wants to get rid of them. I don't. Or at least, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt over the fact that we made a commitment to these dogs who played a huge part in our lives up until we had kids. I cannot believe we are becoming THOSE people. I never thought I would ever consider getting rid of the dogs, but this is where we are. If it were up to me, I would keep them and deal with the annoyance and the frustration, but I can't keep fighting with my husband over this. It is too exhausting.
I'm not sure what we'll do, since the idea of not having them is surreal. One thought is to beg my parents to keep them for a few months until we get past this whole house-selling, possibly moving, very young baby and toddler, crisis mode we are living in, and in the meantime we reevaluate. Maybe at the end of this little trial separation Josh will decide the dogs aren't as much work as he thought, maybe he won't. Maybe my parents will love having the dogs (doubt it), maybe they won't. At least we won't have this constant source of conflict for a little while.
Ugh, it is a horrible situation and I feel like such a shitty dog owner for letting it come to this, but I'm at my wit's end.
Monday, March 16, 2009
zzzzz
I told Josh today that I feel like I am just plugging up holes with bubble gum or something. Once I get one kid under control, another one sprouts another leak! Last night Josh noticed Murray (the dog) shaking his head and when he checked his ears, one of them was red and inflamed and generally looking icky. I wish he hadn't shown it to me, because it looked so awful that it took me ages to fall asleep last night because I felt so guilty I hadn't noticed it before.
This morning, I took him to the vet and it turns out he has allergies. He is currently on ear drops, ear ointment, a strict ear washing regimen, eye ointment, and Benadryl. Both of his ears have yeast infections, and his eyes and skin are inflamed from some kind of allergy. Obviously, what I really needed these days was more work for me, but such is life with 2 kids and 2 dogs. The "check engine" light to my car also came on over the weekend, but thankfully it was nothing major.
I did make what I hope is a major discovery for Josie today, though. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that Josie rarely sleeps. We might wake up in the morning, run multiple errands, get in and out of the car, drive for up to 20 minutes at a time, and she won't nap. Everyone comments on how alert and awake she is, and how long that alertness lasts, but it is truly excessive. Getting her to nap is such an ordeal- it can take up to an hour and a half just to get her to nap for 15-25 minutes. Bedtime is beyond absurd. Yesterday I started the routine at 7:30 and she was down at 10pm. By the time 10pm rolled around, I was cross-eyed from exhaustion, but I hate to put her down and go to bed immediately afterward. I need a least a little bit of downtime before turning in for the night.
Today it occurred to me to check the side effects for the ranitidine she has been taking for the acid reflux. Guess what one of the side effects is? Insomnia.
So today I took a risk, and didn't give her the medicine. She has been faithfully taking the probiotics for about a week now, and I figured that if she got incredibly fussy, I'd just catch her up on the ranitidine dose.
Miracle of miracles, she did great. She napped. Really napped, like a regular baby. First in the car, then in her stroller, then in her bassinet for TWO HOURS this afternoon! It's been weeks since she's taken a halfway decent nap. She was totally well-rested, which meant she hardly cried today and smiled repeatedly and easily. She sat in her swing and bouncy chair and didn't even scream! It was an excellent day.
Now, I know it could be a fluke, and trust me, I've been let down before when I think we've turned a corner when we haven't, but I can't help hoping. I know this child is dangerously overtired, and I HAVE to figure out a way to get her to sleep. It still took me FOREVER to get her down for each of those naps, and especially down for bed tonight, but at least I didn't have to do it 4 times in a row for a 20 minute break. Once I find some way to get her to nap regularly, then I can work on getting some semblance of a schedule and maybe she'll even start sleeping at night again! If I'm going to hope, I might as well shoot for the moon!
This morning, I took him to the vet and it turns out he has allergies. He is currently on ear drops, ear ointment, a strict ear washing regimen, eye ointment, and Benadryl. Both of his ears have yeast infections, and his eyes and skin are inflamed from some kind of allergy. Obviously, what I really needed these days was more work for me, but such is life with 2 kids and 2 dogs. The "check engine" light to my car also came on over the weekend, but thankfully it was nothing major.
I did make what I hope is a major discovery for Josie today, though. Over the last few weeks I've noticed that Josie rarely sleeps. We might wake up in the morning, run multiple errands, get in and out of the car, drive for up to 20 minutes at a time, and she won't nap. Everyone comments on how alert and awake she is, and how long that alertness lasts, but it is truly excessive. Getting her to nap is such an ordeal- it can take up to an hour and a half just to get her to nap for 15-25 minutes. Bedtime is beyond absurd. Yesterday I started the routine at 7:30 and she was down at 10pm. By the time 10pm rolled around, I was cross-eyed from exhaustion, but I hate to put her down and go to bed immediately afterward. I need a least a little bit of downtime before turning in for the night.
Today it occurred to me to check the side effects for the ranitidine she has been taking for the acid reflux. Guess what one of the side effects is? Insomnia.
So today I took a risk, and didn't give her the medicine. She has been faithfully taking the probiotics for about a week now, and I figured that if she got incredibly fussy, I'd just catch her up on the ranitidine dose.
Miracle of miracles, she did great. She napped. Really napped, like a regular baby. First in the car, then in her stroller, then in her bassinet for TWO HOURS this afternoon! It's been weeks since she's taken a halfway decent nap. She was totally well-rested, which meant she hardly cried today and smiled repeatedly and easily. She sat in her swing and bouncy chair and didn't even scream! It was an excellent day.
Now, I know it could be a fluke, and trust me, I've been let down before when I think we've turned a corner when we haven't, but I can't help hoping. I know this child is dangerously overtired, and I HAVE to figure out a way to get her to sleep. It still took me FOREVER to get her down for each of those naps, and especially down for bed tonight, but at least I didn't have to do it 4 times in a row for a 20 minute break. Once I find some way to get her to nap regularly, then I can work on getting some semblance of a schedule and maybe she'll even start sleeping at night again! If I'm going to hope, I might as well shoot for the moon!
Monday, January 26, 2009
I actually forgot to feed the dogs yesterday for the whole. entire. day. So now I can berate myself about being a terrible dog owner too. Fabulous! I woke up at 5am out of a deep sleep and realized suddenly that I hadn't fed them, and felt appropriately guilty, but not guilty enough to get out of bed and feed them right then and there. I've left food down for them all day today to make up for it.
Josie is still improving, I think. Today she seems a little bit better than yesterday, and yesterday was better than the day before. We did have a screaming fit last night where we couldn't calm her down and at the end I did dissolve into a puddle of tears, but I figure that is to be expected at one point or another. I've been paying more attention to the spitting up situation, and I think in retrospect that she is spitting up more than what would be considered normal. The quantity of times she spits up isn't that many, but when she does spit up it feels like a lot of spit up.
Gabe is still totally enchanted with her, despite all the screaming, and I'm being very careful not to voice my frustrations in front of him to make sure he doesn't blame her for me being tired/angry/impatient. In fact, today at naptime she was crying because I put her down in her swing so I asked him if she could tuck him into bed (because I try to put him down alone so he doesn't feel like she imposes herself on ALL our time together). He said yes, so we went upstairs and after I tucked him into his bed with all his gear, he asked if Josie would give him a kiss. I said of course, and leaned her over him, and... she threw up all over his head.
ALLLLL over his head and his pillow. It was even in his ears. Poor Gabe whimpered out, "Mommy! Josie spit up Gabe's head!" I had a moment of panic, but quickly wiped him off with baby wipes and turned his pillow over to the non spit up side and rushed out of the room trying not to make a big deal out of it. Just as I was leaving the room, Gabe said, "Mommy, Josie kiss!" Honestly, how forgiving is this kid? She is so ungrateful for her sweet brother! I would certainly not want to try that whole kiss thing again, but he adores her.
Okay, one more adorable Gabe thing, because seriously this kid is delicious. My pediatrician recommended that I spend at least 15 minutes a day of devoted "Gabe"time playing or doing whatever he wants to do. So when Josie fell asleep and I felt confident that she might stay that way for 15 minutes, I turned to her and loudly said, "Okay Josie, it is Gabe and Mommy's special time now, so you need to stay in your bassinet for a little bit while we have special time." Gabe looked up happily from his train set and said, "Yeah, Mommy! Gabe and Mommy special time." I knelt down on the floor with him to play and he scooted over next to me, looked up sweetly and said, "Mommy! Ex-cit-ing!" with tons of emphasis and meaning. I tell you, this kid kills me.
Josie is still improving, I think. Today she seems a little bit better than yesterday, and yesterday was better than the day before. We did have a screaming fit last night where we couldn't calm her down and at the end I did dissolve into a puddle of tears, but I figure that is to be expected at one point or another. I've been paying more attention to the spitting up situation, and I think in retrospect that she is spitting up more than what would be considered normal. The quantity of times she spits up isn't that many, but when she does spit up it feels like a lot of spit up.
Gabe is still totally enchanted with her, despite all the screaming, and I'm being very careful not to voice my frustrations in front of him to make sure he doesn't blame her for me being tired/angry/impatient. In fact, today at naptime she was crying because I put her down in her swing so I asked him if she could tuck him into bed (because I try to put him down alone so he doesn't feel like she imposes herself on ALL our time together). He said yes, so we went upstairs and after I tucked him into his bed with all his gear, he asked if Josie would give him a kiss. I said of course, and leaned her over him, and... she threw up all over his head.
ALLLLL over his head and his pillow. It was even in his ears. Poor Gabe whimpered out, "Mommy! Josie spit up Gabe's head!" I had a moment of panic, but quickly wiped him off with baby wipes and turned his pillow over to the non spit up side and rushed out of the room trying not to make a big deal out of it. Just as I was leaving the room, Gabe said, "Mommy, Josie kiss!" Honestly, how forgiving is this kid? She is so ungrateful for her sweet brother! I would certainly not want to try that whole kiss thing again, but he adores her.
Okay, one more adorable Gabe thing, because seriously this kid is delicious. My pediatrician recommended that I spend at least 15 minutes a day of devoted "Gabe"time playing or doing whatever he wants to do. So when Josie fell asleep and I felt confident that she might stay that way for 15 minutes, I turned to her and loudly said, "Okay Josie, it is Gabe and Mommy's special time now, so you need to stay in your bassinet for a little bit while we have special time." Gabe looked up happily from his train set and said, "Yeah, Mommy! Gabe and Mommy special time." I knelt down on the floor with him to play and he scooted over next to me, looked up sweetly and said, "Mommy! Ex-cit-ing!" with tons of emphasis and meaning. I tell you, this kid kills me.
Friday, December 07, 2007
like my own personal outbreak monkey
You'll recall that on Gabe's first Halloween, he was also diagnosed with his first ear infection. It caused several days of crying and complaining and whining (on both of our parts), but he recovered. Then I started feeling like crud, and it turned out that I had a sinus infection and double ear infections. There was more crying and complaining and whining (this time only on my part), but the antibiotics helped and I slowly recovered.
We went to Florida for Thanksgiving, and there were a few shining days of good health, where I wasn't blowing my sinuses out or struggling to clear my ears and all I had to worry about were the mosquito bites I kept getting all over my legs.
On the last day in Florida, though, Gabe's nose started running again and I mentally begged the world not to let him get sick again. We came home, and although the runny nose continued, it also didn't get worse, until last weekend. On Saturday a faucet turned on in Gabe's nose and I was forced for the first time ever, to whip out that evil nose sucky device that I'd carefully avoided for 11 months. Still, this was still a cold, it was doable.
And then.
I tipped Gabe back on Sunday morning as I got ready to feed him and saw a strange sight- something white along the inside of his lips. I took a closer look and saw... blisters. Lots and lots of blisters and white patches all along the inside of his lips. I called the pediatrician on call, who assured me that he was fine, but had a highly contagious virus called Coxsackie virus, otherwise known as Hand, Foot, and Mouth. A miserable virus, but nothing dangerous. As long as he continued to drink fluids and continued producing wet diapers, we could just give him pain relievers and not worry.
The next day, I started to feel like a steamroller ran over me.
The day after that, the vomiting and diarrhea started up on Gabe's part. Then a cough was added into the mix, and the coughing and vomiting encourage each other to add to the fun. Then the coughing and vomiting would happen right at bedtime or naptime, so there was no sleeping to be had around here. Lots of laundry, though, LOTS of laundry.
Yesterday his mouth started bleeding where some of the blisters burst, and my heart ached a little for how bad he must be feeling. Surprisingly, he has been relatively cheery despite the illness, and the only indication that he doesn't feel well is a bit of clinginess, a reduced appetite and night wakings. Also the cough that sounds like an 80 year old emphysema patient.
Today on a repeat trip to the pediatrician, we found that the diarrhea has given him a yeast infection. The holiday spirit is really rampant in our house these days.
To top it all off, Tango (the dog) started acting strangely over the last couple of days, as if he is in pain or extremely upset over something. He doesn't want me to pet him and flinches away from you if you try to scratch him or rub his back. Today he ran away from me and tried to hide when I went to pick him up, and when I called him back, he was so worked up that he pooped on the floor. A rush trip to the veterinarian, $65 later, and he thinks it is psychological. Maybe something happened to him a few days ago that was painful, maybe Gabe hit him or a toy fell on him or something, and he is reacting to that stress. Or maybe the baby learning to walk is pissing him off and he is trying to show me that he is upset. Who knows, but according to the vet, nothing is physically wrong with him.
All of this was enough to send me over the edge this afternoon, and after tearily asking my neighbor if she would watch Gabe while I ran the dogs to the veterinarian, I had a good little moping fest in my car. It's just a bit much. I'm sick, Gabe is sick, Josh is working long hours, and now the freaking dog is sick too?
I'm going to make a small request here, friend to friend, that you would take one teeny moment to send us good thoughts for improved health by the time I have to load my 11 month old, his stroller, car seat, pack and play, and luggage onto a flight to Germany on Wednesday. We can use all the help we can get around here.
We went to Florida for Thanksgiving, and there were a few shining days of good health, where I wasn't blowing my sinuses out or struggling to clear my ears and all I had to worry about were the mosquito bites I kept getting all over my legs.
On the last day in Florida, though, Gabe's nose started running again and I mentally begged the world not to let him get sick again. We came home, and although the runny nose continued, it also didn't get worse, until last weekend. On Saturday a faucet turned on in Gabe's nose and I was forced for the first time ever, to whip out that evil nose sucky device that I'd carefully avoided for 11 months. Still, this was still a cold, it was doable.
And then.
I tipped Gabe back on Sunday morning as I got ready to feed him and saw a strange sight- something white along the inside of his lips. I took a closer look and saw... blisters. Lots and lots of blisters and white patches all along the inside of his lips. I called the pediatrician on call, who assured me that he was fine, but had a highly contagious virus called Coxsackie virus, otherwise known as Hand, Foot, and Mouth. A miserable virus, but nothing dangerous. As long as he continued to drink fluids and continued producing wet diapers, we could just give him pain relievers and not worry.
The next day, I started to feel like a steamroller ran over me.
The day after that, the vomiting and diarrhea started up on Gabe's part. Then a cough was added into the mix, and the coughing and vomiting encourage each other to add to the fun. Then the coughing and vomiting would happen right at bedtime or naptime, so there was no sleeping to be had around here. Lots of laundry, though, LOTS of laundry.
Yesterday his mouth started bleeding where some of the blisters burst, and my heart ached a little for how bad he must be feeling. Surprisingly, he has been relatively cheery despite the illness, and the only indication that he doesn't feel well is a bit of clinginess, a reduced appetite and night wakings. Also the cough that sounds like an 80 year old emphysema patient.
Today on a repeat trip to the pediatrician, we found that the diarrhea has given him a yeast infection. The holiday spirit is really rampant in our house these days.
To top it all off, Tango (the dog) started acting strangely over the last couple of days, as if he is in pain or extremely upset over something. He doesn't want me to pet him and flinches away from you if you try to scratch him or rub his back. Today he ran away from me and tried to hide when I went to pick him up, and when I called him back, he was so worked up that he pooped on the floor. A rush trip to the veterinarian, $65 later, and he thinks it is psychological. Maybe something happened to him a few days ago that was painful, maybe Gabe hit him or a toy fell on him or something, and he is reacting to that stress. Or maybe the baby learning to walk is pissing him off and he is trying to show me that he is upset. Who knows, but according to the vet, nothing is physically wrong with him.
All of this was enough to send me over the edge this afternoon, and after tearily asking my neighbor if she would watch Gabe while I ran the dogs to the veterinarian, I had a good little moping fest in my car. It's just a bit much. I'm sick, Gabe is sick, Josh is working long hours, and now the freaking dog is sick too?
I'm going to make a small request here, friend to friend, that you would take one teeny moment to send us good thoughts for improved health by the time I have to load my 11 month old, his stroller, car seat, pack and play, and luggage onto a flight to Germany on Wednesday. We can use all the help we can get around here.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
my three kids
Murray and Tango have grown accustomed to Gabe. I'd venture to say that Tango, in particular, even likes Gabe now. He will bring Gabe his bones and balls, and wait patiently for Gabe to pick them up. They play a complicated game where Gabe will hold the bone out to Tango, wait for Tango to grab it, then steal it back, then Tango takes it again, then Gabe steals it back, and so on. Both of them seem to enjoy the game quite a bit, and sometimes Tango will bring Gabe a toy, and watch Gabe expectantly wondering why Gabe doesn't participate immediately. Meanwhile, Gabe just hasn't noticed because he is engrossed in whatever he is doing. It is really cute. Really, really cute.
Murray, on the other hand, is still not Gabe's biggest fan. He will say hello to him in the morning, and will even give Gabe a couple of quick licks when he first sees him. Gabe has pulled on his fur a couple of times too many, though, and he is understandably wary of getting too close to the baby. So Murray's style is to just steer clear of Gabe most of the time.
This morning, the pooches were curled up on their bed in the hallway, and Gabe was crawling around while I brushed my teeth and straightened up the bathroom. I came out into the hallway and sat down on the floor in front of the dogs' bed, and Gabe made a bee-line straight over to me. After a couple minutes of playing, he realized that the dogs were within scooting distance and turned to say hello.
And Murray snapped at him. AT HIS FACE.
Now, I understand that the dog was on his bed. I understand that they need their own space. And I understand that maybe he was startled that Gabe came over to him while he was lying on his bed. BUT STILL. I was pissed. I grabbed him instantly and rolled him on his back while saying "NO" firmly. Then I sent him out of the room for a while because I was fuming. FUMING.
Murray wasn't anywhere near biting Gabe, and it wasn't even very close to him. Murray kind of turned his head to the side, slightly away from Gabe and then snapped at the air, almost as if he was warning him not to come closer. It didn't look like he was really trying to nip at him. It doesn't matter, though, both Tango and Murray have to understand that any biting behavior is totally, completely, absolutely unacceptable. Once Gabe is old enough to understand, I will teach him that the dogs need their personal space and that their beds are off limits, but for now, the dogs have to understand that if they don't like what the baby is doing, they need to move. Leave the room. Whatever makes them happy.
Any advice on this situation? Earlier this week I also saw Murray snap at Tango, so I'm mildly concerned that maybe he doesn't feel well or maybe something is going on with him, because generally they get along famously. I'm probably going to ask the vet about it, but I suspect this has more to do with crawling baby, annoyed dog.
Also, just to preempt any worries, Murray weighs 9 pounds and his mouth is so small he can't even get it around my finger. It is teeny tiny. Even if he actually bit Gabe, which I don't think he'd do, he really couldn't hurt him. We call him pinhead sometimes (behind his back of course, never in front of him), that is how small his mouth is.
Thoughts?
Murray, on the other hand, is still not Gabe's biggest fan. He will say hello to him in the morning, and will even give Gabe a couple of quick licks when he first sees him. Gabe has pulled on his fur a couple of times too many, though, and he is understandably wary of getting too close to the baby. So Murray's style is to just steer clear of Gabe most of the time.
This morning, the pooches were curled up on their bed in the hallway, and Gabe was crawling around while I brushed my teeth and straightened up the bathroom. I came out into the hallway and sat down on the floor in front of the dogs' bed, and Gabe made a bee-line straight over to me. After a couple minutes of playing, he realized that the dogs were within scooting distance and turned to say hello.
And Murray snapped at him. AT HIS FACE.
Now, I understand that the dog was on his bed. I understand that they need their own space. And I understand that maybe he was startled that Gabe came over to him while he was lying on his bed. BUT STILL. I was pissed. I grabbed him instantly and rolled him on his back while saying "NO" firmly. Then I sent him out of the room for a while because I was fuming. FUMING.
Murray wasn't anywhere near biting Gabe, and it wasn't even very close to him. Murray kind of turned his head to the side, slightly away from Gabe and then snapped at the air, almost as if he was warning him not to come closer. It didn't look like he was really trying to nip at him. It doesn't matter, though, both Tango and Murray have to understand that any biting behavior is totally, completely, absolutely unacceptable. Once Gabe is old enough to understand, I will teach him that the dogs need their personal space and that their beds are off limits, but for now, the dogs have to understand that if they don't like what the baby is doing, they need to move. Leave the room. Whatever makes them happy.
Any advice on this situation? Earlier this week I also saw Murray snap at Tango, so I'm mildly concerned that maybe he doesn't feel well or maybe something is going on with him, because generally they get along famously. I'm probably going to ask the vet about it, but I suspect this has more to do with crawling baby, annoyed dog.
Also, just to preempt any worries, Murray weighs 9 pounds and his mouth is so small he can't even get it around my finger. It is teeny tiny. Even if he actually bit Gabe, which I don't think he'd do, he really couldn't hurt him. We call him pinhead sometimes (behind his back of course, never in front of him), that is how small his mouth is.
Thoughts?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
our newest stage
I know I've complained about the dogs before, especially our recent bouts with jealousy and the baby. I have to admit, though, this little laugh makes all that annoying stuff totally worth it.
If you make it all the way to the end, you'll also get to hear Murray's patented snort. He makes that noise all. night. long.
Seriously, though, doesn't that laugh make you want to cry? The sweetness melts me. I'll do whatever it takes to get that laugh.
By the way, this video is taken in a hotel in Rochester, NY, because we've been traveling AGAIN. I am in dire need of a couple of weeks at home, and hopefully I'll be able to get those over the next month or so.
If you make it all the way to the end, you'll also get to hear Murray's patented snort. He makes that noise all. night. long.
Seriously, though, doesn't that laugh make you want to cry? The sweetness melts me. I'll do whatever it takes to get that laugh.
By the way, this video is taken in a hotel in Rochester, NY, because we've been traveling AGAIN. I am in dire need of a couple of weeks at home, and hopefully I'll be able to get those over the next month or so.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
exhausted, and more exhausted
Things are a little bit better, thankfully. I've been making a concerted effort to get out of the house, even for just a few minutes every day, and Gabriel gave me a couple of nights of 6 hour sleep- wooohooo! But it was last weekend. Since then, he's had some of his worst nights of sleep ever, though, go figure. I'm exhausted. He is getting up every 2 hours or so, and refusing to take any naps at all during the day. Saying that I'm very tired feels like an understatement.
Just to show you how crazy Red Sox fans are... Someone sent us a Red Sox sleeper when Gabriel was born, and last weekend we decided to put him in it, got him ready for bed, and glory of all glories, he slept 6 hours. So we thought what any logical parent would think- it was clearly the Red Sox sleeper. The next night, we recreated conditions. Put him in the sleeper, wrapped him up, and he slept 6 hours again! We were singing from the rooftops our praises for the Red Sox!
Then he spit up on the sleeper. I warned Josh that we needed to wash the pajama and get it back on him before the next night, but of course we didn't. He was up every 2 hours throughout the night. Clearly, because he wasn't wearing the Red Sox paraphernalia. Since then, I have made sure that the stinking Red Sox pajama is clean and available for him to wear, but has he slept longer then 4 hours at a stretch? Of course not!
A sleepless baby wasn't enough either. The dogs wanted in on the action, and have apparently just realized that the baby is REALLY not leaving after 10 weeks. So the other day, they pooped on the bathroom rug. I washed the rug and put down a towel in the meantime. They peed on the towel. I started shutting the bathroom door. They peed on Gabriel's beautiful bedroom rug. I went out for a walk, they climbed on the coffee table, stole Gabriel's toy and shredded it throughout the living and dining room. They are also stealing baby socks and articles of clothing. I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind!
I called my veterinarian yesterday because I simply cannot deal with this. If the dogs had acted up when the baby first came home, it would have been one thing, but two and half months later, I'm lacking in sympathy for them. They are incredibly pushy and demanding all the time, and we give them quite a bit of attention and treats and rotate their toys, but it is never enough. If anyone has advice or has been through this, please do share. I'm hoping that an improvement in the weather might help because I can take them on some walks to get rid of excess energy.
Lastly, I'm packing for Gabriel and my first trip, we are off to California. I am traveling on my own with Gabriel, Tango and Murray. I don't know whether I'm daring or insane. Maybe a little of both. Any tips on flying with a newborn are much appreciated also. Hope you are all enjoying some Spring-like weather too!
Just to show you how crazy Red Sox fans are... Someone sent us a Red Sox sleeper when Gabriel was born, and last weekend we decided to put him in it, got him ready for bed, and glory of all glories, he slept 6 hours. So we thought what any logical parent would think- it was clearly the Red Sox sleeper. The next night, we recreated conditions. Put him in the sleeper, wrapped him up, and he slept 6 hours again! We were singing from the rooftops our praises for the Red Sox!
Then he spit up on the sleeper. I warned Josh that we needed to wash the pajama and get it back on him before the next night, but of course we didn't. He was up every 2 hours throughout the night. Clearly, because he wasn't wearing the Red Sox paraphernalia. Since then, I have made sure that the stinking Red Sox pajama is clean and available for him to wear, but has he slept longer then 4 hours at a stretch? Of course not!
A sleepless baby wasn't enough either. The dogs wanted in on the action, and have apparently just realized that the baby is REALLY not leaving after 10 weeks. So the other day, they pooped on the bathroom rug. I washed the rug and put down a towel in the meantime. They peed on the towel. I started shutting the bathroom door. They peed on Gabriel's beautiful bedroom rug. I went out for a walk, they climbed on the coffee table, stole Gabriel's toy and shredded it throughout the living and dining room. They are also stealing baby socks and articles of clothing. I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind!
I called my veterinarian yesterday because I simply cannot deal with this. If the dogs had acted up when the baby first came home, it would have been one thing, but two and half months later, I'm lacking in sympathy for them. They are incredibly pushy and demanding all the time, and we give them quite a bit of attention and treats and rotate their toys, but it is never enough. If anyone has advice or has been through this, please do share. I'm hoping that an improvement in the weather might help because I can take them on some walks to get rid of excess energy.
Lastly, I'm packing for Gabriel and my first trip, we are off to California. I am traveling on my own with Gabriel, Tango and Murray. I don't know whether I'm daring or insane. Maybe a little of both. Any tips on flying with a newborn are much appreciated also. Hope you are all enjoying some Spring-like weather too!
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